My son's father is in jail and wants our son when he gets out: Advice?

My son’s father has been in jail all nine months of his life and wants to “get him for a few months” when he gets out of jail/goes home. I’m not comfortable sending my son to see him seeing as to how he lives 7 hours away, and my son doesn’t know him from a stranger. I know that he needs to spend time with his dad to become familiar with him, but I know he won’t leave my side, and I don’t want him to until he is comfortable. How can I slowly introduce him to his dad in a way that will be effective for the distance?

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Plan lots of outtings, overnights stays wouldn’t happen for quite some time if it were me. It will take work on both parts but he created the situation and needs to father up and handle it once able. Everyone can make excuses 🤷

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A few months no way don’t worry he can take you to court while you will have to allow him to see him a few times a weeks he won’t be spending the night especially not a few months until his 5 years or older

Depends on why he’s been in jail tbh.

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Just be prepared if he takes you to court you don’t have a say. My husband got out of prison last year after 6 years of being out of his sons life and we got him right away, and now have regular visits. One thing you’ll have to learn is your child isn’t property and you can’t just say “he won’t leave your side until you say” because it doesn’t work like that. I hope you guys can get it figured out peacefully.

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Sorry I just saw that he is only 9 months old. He should start having visitation / overnights. Mine started at 3 months. Court ordered. Doesn’t matter who knows who.

I would file for supervised visitation. It depends a lot on why he was in jail and what his conditions are when he gets out. Also, with covid, I would be apprehensive as many of the correction officers/inmates depending on location have been carriers.

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Court is your best option, but start with supervised visits, lots outing.

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Have him come to your house too see his son…

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Just know if you dont have legal documents stating that you are the “sole custodial parent” he doesn’t have to give him back EVER. Both parents have the same rights unless you have written court orders so, be safe and cover yourself before doing anything!

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If it were me, there is no way I’d send my child with someone that’s a complete stranger to them especially if they’ve been in jail. I would do outings that you are present for until you’re more comfortable. I wouldn’t even do any overnights right now until he’s bigger and can talk to you so he can tell you what’s happening while he’s there.

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I would take advantage now and go file while he is still in jail and get a plan mapped out with a mediator before he even gets out

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Nah. Just nah…nope. No way.

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Have everything done with courts . Or he can take him from you . Slowly introduce him to his dad .

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Unless you want the courts all in yall business and forcing you its best to work visitation out yourselves. Talk and agree for him to come for a weekend (not stay with you) and visit everyday he’s in town. For example Start with maybe 3 months so they can create a bond then allow him to come in town and take him 1 day overnight or both but be local so if your son has a issue staying you can be close to go help him feel comfortable or pick him up and so on but dont just not allow him because if not soon but later dad will file if he’s determined to be apart of his life

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I don’t know but don’t let him that far from you eather

Look up coparenting videos

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Start with phone calls video chat and after awhile either have him come there for a visit or you go to him and go from there but do it before courts get involved and force it come up with visiting schedule before you guy’s do go to court for custody so this way it will be better

Custody through the courts get full custody and arrange visitation so a bind can develop and once you feel comfortable leaving your son with him then go from there

Honestly, I would file for a custody order now. Working out a schedule on your own is a recipe for him to take advantage.

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