My spouse doesn't work and contributes nothing: Advice?

I work full-time M-S from 9-6. We currently live at my SO’s family members’ house because of a situation that caused us to move out. We or I was planning on moving into an apartment shortly after. However, my SO does not work, nor is he looking for work. He sits home all day and pretends he’s doing something useful by doing “research” on how to start a business, and what do we know, seven months later and we are still living with his family. I clean, do our laundry, cook, help his parents financially, and (I know… I give in.) give him money when he asks, I take care of everything. I paid his car off; I pay his bills. I am so exhausted and have been wanting to start going to the gym and getting myself healthier mentally and physically, but he makes me feel like I just want to give up. I was going to renew my membership today, but instead, I had to pay for everything. To top it all off, he’s not even that nice to me. He’s not mean, but he’s not affectionate or loving very often, and I’m very intimate/touchy/lovey. I lack that from him, among many other things, and I feel like I don’t know what to do anymore. I really want just to leave but I can’t. I just can’t. Today we fought because I paid $300 for his payments today, and I still have my student loans, bills and other stuff to buy and he decided to buy beer and smokes; when I said something about it and how it made me feel, he freaked out at me and made me feel horrible. I’m sitting in the bathroom crying because when I cry, he fights me even more, and I just don’t have the energy anymore. I honestly feel so alone, and I’m not even 25 years old yet.

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How did you allow him to ever become your spouse?

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Give him a time table on when he either has to get a job for his family or when you will stop paying his bills and moving out on your own.

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Put your foot down. No more money for smokes and beer. No more paying his stuff

Why are you allowing yourself to be used and treated this way? You bet your sweet tooshie you CAN leave. You just WON’T. Read what you wrote and if you’re asking a bunch of strangers for advice, you already know the answer. You just don’t want to pull the plug. You’re too young to settle for this garbage.

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That isn’t a man, that’s another child you’re taking care of. You don’t need to carry dead weight :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Leave him and don’t give him money and don’t pay his bills.

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You know you want better and you deserve better. Is this what you want for yourself in life? In five years would you be ok being exactly where you are? Time to focus on yourself. You’re already thriving on your own so take the leap of faith girl and leave. Time to be happy.

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Hes lazy and taking advantage of you get out while you still can

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Please message me! :heart:

You already know the answer to ur question girl

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Don’t pay for his bills. He’s a grown ass man and should be paying his own bills. My husband and I have separate banks accounts so that we can pay our own individual bills and a joint account for household bills. If either of us runs out of money or can’t pay a personal bill, oh fucking well. Budget money better.

Stop condoling this man child. He will never get a job if he is financially secure bc you are paying everything. Cut his ass off! And if he throws a fit or threatens you, leave. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

You already know what you need to do. Don’t allow yourself to be treated badly by a loser.

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All I can say is I got half way through that and was too annoyed to finish. I’m a single mom, and id rather continue to do so than live like That. Save up and stop giving him money. Look into starting a parenting plan so you can present it when you tell him you’re moving out-Alone and with the kids. That’s my advice.

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What you allow is what will continue.

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I read the first line didnt need anymore be done!

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Go babe! Go. You’re better then that.

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Leave!!! Leave quickly!!! Dont ruin yourself… pay off your own debt and get yourself situated!!!

Leave. He sounds like a loser, acting all childish.

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LEAVE HIM
been there done that!!!
Hes using u- he wont change!!! It was a no brainer for me- no regrets

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