My sons father will not let me leave the state: Thoughts?

I have a one-year-old son; I’m not with his father haven’t been since I found out I was pregnant. I have a wife; she is in the military. I don’t get support in any way from my son’s father, and that’s been okay with me… I don’t need it… we take care of him while he’s here four days and his father takes care of him when he’s there three days… he’s happy loved and taken care of, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. My wife and I have been dealing with distance since before he was born with her in basic and deployed active duty, which we get through, but we can’t nor should we continue to pay for separate rents/ households and be apart. I have always wanted to leave state (my sons father knew this way before I ever got pregnant) but now I more so do so that I can give my son and myself a better future and life. Me and my wife have an apartment which me and my son currently stay in, and My wife has just gotten a place set for us out of state where she is, I have tried multiple times to ask my sons father for permission to move out of state and work with him to co-parent out of state to which he replies that it’s an absolute no and he doesn’t give me consent to leave he never will, and he won’t be away from his son no matter what. Basically tells me he will never allow me leave. I have told him it’s to better my sons future, I have told him I want to work together to co-parent that I want a schedule that is equal and fair so we both have equal time as we do now also that I want him to keep communication with my son when he’s with me through video, etc. My wife has even offered him to stay with us a month to get on his feet to live closer to his son, and he still gives me a straight no and won’t allow me to leave. I have tried everything and every angle to work with him… but he just won’t see past being selfish and petty ( he doesn’t like my wife for no reason), and it breaks my heart… I just want what’s best for my son, and it’s as if he just doesn’t care. He guilt trips me and tells me I’m in the wrong because I’m trying to just take his son from him, and that’s not the case, I would never do that or stop him from seeing him or having his time with him. I’m too kind-hearted at times, and I’m scared just to get permission to leave. My question is, am I wrong if I take him to court to get permission from them to leave? Am I wrong for leaving or wanting to leave? Am I wrong for wanting a better life for my son and myself? Any advice is helpful. Thank you so much! God bless.


If you are legally married you are allow to move a child across state line for a job transfer of a spouse


Are you wrong if you just up and leave? Absolutely.


2nd the comment above

If your married and there is no custody agreement in place you can just move he would have to take you to court in the state the baby lives in


Go to court, if you can prove it’s in the child’s best interest to move, a judge will give you permission and it will not matter what they say. Also, if you do not have a court ordered custody agreement, you can do as you wish BUT, I strongly suggest to try to get sole custody or joint custody before leaving. Then, your bases are covered and it’s what a judge rules


Also if it ro better yourself and life and the best interest of the child you won’t have any problems leaving … is he on the birth certicate if not carryon don’t worry about him


You have joint custody not quite 50/50 but 4-3 he is well with in his rights to refuse the move.


How is moving in the child’s best interest?


I would check with an attorney, sometimes if it’s due to work or the work of your spouse, they’ll allow you to move. My question is, if the father is involved in your child life, why in the world would you want to take that child from his father. Maybe give the father custody and you can come visit the child. Are you thinking of what’s best for your child or what you want for you? Really, who’s the one be selfish? And of course you’re trying to take his son from him, this is all about you and not what’s best for your child.


I was gonna say if court order take it to court if not then move

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First of all thank your wife for her duty to our country and thank you for your sacrifice. It is not wrong to move with your wife where she is stationed. I would definitely go to court and get an order so you can leave. Both tour times will be outlined in the order and it will make future plans that much more easier.

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Removing a child from the other loving parent is not good. Why don’t you move and leave the child with their father? Would that be acceptable for you to live in another state while your child lives with the other parent? I’m sure you would say no. He’s the father. He has every right to his child that you do.


Dad is selfish. Definitely assess the laws in your state.


You can move if you want if there’s no custody arrangement. He will then have to take you to court and a judge will decide what happens next. If he has legal visitation/custody then you need to go to court to find out what you can and can’t legally do. So I think you’re wrong for wanting to move? No. Makes sense to me.

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Why do you think your son will live a ‘better life’ if you move to wherever your wife is, meaning away from his father? I am not biased, as I was in this same position 10 years ago after my son was born, but I am curious.


Take it to court. If judge says ok then he can’t stop ya


File for a child custody modification through the courts. You can petition the judge to grant you permission to move out of state if your sons father doesn’t approve. It doesn’t mean you will definitely get to go but you can ask the courts to over rule his decision. If you up and leave the state without permission, your sons father can call the cops and have your son taken out of your custody and returned to him and you will be in contempt of your custodial order and could be charged with kidnapping. Going through this right now with a parent who left state without permission and may lose custody because of it.

It is not in the best interest of the child to take him from his father. It’s in your best interest. I cannot see any judge agreeing with you and allowing you to move.


There’s no court order? Move, let him take you to court. Or go to court yourself. If there’s no formal rights established he can’t stop you