My sons dads girlfriend is overstepping a lot: Advice?

My son’s dad’s girlfriend has been overstepping a lot! My son just started kindergarten; today was only his 4th day. His dad has custody from Thursday after school till Sunday at 6. This agreement was made when he was in preschool and getting out of school at 430, which was perfect timing for his dad to pick him up after work. Now our son is getting out of school at 220. So when the school asked who will be picking him up, I told them it would be me picking him up every day because his dad would still be at work. So today, my son’s dad’s girlfriend called my son’s school, referred to herself as his stepmom, and told them that SHE would be picking my son up on Thursdays, and also told them that if my son is sick on Thursdays, they need to call his dad and not me. His dad’s at work. What is he gonna do? He would call his girlfriend, and she would pick him up instead of me! How does that make sense? She then went TO the school, without my son’s dad, and without my knowledge and turned in MINE AND MY SON’S DAD’S custody agreement, our legal paperwork! This agreement is only a parenting time modification from our first custody agreement. I have sole legal custody, I am the primary residence, I am the custodial parent. In the first custody agreement that still stands, states that both parties have to use the other party as their primary contact as a baby sitter. SO… since his dad will still be at work and unable to pick up our son shouldn’t I be the one picking him up?


Not if it’s his days


He gets to pick who picks them up and if he puts her on the list quest what. You don’t get to control what he does on his days lol


I would put her in her place she is just the gf not even the wife I would call your ex and tell him she doesn’t get involved in y’all’s business that is not okay at all


You need to address it with your ex NOW. This is a major over reach. Don’t get angry, don’t freak out, but do let him know that her behavior is over stepping. If the two of you decided to make the change, that would be fine, but the discussion is between you and him. She makes NO decisions for your child.


A girlfriend has no legal right…go up to school put down she isnt allowed to pick child up… you or his dad


Legal, always go for legal advice


It’s my understanding that if she is not his wife or your child’s guardian then she has no say whatsoever and isn’t allowed to contact the school like that. He could have a different girlfriend next week.
The courts did not let my ex’s gf have anything to do or say with anything we did. We never saw each other or spoke to each other and she was not allowed to contact the school.
I would think that you would pick your son up and his father would come get him from you when he is finished with work.
But if I were you I would go to the court house and modify your order under the current situation to reflect the times of his school and not his old daycare. At this point in your child’s life he should be being picked up on a Friday evening and dropped off on the Sunday evening like most school aged children.


The school shouldnt allow that, and you can ask that she not have any knowledge from them about your child nor them accept anything from her. The agreement is not with her, and that’s dangerous.


My first question would be how long as this women been around? So I mean if you trust her I don’t see a issue with her doing pick so dad doesn’t have to grab child from you later. But all the other stuff is a over step. And also my child gets in no ones car without me seeing a car seat set up first. Definitely need a sit down with your sons dad


There’s a lot more we need to know. How long has she been the go? Is she good to your son? Does she take care of your son when she’s with him? If she is good to him and she’s been around a long time there’s no reason she shouldn’t be able to pick him up on his days and keep him till dad is home.


She overstepped by going to school its not her place. If on days his dad has him and he wants girlfriend to pick him up then thats acceptable but she was way out of bounds. School shouldn’t allow that.


Hmm- if your custody agreement says you have to use the other as babysitter, I think you might be right. Especially since she isn’t an actual step parent. I’d discuss it quickly with your lawyer and then have a convo with the dad.

Yes it’s his days, but if the agreement states that he has to use you as the babysitter I think you are correct in saying she shouldn’t be the one picking up…


Shes over stepping and it needs to be addressed period. My step daughter has a mom and a dad, and while I love her I know I am not her mother and I don’t over step my boundaries or do anything without either being asked or offering to do it. The way I see it the child’s parents should be communicating this stuff to eachother and working it out. I’m all for co-parenting and allowing new significant others to be involved, so if you were cool with her picking your son up from school it would be awesome. But for her to not ask and stick her nose where it doesn’t belong is wrong


I would go back to court and get the paperwork updated. And no they should not contact her if the child is sick she has no medical power over the child. And he needs to fix his schedule she has nothing to do with it.


I mean honestly I think you’re overreacting. He should have told you about it beforehand. But other than that I don’t see the harm in letting her pick him up and have him for a couple hours before dad gets home.


Definitely overstepping she is just a gf not even a wife. Put both of them in their place or take it to court


If his dad is at work on the days he is scheduled to pick his son up and his dad has his girlfriend pick his son up then it is ok. Why? Because she is picking him up on HIS time. What his does on HIS time is really not your business… Just like what ever you do on your time isn’t his business.


The school shouldn’t be allowing her to make any decisions on his behalf because she isn’t a parent or a legal guardian so that in itself presents a problem I my eyes if the school is allowing this further more you need to address this with his father as well and if y’all can’t come to an agreement then you need to have the agreement modified again to where both parties agree


She wayyyyyy overstepped