My son isn't very sociable in daycare and the director suggested special needs classes: Thoughts?

Hi, I’m looking for some advice on my three year old’s social skills. We put him in Daycare/Preschool about three months ago to get him some much socialization (he stayed home prior to that). Today the director came to me to express that she was worried he was non-verbal and how he doesn’t actively participate in class. She then recommended that he join a Special Needs class. The thing is, he’s not non-verbal as he’s very conversational at home and even when we go out together. In my opinion, he’s just very shy and doesn’t feel comfortable talking to others when I’m not there. It took him a while to even open up to extended family members. I just don’t know what to do to help him in school as I can’t be there. I don’t think separating him from his class is going to help him be more social. I’m at a loss of what to do.


He’s only 3 and the director should know better than to suggest special needs!!! I would be so mad at that…some children develop slower than others but don’t mean they need special needs


I wonder if moving him to the other class may benefit him? It possibly may be a smaller class and the teachers in that room may be able to work more closely with him for him to open up and develop a bond.
I would tell the teacher your concerns and how he isn’t non verbal, however I always preach a smaller class is beneficial for some children. I wouldn’t label it as a special ed class though.
The teacher should have never used those words with you because they cant label. That was unfair, however I wonder if they have other concerns other than not speaking?


Sheesh hes only 3, I agree with you, maybe tell the director you disagree and he may need just a little more time, being he is so shy…


He’s probably just introverted. He’ll figure out his own social qualities in his own time.

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My daughter was like this until the age of 10 and then just started socializing more. She was so shy she would sit on the teacher’s lap in pre-school during play time. All kids do things in their own time, just as adults do.


I’ve had non verbal students. If he talks at home he is going to be just fine. Some teachers are just lazy and don’t want to put in the extra effort.


He may be overwhelmed in a regular class. The special needs classes are smaller, more one on one from teachers. It may help him to feel more comfortable.

He’s 3!!! He may be processing separation anxiety and being around strangers. Do you have the option to go sit in on a class with him to interact with him and the other kids?

No need to worry about your kiddo. I was like that in school too up til middle school. I’d rather watch and listen then talk. But I would have a sit down discussion with your kiddos actual teacher and not the director. Directors are not there enough and have no business nor training to even suggest such a thing. If it really was an issue and came down to it the teacher should be having a discussion with you along with someone whom is actually trained in things like this.

My son actually does have special needs so he started public school at three. He was a chatterbox at home but wouldn’t talk at school. He spoke a little more in his second year. He’s in his third year of Pre-K and has already met his IEP speech goal for the entire year. Your son doesn’t need special ed. He needs time to feel confident and comfortable. My son’s teachers have repeatedly said he’s an observer and has expanded socially every year. It’s ridiculous to suggest special ed for your son. He’s an observer, too. He doesn’t have any developmental delays that would require special ed. The longer he’s around other kids, the more comfortable he’ll be and then he’ll demonstrate his abilities.


Sounds like he needs a new daycare. Maybe smaller? More individualized?

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It has only been three months and he wasn’t around other kids prior. I would ask to let him have more time to adjust to his new environment, the whole point is for him to learn to socialize. If that doesn’t work, find a new place to take him and explain to them how he is.

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The child could just be introverted,some these teachers don’t know of these types of personalities?

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Ultimately it’s your choice. don’t be pressured into doing something you don’t want to and don’t accept that the teacher pretends to know your kid better than you do. just let him keep going, hes only 3

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At age three i wouldnt be too worried .Hes only been there 12 weeks . Thats why you sent him to school . I say give it a little more time before putting Special labels on him.

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My 3 year old is same way he’s very quite reserved and takes a long time to warm up to anyone he’s just now started talking to my mom aka nana she didn’t even think he could talk at home he talks alot he’s just shy maybe see if a smaller class room could benefit him I’m about to start taking my 3 year old to story time at a library near me with my sister so he can have his cousin who is also 3 be there with him and hopefully break him out of his shell a bit

I swear they just want to put kids on the spectrum anytime there is something remotely not “normal”. Tell them to eff off.

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He’s nervous. It’s a new environment and he’s shy. I’d tell her that and if she moves him to a special needs class solely due to his lack of socialization, i would find a new day care. She doesnt seem like she really knows much about kids in general


Is it possible you could go in to observe for a bit to better understand what the teacher means?