My son is terrified to potty train: Please help!

I am a single young mom of toddlers, a boy three and a girl 2. my son has had gastrointestinal issues since birth, and his father and I travel 3 hours to a specialist at UC Davis hospital every three months trying new approaches to ease his pain. He’s already had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy, as well as many biopsies with little to no help. Unfortunately, because of this, he is TERRIFIED of the potty. The doctor said he might not be ready to potty train until his pain is gone or at least manageable. My son is currently in preschool, and we are lucky enough for the teachers and staff to understand and help us with his health issues. However, he will be 4 in June, and in every transitional kindergarten we have looked at, it is a requirement for him to be potty trained. Mother to mother, how do I get him to want to potty train? His dad has lacked on his end of teaching him to stand up to pee, and of course, I can’t really show him myself. Any help, please!!!


Set him backwards on the toilet and let him lean back against you so he doesn’t feel like he will fall in. Run water in the sink And let him use dry erase markers to color on the lid. Start doing it with his diaper first just to get him used to the toilet.


throw some cheerio in the toilet tell him if he can hit one do something special with or for him


They have a suction cup urinal on Amazon for like 15 bucks. Super cute looks like a frog. Make it a game before bathtime. Take diaper off and throw cheerios in. Tell him to do peepee on them and give him a small prize. Like buy a bulk pack of hotwheels cars or stickers and reward him.

Try the toilet light that is motion activated and changes colors.

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You can teach him how to pee seating him down in the toilet, like us, with time eventually he gonna start doing it step on, with the poop you can help him seating down in front of him and push like you are pooping so he can copy what you are doing and celebrate everything, even if he doesn’t do anything but just trying

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I’d get in touch with any of the schools and explain that the specialist has told you not to rush him because of his problems. Maybe one closest to you so that you can go to change his nappy when they call you because they probably wont be allowed which is why they will have that rule. There was a child in my sons year who had a similar problem and that was the solution they worked out anyway xxx good luck I’m sure he will do it in his own time when he trusts it isnt so scary. Hes been through a lot and those procedures can be scary enough for adults xxx

My son had the same issues, he was nearly potty trained completely before needing another surgery that set us back and caused us to start over. We made a chart and picked out cool stickers to use each time he went, I put almost no pressure on him and showed no disappointment if he didn’t use the potty but made a HUGE deal when he did- dance parties, treats, the whole 9 yards. We used a tablet and we went to “see if any potty came out” every half hour (bc saying it that way instead of “lets see if you can go potty”, etc seemed less stressful and defeating when he couldn’t bear to do it). After so many times of going on the potty there was an even bigger reward - for us it was ice cream at an ice cream shop.

Stay patient… and nonchalant. We even had the potty in the living room so it was less of a chore and he could watch tv… for whatever reason, I got a lot of flak about that but the way I looked at it was that they’re humans- and not dogs, so they can definitely transition to the bathroom later without any problems.

My son was 4 and a quarter before he was officially potty trained and honestly? It was way easier. He’ll start to notice that the other kids go on the potty and the drive to want to be a “big kid” will kick in and he’ll learn very quickly

Animal crackers= Bribery?

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Teach him to sit down and potty first. That’s new rule in the book of parenting that says boys have to stand up and pee. Plus there will be a lot less to clean off the seat and floor just make sure you have him point his little friend down in the toilet when he pees. As far as pooping both my children a boy and a girl were scared to poop for the longest time. My son took the longest to train he was just about to turn 4 when we mastered it. My daughter was 16 months when she was trained but would not poop in the potty until she was 2 and 1/2 and it took her to get a stomach virus to finally learn.

Give him a treat to go potty on the toilet. But give it to him after he goes​:heart::lollipop::candy::cupcake::cake::ice_cream::shaved_ice::icecream:

Sit him backwards on the toilet and let him draw with a white board marker. It wipes off . start with clothing on and then in underwear and then none. Slow and regular. Explain to him while he is sitting there ,that he cant move up to kindergarten until he goes in the toilet… only big kids can. Fear is a cruel thing.and kids dont understand.

I think medical issues are an exception to this rule. Talk to the school before about his issues and they may be accommodating.


My son didnt potty train until he was 4… He will go when he is ready

Have you cut out dairy?

I showed my son a video of Elmo goes potty even showed him a YouTube video of a cat going potty in the toilet :joy::joy:

Big brother or cousins can’t show him? I can underTNd his pain. Just see maybe if he can go with assistances like. Teacher aide to help at toilet time or nappy changing ! Does he need to go to one?


Dont rush him to school, most kids start kindergarten at 5, but I think the kids that started kindergarten at 6were emotionally better and did very well academically


Try laying off dairy. … also let him go to store to pick one out might take few shops worked with my son . Dont do cheerios in bowl… they eat them lol

Don’t worry to much I like the idea of sitting him to pee one of those time number two will come and he will realise is ok, all the best