My son thinks he needs to win every time he plays: Advice?

So, my son almost five years old. His cousin almost eight years old. She is the first child that my son knew about, and he loved her. He always wants to play with her. On the other hand, when he plays, he wants to be the winner always ( I know we are working on this little by little), so they play, they cry, she wants to win, he wants to win. Sometimes she let him. Lately, she doesn’t want to let him, which we all respect. My son asks for her a lot we all kind of agreed not to encourage them to play together because of the age gap that will make my son the loser, which he doesn’t like, and it will end with crying. What do any of you do? How to handle it? Of course, due to covid not able to find him friends


Let him play with his cousin. Wanting to always win is age appropriate for him. However, others need to be modeling appropriate winning and losing behaviors (I.e. telling the winner “good job”). I would also have him play games that are luck based so he can win sometimes too (Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, etc). You can join in with games and model what being a gracious loser looks like and praise him when he does the same. Teach him how to be a good winner and loser.


Umm don’t keep them from each other. That’s just crazy to me. TEACH HIM.


Competion among siblings is the best way to establish an order that will slowly but surely change! What is little now will be bigger. But, never as big as brother, so, there’s the rub. The only thing is to reinforce each boy’s talents! And make SURE you do it where EVERYONE can hear. If Timmy’s brother just won the contest, good for him.But if his brother did not, there’s always next time! We must not reward every single entrant! We MUST NOT award every boy or girl!

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Please be advised that I have no medical qualifications whatsoever, and I was responding to those who may or may not’

So unless I am needed hear good evening there is such a thing as politeness even across the internet is there not? Well you have failed by all accounts.

It’s easy to be a good winner. Learning how to lose is tuff


Let them work it out! Introduce games and activities that are more fun than competition.

I just let them play, I don’t let my kids win when we play.
Kids have to learn disappointment and how to lose. When a game is played there is a winner and a loser that’s just the fact that they have to grow to understand. They can’t learn that if they are never given the chance to lose.


It’s age appropriate, but you simply need to let him learn on his own. It’s a life lesson.

How about non-competitive games? Puzzles, tossing a ball, hopscotch (OK, could be competitive), arts and crafts, baking, cooperative activities, putting on music and dancing, karaoke or just singing along to familiar songs (get inflatable “microphones” from the dollar store if you want). Build a fort, go for a hike, swim, bike, look for tadpoles, water lilies, flowering plants or tree buds at a local park or garden, try videos of kids yoga, t’ai chi, meditation, ballet, jazz, tap (bottle caps or coins on the bottom of shoes), line dancing, ice skating, put on plastic gloves and pick up trash along a stream or wherever you walk, take turns reading aloud, act out different parts of a play, etc.

Competition is healthy. Play games with him and model good sportsmanship.


You’re going to separate them over crying of losing games? That’s horrible! This is the time to teach! My just turned 5yo doesn’t always win her games when we play with her I don’t let her. It’s a part of life. Yeah she gets upset and pouts but I remind her to keep trying and that it’s okay to lose sometimes, that she isn’t going to win every single game. If anything just limit their game use and have them play outside with toys instead if you’re really that bothered by it. This is how kids learn. What are you going to do when your kiddo starts school and he loses games there or loses races or loses anything?

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That is not a big age gap,let them play together and learn to win and lose

Talked to the cousin and tell her since she is older let him win once in awhile

Don’t keep them from each other. My 5 year old acted the same. You have to keep telling them they can’t always win. Not everything is a competition. They can still be good at something and not win.

Make losing seem like fun…let him know its alright…and help him learn from the mistakes he makes…

Start teaching him positive things to say to someone else when they win. It makes him feel good to be involved in their win, and to see someone happy when he congratulates them. Focus on the win, even if its not his, its still a good thing.

I had to teach how to loose to my stepson. Every one just let him win. Well at 9 I decided he isn’t 4 or 5 he can loose sometimes and it’s OK to loose. He is still a really bad winner but working on it.

Seriously grow up and a backbone. Your mom too.