Ladies, I need advice. I have a seven-year-old from a previous relationship. My SO and I have been together over 3 1/2 years, and my daughter calls him dad. His mom refuses to refer to him as a dad. She’ll rephrase. “Well, I don’t know, you’ll have to ask your mom and dad. I mean, your mom and Chris.” Definitely intentional. Yet my child is to refer to her as grandma… I’ve been wondering if I should say something. The boyfriend “doesn’t notice it” and has mentioned that I’m welcome to say something, but it’s whatever to me. Here’s my dilemma. I don’t believe in God. However, I don’t tell my daughter that, and I’m completely open to her attending church, listening to family preach, etc. I go to church on Christmas Eve with my SO’s family. I’m not against it, and I believe knowledge is a power for my child to learn what she can about the Bible, but I’m not a believer. So, his mom has told me a few times, “you need to teach her the word of God. Why haven’t you taught her about Jesus and the Manger? Will you please teach her about the Bible?” EtcYesterday she got very adamant about it while doing a little Christmas celebration. After saying these things to me, and I had short replies like “maybe one day,” she told my daughter to ask me to teach her. I said, “did grandma tell you to ask me?” As she’s standing over my shoulder listening. My child said, “yeah, she did.” That irked me. I’ve told her that she goes to church with her aunt sometimes, and they discuss God. But I clam up and don’t know what to say without sounding rude. I don’t want to read the Bible. I don’t want to teach her the word of God. If/when I do, I’ll teach her about all of the religions and not just Christianity. Also, how are you gonna tell me how I should be raising my child when you won’t even accept her as her son’s daughter?
honestly I would speak up. Your Spouse accepts her as his so why can’t she ?
Be honest… Tell her you refuse to teach your daughter about something you don’t believe in. Then tell her you are open to her learning about it, but that is if and only if she wants to know. Not just because someone tells her she should.
Also instead of calling her grandma, when speaking to your daughter, start calling her “your dad’s mom.”. She doesn’t deserve the title grandma until she recognizes her son as dad.
if ur boyfriend says say something and you want to then do so honestly idk how u managed not to for so long bf or not best believe she woulda got a response from me the first time she wouldnt wanna go a second time 🤷
I’d be telling her where to shove her religion…but that’s just me… and the fact that shes not accepting that her son is a dad in your daughter eyes makes me really wonder how :godly" this woman actually is…
Why can’t grandma teach her about God and all that?
They are saying this because they love and care. It is a big deal and the biggest and most important thing to do is teach kids about the bible. I promise you if you don’t the world will teach them all about satan. As for not knowing what to teach well explain that. I’m sure they will be more than willing to
Your mother in law is absolute trash, and seems toxic as hell, definitely needs to be put in her place. I mean seriously your child is 7 years old, if you’ve been with your spouse for 3 and a half years that means he’s been around for all the important developmental times of her childhood so far she absolutely has the right to call him her dad. Your MIL is a selfish bitch for trying to take that away from her
I would straight up say tell her ‘if you want my daughter to refer to s/o as chris, then she does not in any way have to call you grandma.’
Also I do not need to teach my daughter about anything that I myself do not believe in or practice myself. If you cannot respect that than please find yourself to the door.
You are not his wife. Is he going to be her daddy after you break up? People are screwing up their kids by having relationships like this.
First of all I want to say you are an awesome mama. Not believing but being so open to having your daughter learn about religion and choose her own path is amazing of you. Regarding religion I would have a convo with your daughter privately (away from grandma) and see what she wants regarding that situation and find ways to accommodate her interest.
As far as the calling your boyfriend dad or Chris I would point it out to your boyfriend in a subtle way when it happens. I would personally feel that he should have a convo with his mom about his feelings regarding it and that she needs to get on board with it. At the end of the day its between your boyfriend, you, and your daughter what their relationship stands as. She doesnt have to like it but she has to accept and respect it.
It took my mom a while to deal with it and my brothers kid. It will pass
She sounds like a nightmare. I’d just keep my kid away from her as much as you can.
Speak up for your child as she can not. And bout the church i believe that there is a good after place after one has passed. I’m not a Christian but I’m no an atheist. I am not one that grew up going to church every Sunday … However my children believe everything. They r very involved with a church. They r 12 7 4 and 4. They ride Sunday morning bus for church and Wednesday night bus for awana club. They go with a family friend. I only go to the church when they have a singing program on stage like just went yesterday for their church christmas program. U choose what u believe ur child can believe something totally different. Nothing wrong with it.
Say something!! My husband’s mother would constantly throw the word “step” at my husband as an insult. He stands up to her every time and has since cut communication with her. By all means, refer to her by her first name. Tell her flat out that if Chris is not dad, (her name) can not be grandma. As far as the Bible stuff goes, tell her to teach her if she’s that concerned about it. I do admire your openness. I love that you are letting her decide what she believes without having your personal beliefs shadow hers.
Okay… she is referred to as grandma but your daughter shouldn’t call her son, your SO, Dad? What kind of messed up crap is that? How would she be grandma if her son isnt her dad. Just plaim stupidity. Seems like she is testing you. If she wants her to know about God so bad then she can teach her. I myself believe, but thats not for everyone and shouldn’t be crammed down ppls throats. People like her make Christians and the like look so bad. Just because someone attends church doesn’t make them perfect. She needs to get over herself.
First of all kudos to you for allowing your child to learn about God even though you don’t believe. I would tell the grandma to teach her if she wants. And sit down and talk to her about anything thats bothering you.
I would say if he’s not dad you’re not grandma and see how she likes that, but I’m petty lol
I’d say I am happy for you to teach her about god as long as you refer to x as her dad
Start having your daughter call her “Chris’s mom”