My spouse has no interest in our baby: Advice?

First time mommy here. And this is probably the last… The father of my child doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t seem interested in anything to do with our baby. I try to ask him to help me with shopping, and buying these important things for our sweet baby girl. Setting up a room for her…etc. Even her name… But he just doesn’t seem to care. We’ve lost a child once. And he did show emotion… he blames himself for that but the doc said it happens… it wasn’t mine or his fault and he was there when he said that. Anyway… any advice on how to get him interested? I need his help. Even financially… he won’t bother to help me pay for all these things. I’m also working my ass off everyday at work to make the money for our baby. So mommas… any advice?

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File for child support

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Kick him to the curb and collect child support. You’d be better off. You’re doing everything yourself anyway, at least this way you would get money from him ordered by a court :woman_shrugging:

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If your married his money should be your money. Maybe he is scared that it will happen again

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It sounds like he may be experiencing some PTSD from the loss. It happens. Counseling, communicating and being open and honest will benefit. Involve him as much as possible in your pregnancy. Ask for his input on everything. Even if he doesn’t give it.
It could all just click once your child is here. Don’t give up hope.

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Sounds like he’s depressed. He needs to see a therapist.

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Maybe he doesn’t want to get invested because of what happened before. Could of hurt him more than you know. Suggest counseling? If that’s not the case I’d tell him to get his shit together or you’re out. :v:t2:

Men grieve differently then women do as someone who has lost 9 babies 8 of which were before my son can tell you that when you finally have a successful pregnancy it can take time for them to be interested. My sons father was always afraid something was going to happen so it did take him some time to warm up and become more invested. I would definitely talk with him and explain how you feel

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He sounds depressed. If this is a change from how he usually is I would definitely see about him getting counseling.

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Have you had the baby? If you are pregnant he probably is worried to think about your baby girl being real and not making it again. Once she is alive and here I am sure he will be way more excited

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You cannot Make him care or to be interested.
Communicate your concerns to him.
Things may improve once baby is here.

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He sounds depressed. Is it just your child he’s not interested in? What about hobbies that he used to have, does he still show interest in those? Does he drink or use drugs often, anything like that? Sleep a lot? Maybe he’s having a harder time with the loss of your previous child than he’s letting on?

Without knowing more it’s hard to say but losing interest in something that you would normally be excited for is a big red flag for depression.

He could also just be an ass.

My husband had no interest in our daughter until she was actually born. Now he’s in love with her and she’s a daddy’s girl.

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dump excess baggage. That’s what he is. Baggage.

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Maybe he’s having a hard time bonding because he still feels guilty for the loss. Talk to him first … Men are usually disconnected but your situation is a little different. Maybe he would consider talking to someone. Maybe he has no idea he’s even being distant… But talk to him before leaving him.

I had a loss too and when I had my baby girl she needed to be revived then she was in the hospital three days after leaving because of jaundice… I was a mess and I feared I would bond with her because I was afraid I’d cause harm somehow… Emotions are a horrible demon sometimes. Good luck mama

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Kick him to the curve if you’re gonna have to do it all anyways. I don’t understand men these days not taking care of his family. I wouldn’t stay in a situation like this.

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Instead of kicking him to the curb like most people are saying maybe sit down together and ask him if something is bothering maybe he doesn’t want to get to attached and loose another baby men are like that they like to hide their emotions differently to women communication is key give him a chance.

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I think the loss has a lot to do with it. He may not get attached until after shes safe.

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My guess is he’s still dealing with the loss of your first child. Just a thought. He might be still grieving and scared. I’m unsure but it’s something to consider.

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I wouldn’t suggest what others are saying.
It could be hes grieving still. Maybe depressed. And hes pro6 scared it might happen again.
Once baby comes things will change.
Maybe talk to him calmly to see if that’s what it is. Have him see someone.

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