My spouse is mad that I am looking for a job: Advice?

Hey Mamas!! Needing some advice about my SO having a problem with me finding a job. We have kids age three and soon to be 1 in a week. We’ve been having some troubles financially, so I’ve applied for a few jobs to help us out. He found out about it and started an argument and told me, “if I wanted our relationship and our family to have problems, then go ahead and do whatever.” All I’m trying to do is find a part-time job to help us out with all the Bill’s and the stuff for the kids, but he’s making it a really big deal and keep arguing to me about it. I have been a SAHM for three years, and I just want to work to help us out. He wants me to wait until the kids start school. So My question is, Am I wrong for doing this and wanting to help our family out with our financial struggle, or should I just let it go.


Even more so now, get that job. I feel he is crossing a line. Telling you what you can and can’t do. Not okay. If you want to work, he should be fully supportive.


Sounds controlling to me :woman_shrugging:


Sounds like a control issue big time

You’re not wrong. You’re doing what’s best for your family and your kiddos. If he can’t see that then he’s being selfish

Get a part time job. He wants to be upset about it then so be it. Is he worried about paying child care? Because yea that’s expensive. But he does sound controlling.

Tell him to get a better paying job then.


He is wrong. If you wanna get a job that is your choice. He doesn’t get to control what you do and don’t do.


Either you get a job or he gets a second job but tell him you were just trying to do what you can to lift the financial burden. I think y’all may have more than finance issues though.

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Some dads want to be sole provider and doesnt want the woman to have to get a job. I personally dint see anything wrong with it if you have a baby sitter for the kids while you work to help out. Sorry your going through this best of luck mama


Not wrong and he should be man enough to accept the help

You have to think about child care costs, too. That’s a big issue.


Did you discuss before applying?

Holy red flags, batman.


Sounds like he has control issues… he knows your at home ALL the time. When you get a job he won’t be able to know exactly where you are and when… also make sure getting a job is worth it for a daycare or sitter

Let him keep kid while you work iis what we did-if it is going to cost all you make to pay babysitter-be better to stay home-plus pay more income tax-might try babysitting or doing something at home

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Get the job. Help out with your family. Maybe even save for emergencies. Sounds like he doesn’t wanna have the responsibility of watching your children while you work.

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I think maybe he feels insecure about not being able to handle finances alone. Sounds like he’s lashing out a bit because he feels bad

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Sounds a bit controlling to me. Wants you home barefoot and pregnant I guess. If thats the case he can get a second job then right? This aint the 50s. If he going to actually say its my way or we won’t be together well you need wake up and realize thats the start to a brainwashing control abuse method.


It’s not wrong to want to contribute, I stayed home until my kids were in school, it’s a LONG time. My SO (now ex) don’t want me to back to work, it was controlling, when I did it anyway he started to tell me who I could and couldn’t talk to, and it snowballed from there, it was sort of the beginning of me realizing how controlling he was.