My son throws a fit when I am at work because he cannot breastfeed: Advice?

I have started a new job, and my son stays with his aunt and grandma, starting from 4 pm-10 pm. Yesterday he threw a huge I have started a new job and my son stays with his aunt and grandma starting from 4pm-10pm. Yesterday he threw a screaming and crying fit for two hours asking for boobies from them when I left (he hasn’t done this before). His grandma, who has constantly been telling me to stop nursing for the past few months, told me I need to stop breastfeeding right now cold turkey. I fed him that night, this morning when he woke up, didn’t breastfeed all day, and then fed him when I got off at 10 pm tonight. I desperately do not want to stop breastfeeding I wanted to go until he was 2 (currently 13 months) so I plan on keeping the bedtime feedings and the wake-up feedings but cutting out all day time feedings, so hopefully he is okay while he is with them. Is this a bad idea? Should I stop breastfeeding cold turkey as she told me to? Will keeping bedtime feedings and wake up feedings make it hard on him during the day still? I feel bad that he is throwing fits and so miserable while I am not there because he wants boob, but I feel like quitting so suddenly may not be there best idea but maybe not quitting cold turkey is an even worse idea? Obviously a first-time mom lol please give advice as to what I should do!


Why not pump and give in a bottle or sippy cup?


You can pump your milk and give it to him in a bottle/cup instead of personally nursing. You’ve got to think of those people he is staying with while you work.


Honestly the moment you began planning to go back to work you should have stopped or switched to pumping. Especially if he’s forming attachment issues to breast feeding. Pump and give it to him that way.


I was gonna say pump too. Try the sippy cup idea because he can also drink juice from it and he should figure out within a few days that he gets sippy cup when mom isn’t with him

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Quitting cold turkey can hv some huge enotional side effects. So much pf breastfeeding is an emotional attachment. He is prob wanting more cuz he isnt understanding why or what the sudden change is and its causing extra stress brratsfeeding is a h8ge comfort. My advice try to slowly shift them to night or pump but when u r home he is wanting to nurse instead spend some time with him. Filling up the emotional side will help him ease into a new schedule. Mom of r breastfed all to at least a yr. Also if u dont want to hate ur boobs when ur done do chrst exerciese when u can and it will help.

You can still nurse at night and during the day. You are only gone a little while. A cup or bottle should totally hold him over. Your boobs are his security blanket.


You do what your child and you need or want…not want someone else thinks! Nurse that babe every chance you get and pump while you are at work so he has mommy’s milk while you are away. You got this momma!!


Personally I’d just do the night time feed, bonding time before bed.

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Those saying just pump, unfortunately for a breastfed toddler it’s about more than the milk itself. Plus when a child is actually nursing they are getting more than a pump would get because there is a biological reaction between mother and child.
Regardless, children have to adjust. That’s life. We can’t always protect them from that and we’re doing them a disservice by protecting them from new experiences, learning how to adjust and learning how to be confident in themselves. When we see our children upset, it upsets us, but if they see US being firm and confident, it lets them know that they can trust us. He will learn that he can only nurse when mommy is home and he will adjust, the fits won’t last. All they need to do is sit and talk him through them, calmly and confidently. “I see you’re upset. I know you want boobies but mommy is not home right now, you will get boobies when she is back. Is there something else I can do to help you feel better right now?” And let him process his emotions.


I think I would ask why set on the age 2? Is that just bc that’s what you had initially planned or a belief of most beneficial to child? If it’s the latter continue on bedtime and morning, if it’s just bc you wanted to do it until 2 then try to change the schedule. I feel children get used to things and change is hard for them and us to for that matter. Breastfeeding is a binding time that makes them feel safe and happy you could explore other bonding ideas like bedtime massage or have your child help make breakfast something you two do together. Each circumstance is different so you judge how your child needs to be weened not someone else. My granddaughter has a certain schedule and if it disrupted she does have a tantrum bc it’s different so for nap time which is when I have her she needs outside okay time then a warm bath then a massage of feet arms and back, with relaxing music, I know it sounds like a lot but the results are amazing how well she naps behaves eats everything it’s what she needs so that’s what we do good luck finding your balance

Do you want to have to quit your job just because he wants your boob? No one wants to deal with a screaming kid for 2 hrs


I would keep with the morning and night feedings. My youngest daughter self weened at 14 months, but from 12-14 it was only in the morning and before nap/bedtime. Do what feels right for you and your little.

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Pump all your breast milk and start bottle feeding him it, and give him sippy cups with breast milk for lunch .Still gets the benefits of being breast fed. This will help him adjust to being away from you and the boob feedings . but at home bottle feed him as well.

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It’s pretty normal for changes to induce boobie obsession too. If you dont wanna stop pump and send it with him and keep your new schedule of nursing :slight_smile:

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He just misses you! The routine is new and he will get used to it. But yeah we might try pumping but if you don’t want to quit nursing then dont


My dear if you have to work then you have to pump your milk and give it to him that way it’s hard on him for you to do it once in awhile he’s to young to understand why mommy can’t be their all the time

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My daughter is still breastfeeding and will be 2 in nov. I went to work when she was 13 months and she transitioned to whole milk MIXED with whole milk strawberry yogurt while at daycare. She loves her yogurt milk and she still asks to breastfeed in morning and at night. Your son will adjust eventually, give him and yourself time.

Don’t let anyone tell you to stop doing something that is good for you and your child. I wanted to stop breastfeeding at a year, I wanted my body back, I spoke to a lactation consultant and she said that it’s best to keep up night nursing until about 18 months if you go this long so you can gradually wean and the child will understand a little better, and that made sense to me so that’s what I’m doing. You stop when you are ready, don’t let anyone else tell you to stop or continue only you know what’s best for you and your baby. And way to go on your breastfeeding journey!!! :heart:


Sounds like he’s just wanting mama. What you do is up to you, hopefully he will adjust to knowing that when you’re not there, there’s no boob to be had. It sounds like this just started happening, all the adults involved need to be patient and see if he adjusts :slightly_smiling_face: If you’re happy with still breastfeeding when you’re present then do that! I wouldn’t consider a change unless a couple weeks go by and it doesn’t get better.