It’s always been my son and me, even when we lived with his dad. I’ve always been the provider, working two jobs for a while as his dad sat at home unemployed. I’ve always made it happen when there was no help. Recently we started every weekend at his dad’s (been about five months), and I call and talk to my son. Never him calling me… he’s almost three but very mature. Anyways, for the past few weeks, when I have my son during the week, all he talks about is his dad. I try to have patience because I know he obviously loves his dad… but I can’t help but feel so upset. My son NEVER wants to talk to me on the phone, throws temper tantrums over it. But ALWAYS wants to talk to and see his dad. I’m feeling really unloved and unwanted. My heart hurts because I love my son more than anything. I do anything, and everything for him and he just doesn’t want me… I had my son to have just 1 person I could call family and that I could love and cherish forever, and that would always love me… and it’s just not like that. He doesn’t prefer me. And I’m just struggling with this. Can someone please help or give advice…
Your sons love of his father is not a rejection of you. That’s the first thing to understand. Try not to make him feel guilty or ashamed of how much he loves his dad and continue to love him in the ways you do. Children have a favorite parent and at different stages of life it could be either one. The most important thing is that you do not attempt to alienate them. It will hurt your child more than the dad.
My boy is almost 3 and does the same thing though I am home with him every day and his dad is gone every other weekend running semi. His fav this is I don’t love you Mommy I love Daddy. So you rnt alone in feelin blue about a son not Makin you feel loved
come on he is 3…
and he shouldn’t b “mature” hes 3…
and dads are ALWAYS the fun one,moms r everything else…
and I’m not sure your reasoning on having a child is very healthy…
you may need to speak with someone professional to work thru this.
Well, at least your husband is a blessing!
My mom used to feel the same way. As I got older, I always felt like I had to choose. I grew up resenting both of them.
When I was little, my daddy was the biggest, strongest, bestest daddy in the whole world. He was my hero! As I got older, we clashed so much we couldn’t be around each other for long periods of time. We were just too much alike.
I lost my dad in 2018.
I want you to know that your son will ALWAYS love you. Regardless of his relationship with his dad, you are still his mommy. You always will be. He loves you. He’s just going through a phase right now.
First, he’s 3. He has no idea what he’s doing. Second he’s with you more than his dad so of course he’s going to be excited to see and hear from his dad. Third he loves you both equally and always will. It’s not a competition.
He’s 3! Every boy loves his dad and needs his mother. The older he gets, he’ll grow out of it. My son was the same way at 3… now he’s 23 and I count him as one of my best and dearest friends…
I’m sure if Dad only gets him on weekends, he does all the “fun” stuff with him, while you do baths and brushing teeth… Children need the rules, discipline and routine. Keep being a great mom and be the constant he needs. It’s just a phase. Whenever he says I don’t love you Mama I only love Daddy just say I always love you son.
Kids have stages in life where they are their “Daddies” and other times when they are “Mommies.” Don’t take it personally & let him enjoy time with you both!
He loves you very much and never think he doesn’t, he is just a boy and boys are all about there daddy they wanna be just like them but as he gets older you will be the one who he calls who he goes to when he is sad just be patient and keep doing what you are doing.
My son is 4. When he gets mad at me he tells me I don’t like you but I love my daddy. Since he was 3 yrs old he has become such a daddy’s boy. But I know from past experiences with my 3 adult children they were the same way. I know it is a phase. 2 of my adult children call me at least once a day. Somedays it is more often. They call me when they still have problems not their dad. The joke in our house is the adult children are mine. The little one is his. Don’t worry to much about him wanting to be a daddy’s boy. He will come back to being a mommas boy. Plus you have to look at through his eyes daddy is the fun one. Mom is the strict one. Since he lives with you during the week. He still loves his momma.
Patience mom, your time will come
Don’t pressure him. Deal with your feelings, possibly jealousy or feeling left out? Your son knows for sure you love him, he is trying to figure out for himself his struggle for affection from his dad. Been there and done that. Just be supportive of his feelings.
this is the way of things. don’t disparage, one day he will see. My son was the same way. He is 14 now and sees how much I sacrificed for him. I have a lot closer relationship with him than his father. Just be patient and a good mom.
All my kids are adults now not one speaks To me anymore , so you think this wait till they grow up, my kids dad died last year at 42 was sudden he made some poor choices in life but that’s all beg ND him now, I’m all they have now but I think they resent me for his passing . We were divorced for many years . He moved on I moved on raised my kids , I did send them to him for visits 5 hours away, then I fell on hard times had a breakdown after my own mother passed and ultimately sending them to live with him till I got my head straight to which I did rebuilt my life but after he passed I became the evil one. So now they say nothing but how horrible I am, and that no one wants or needs me, they are better without me. Lovely my eldest lived with me for a while going to college, I felt it’s too expencive and she needed to focus on that… she moved out while I was away. I knew something wasn’t right since she still never came by after. Till she told me in a message my life is fine and it’s better without you in it… It hurts alot because I fell once and picked it all up. But I’m nothing to them now. I’ll never understand never
Your son is very young so is jot responsible for his feelings which are in his eyes valid m hevis too young to understamd your sacrifices or that his father has not made as many as you m i am sure he loves you. .you must be very busy working hard to support your son . make sure that when you spend time with you boy that you tell him how much you adore him . maybe take him to the zoo or the park . make your time with him asweet memory for both ofyou . it can be heartbreaking if a child seems to reject you . try not to focus on that .
Dad probably spoils him. Fun times at Dad’s every weekend. Any toddler wants that over “home”. At home you have schedules to follow, chores to do and rules. (Pick up toys, brush your teeth, go to bed at a certain time ). Mom’s hold it all together in the long run. But let me tell you, as they grow up, his tune will change. He will value your support, love, and guidance more!
HE’S 3!! You sound very selfish and petty! AGAIN HE’S 3!!!
I have 6 boys and 1 girl… they all love their dad the most except one. Dad’s are the fun ones. It’s just how it is. If his dad is still crappy as he gets older he will realize it all on his own. It does stink but almost every kid does this same thing at some point. It has nothing to do with you.