My Son & I Want a Cat, But My Boyfriend Refuses Because His Family, Who Never Comes Over, Is Allergic

QUESTION:

"I love cats and really want to get one someday. My son loves cats too, but my boyfriend says we can never get one. He likes cats, but the reason he says we can’t have one is that his dad and sister are allergic.

I even said it could be an outdoor cat, and he said no because ‘they could still have a reaction.’ The thing that annoys me is they NEVER come over.

I don’t see why we can’t ever have a pet that we all want just because they’re allergic. Is it wrong to say I really don’t care if they ever come over? We go to their house most of the time anyway, and they never come to ours. What would you do in this situation?"

RELATED QUESTION: How Can I Tell If My Child Is Allergic to Cats?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“If they’re allergic it doesn’t matter if they come to your house or not; if you go to their house and take any cat hair or dandruff with you, you can contaminate their furniture. I speak from experience. Someone who had a cat came over to my house and my daughter had an instant reaction as soon as she sat in the chair that they were sitting in. My toddler is allergic to cats, therefore, my entire family — my parents, my brothers, my sisters — all of them have agreed to not get a cat. That way there is no possible way she could have a reaction. Just out of common courtesy and respect.”

“My fiancé is allergic as is my stepdaughter and mother-in-law. My mother-in-law has the worst allergy out of the three and even though we only go every once in a while I still wouldn’t risk it. Personally, I love cats, but out of respect, I wouldn’t do that. I’m assuming if you had an allergy you would want others to respect that no matter where you went or how frequent so it should be both ways. That being said you can always get a hypoallergenic cat if you are dead set on it.”

“My opinion on this is very divided. On one hand, this is your home and you all should be able to have a pet if that is your desire; on the other hand, some people’s allergies can be severe. Some people can react even if you go to their house because of fur getting on your clothes. If his family’s allergies are bad enough they are life-threatening, then I understand his fear. So depending on that answer, my opinion may vary.”

“It’s YOUR home. They DON’T live there. Get the cat. Keep it inside. Cats’ lives are almost doubled by being inside all the time.”

“I would get a cat. If they never come over then… But in saying that, if they are severely allergic then any cat hair on your clothing could set them off when you go there so if you do get one then make sure it’s a very short hair one.”

“Um, I think he’s in the right… Pet dander and fur get caught in your clothes and if you go over it can cause them to have a reaction. Now, if they were just allergic to their saliva/touching them (in the way I am with dogs, my skin will break out when a dog licks me or I pet them) but I’ve had 2 dogs for the last 8 years and I just suffer through the love.”

“My husband is very allergic. He can only stay at his parents’ house for an hour before the sneezing and itchy eyes become too much. But we have 2 cats now. He LOVES them! I vacuum every other day and he has zero symptoms. Also, if it’s your house, get the cat. In my opinion, your son’s happiness is more important anyway. Just my opinion though. Lol.”

“In this situation, I would get a cat. It’s your house, not theirs. I personally am insanely allergic to cats. Puffy eyes, nonstop sneezing, even the occasional asthma attack. I own two cats.”

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18 Likes

I would get a cat. If they never come over then :woman_shrugging:
But in saying that, if they are severely allergic then any cat hair on your clothing could set them off when you go there so if you do get one then make sure it’s a very short hair one

3 Likes

My step mom is allergic she just takes meds before she comes or I come there and when she comes here she doesn’t pet them. We have 5 cats and 2 dogs and she doesn’t die hanging out for a few hours

2 Likes

I am alergic to cats and my daughter has 3 and I get reactions when she touches me because she has had cat on her so if you hold your cat then spend alot of time at their house they can have reactions!!!

1 Like

You could expose them when u visit because the cat hair is on your clothes

2 Likes

Not get a cat? Nothing to be petty about :woman_shrugging:.

1 Like

Get a hypoallergenic cat. Or have family deal with it… I’ll be damned if I couldn’t have my cats cause someone is allergic

If he telling you the truth

Do they live with you? That would not stop me

Get the cat since they don’t come over

Just get the damn cat

If they never come over get yourself a cat and remember before going to their place to change clothes.

2 Likes

In this situation I would get a cat. It’s your house, not theirs. I personally am insanely allergic to cats. Puffy eyes, non stop sneezing, even the occasional asthma attack. I own two cats.

1 Like

If come home with a cat I have on several different occasions just come home with a pets.

Get a hypoallergenic cat! We had one for 16 yrs she was the best! And I’m allergic to cats.

My husband is very allergic. He can only stay at his parents’ house for an hour before the sneezing and itchy eyes become too much. But we have 2 cats now. He LOVES them! I vacuum every other day and he has zero symptoms. Also, if it’s your house, get the cat. In my opinion, your son’s happiness is more important anyway. Just my opinion though. Lol

1 Like

I wouldn’t risk it, personally.

I would say get a cat but if they are seriously allergic that could be a issue if you visit them, so maybe settle for a hairless cat. My daughter has two hairless cats and they are pretty darn cute!

Because you go to their house and you would bring cat dander over. I’m allergic to cats myself and my dad has 2. I go over all the time, but he puts the cats outside, vacuums the house, changes his clothes, and washes his hands before I come over.

Can’t they take allergy medicine before they come over? Or is more serious than that?