My step-daughter is acting out: Advice?

My stepdaughter is three years old, and I’ve been in her life for two years now and was pregnant when I met my fiancé, it wasn’t his child, but he took over the dad role when the man left me, and she absolutely loves her brother. We are pregnant with a little boy of our own, and all of a sudden, she started acting out. I’m 29 weeks pregnant, and she’s known for a while. And one day she just started telling everyone she doesn’t like them and doesn’t like the new baby and wants him to go away, and also says she hates her mom all the time when she’s over here. And she’s been telling her five-year-old sister she doesn’t like her and wants her to leave her alone and go away, along with my son, me, and the new baby. We give her equal attention when she’s here and not with her mom, so we don’t pay more attention to one child more than the other. We are not sure how to get her to be more comfortable with the situation, considering she’s only 3. And we are not sure how to get her to stop acting out. Absolutely any advice on what to do and how to go about the situation would be fantastic! We have all three sat down as parents and tried to come up with a solution to the problem, but the things we have tried haven’t worked.


Its normal . give her attention and when baby does get her involve her as much as possible.

She is jealous of the new baby. She is only 3 alot of mixed emotions going on in her little mind. My 3 year old was so happy then mad about his sister being born and after he got to hold her he was happy. He is her protector. She prolly feels like shes getting replaced maybe do a day with just you and her

She might just be feeling a bit jealous and scared of the new addition, I personally think sitting down all together was a great idea, perhaps maybe plan some activies together with everyone involved, with my daughter I bought her a baby doll to take care of when I was pregnant with my son, she was great with him when he was born

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Doubt give her attention when she acts that way. That’s what it is about.

It sounds normal for a baby of the family to feel replaced and by the sounds of it u 3 parents are pretty close so she maybe feeling not does lose 1 or 2 shes gonna lose everyone to this baby the best way i can think is to provide her with own bondig time often so its about her and even the 3 of u to bond with her together but u can aldo keep try8ng to warm her up to the baby and maybe find her her own baby to adapt and learn with

not too helpful but welcome to the terrible threes! everyone talks about the 2s but i think the 3s are the worst! My almost 3 year old told me the other day that she didnt love me and called her dad stupid for taking a straw away from her… shes super dramatic. she will grow out of it. when she says stuff like that just reassure her that you care and want her around and its okay if she wants to be alone but its not okay to say hurtful stuff eventually it will stop and she will realize that what shes is doing isnt right.


Probably just more about her age, 3 year olds are jerks. :joy: Just keep her routine consistent and make sure rules are the same in both households and the consequences. She should grow out of it, if not seek professional help.


Completely normal. Watch for regression in habits. Its scary being that age and having so much going on. Love on her a little more give her extra time alone. Make her feel special.

This ones hard because she’s only 3. She’s prob just throwing tantrums for attention. My kids are 6 years apart and the oldest still says I ruined her life by having her sister. They get along sometimes but mostly just fight.

She may also have gender disappointment maybe she secretly wanted the new coming baby to be a girl


Try to give her more 1 on 1 attention now and dont forget she’s only 3. She’ll need attention too when baby gets here.


Oh girl its gonna happen my middle child was like that when I was pregnant with my youngest (baby is barely 2 weeks) at one of my ultrasounds she said she was gonna kick my babys ass :woman_shrugging:t4::woman_shrugging:t4: it’s normal really.

It’s normal. This happens even with older children. :woman_shrugging: A three year old doesn’t know any better and honestly it’s a bit harsh.
My brother was about 11 when our stepbrother (15) went to live with my parents and he used to ask if they could “return him” :rofl:ALL THE TIME.
Try to involve her more in activities that could make her bond with her sister. (pick an outfit, come to ultrasounds, things like that)
Even if that doesn’t work, as long as she does not harm the child, don’t be so harsh on her. Forcing it won’t make it better and eventually it will pass. :woman_shrugging:

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She’s 3 that’s pretty typical 3yr old behavior whether there is a baby coming or not tbh. She and everyone else will get through it and grow out of the wonderful stage


Maybe she doesn’t like being shared around from mum to dad to stepmum to brothers here and sisters there.

It’s normal for a 3 year old to tell people they aren’t their friend anymore but also blended families aren’t always easy.
Just because it’s common now doesn’t mean it’s the best thing for the kids sadly

Normal. when my daughter was a toddler was perfectly happy to have a incoming sibling…until she found out that the baby would be a boy and then suddenly she hated me, wanted the baby to go away. She tried to hit him when he was just a day old (first hours home from hospital) with a heavy toy cause she wanted him to go away. Much difference now (we added another son and she still at age 14 asks for a sister lol) but it’s normal for toddlers to go through this. Try giving more one on one, dad too. She probably feels she is being pushed to the side and scared she will be forgotten when the new baby comes.

Give her a present FROM the new baby. Go on an adventure with just her. Take her for ice cream. Explain to her you and new baby love her very much.

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3 year olds are assholes
But her behavior sounds normal to me. I just had my 3rd and it felt like my other 2 had lost their ever lovin mind!

Sounds normal for a 3 year old especially with you being pregnant.

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