I need some parenting advice. I’m a divorced mother of two boys 23 and 17. Ive been divorced for 15 years and rarely brought anyone around the kids. I’ve been dating someone for some time now but just recently began to bring him around our home. The boys are less then thrilled. He is not someone who they’d picture me with. He is blue collar and a little rugged looking. Beard and tattoos. My older one is almost rude and my younger one would probably be ok if it wasn’t for the older one. I really care about this man and would like my children to be accepting. He is very nice to them and would love to develop a friendship with them. Please help.
Your boys are used to having you all to themselves. It will be an adjustment. Talk to the oldest. He’s had you the longest. Explain that you need companionship but, will never stop loving him and his little brother. Just give it time.
I would give it time they are not use to seeing mom with someone and honestly if it’s not this guy it will be the next they won’t like
Why are they not accepting? His looks? Not what they think you deserve? Still want mom and dad together? Address these things and try to explain that he treats you well, makes you happy etc. At the age of the oldest he should be able to somewhat comprehend this. The youngest may still need some time but he should still be able to also understand. Try talking and asking. I hope this insight helps.
Talk to them. It’s an adjustment for them at any age. Given their age they should be more understanding.
Tell them its none of their business who you choose to fuck… Just like it wont be any of your business who they fuck. You are an adult, and individual before you are a Mother. You deserve happiness. Sounds like you spent your time alone while they were growing up… Your oldest doesn’t need to be Living with you anymore and if he has such a problem with what goes on between you and another man, he has a fuckin problem… I get being possessive over your parents, but they need to be happy that you found someone who makes You as a Woman Happy!!! If your man was disrespectful towards you or your sons, at least there would be a reason… but your kids cant dictate your Entire life!
Sounds like the 23 year-old has you where he wants you, and doesn’t want anyone to interfere with that 🤷🤷🤷
They’re used to having you all to themselves. If there is no valid reason to not like him aside from his looks than your ok. One is already a grown man and should be on his own and the other is on his way there. You should make your decision to be with this man based on how you feel. As long as he does not mistreat your boys, make your own choices mama. They would want you to respect theirs. So, they need to respect yours.
The boys are most likely protective of you mom. Over time they will see you smiling and enjoying life more then they will relax.
They’re not babies anymore. As long as this man isn’t mistreating you then there shouldn’t be a problem. Is the 23 yr old still at home? He’s a grown man and he needs to let you live. He needs to show respect, him being rude is not acceptable. Don’t let your kids run your household or relationship. You’ve done your job and they need to move on!
I am going thru the same thing right now… It tuff… But we all DESERVE to be HAPPY!
Sounds like my kids ive been in a new relationship for the past 15 1/2 months n my youngest has his days some r good n other days he talks back or b like no one wants u here its frustrating
I think, if you choose to continue to see this man. Both of you, but especially the man must adopt and accept the attitude of allowing the boys to “come to him” for his friendship. Don’t force anything on the boys. That will give you more from the boys. Not to have the man ignore them but to give an air of space and respect.
It’s new. Maybe they just need time. But if they persist, consider what they say. They might be mistaken but they should at least feel that their opinion is valued. I don’t know the situation. My oldest son was very resistant to his stepfather at first. Now they are buddies but it took ten years.
Give it time. They will adjust.
Let them find their own way to him.If it lasts long eneough they will.
Stand your ground, if this is a man that makes you happy do the things that you would normally do with him, offer to let the boys join you if they choose to, but don’t cancel plans or alter you life because they don’t approve, eventually they will get used to the fact that they don’t get to live your life or make your choices. They may never want to truly accept anyone for you but they will get used to you being leader of your own life
Boys are always protective of their Mothers. First ask yourself if they see something you’re blinded too. If you crossed all your “T” and dotted your “I”. Move forward causally. Sometimes we can’t see for looking. Wishing you the best you deserve compassion.
You need to let them know that being rude to him is unacceptable & inappropriate & they were raised with better manners than that & you’re human & you want companionship. & the 23 yr old is old enough to be on his own & the 17 yr old will be soon, & they should want to be independent & want & respect your right to make choices that make you happy & how they shouldn’t expect you to be alone for the rest of your life. Wanting companionship is a normal, healthy desire. Would they not date anyone just because you didn’t want them to?
23 and 17 are young men NOT boys. Old enough to understand Mom needs a life too. Maybe plan a dinner with your new man and sons sit down ad talk about why they won’t give him a chance. But in the end… It’s YOUR choice to make of who’s in YOUR bed NOT theirs!!