My step daughter stole: How should I handle this?

Because it has happened before I think discipline should be a bit harsh… why you are dealing with it and not her mother is odd unless she lives with you… take her favorite toys … not just one… I like the idea of her writing an essay as to why she took it if she can’t explain why… “I don’t know” is not an answer and yes work it off with chores… and make sure it is a punishment not just a few little chores… don’t return her things until she does all of this

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You are making to much out of it…your husband or the mother should handle this…no she should not steal… maybe a good old pat on the hiney by her mom or dad…I hope you didnt make a fuss in front of the other kiddos


Take her phone / tablet and tell her it’s yours now . Explain to her ( you liked it . You wanted it so you stole it ) don’t give it back until she can explain why it not fair that you took something from her . Explain how stealing hurts people on both sides and in different ways.


Talk to her about why she shouldn’t do it and then take her favorite toy away from her so she will remember how it feels when someone takes something from her that didn’t belong to them.


Sounds like there’s more going on. Extra chores to earn money to replace the toy and counseling to figure out what’s going on.

Force her to return it and say she’s sorry.


What is hsppening in her life that she feels she needs to steal. Chat to her and work out together what is a fair consequence.

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I would not only punish her by taking away something that she enjoys, but I would also make her do chores (if she already had chores/allowance, make her do additional chores) to earn the money to replace the toy. I would also take the toy she stole away from her.

Make go to the other child house and own up to what she did. Take to the police station and let them give her riot act she needs to learn hope you took toy away

Have a talk with her and then make her do chores to earn the money back and buy a new one.

When I was 7, my parents took me to a model home, just because my mom thought it was a nice home so we got a tour of it. I stole some marbles from the bathroom, I thought they were pretty and took one for each of my friends. My mom found out, drove me back to the home and had me face the owner and tell him what I did, and return them, and threatened to call the police. Scared the shit out of me, but it worked.

Just ask her if someone took something of hers would she like it and see what she says do not punish her she is only a little child

She needs to 1) apologize to you
2) pay for the item… money or chores or both
3) she needs to donate the item to a shelter or someone in need.

Stephanie Calabrese …you and my daughter we 11 or 12 and got your picture taken …banned from the mall for 2yrs…I and your mother made you return all the jewelry…dont think you are an angel giving all your advice…how about starting a fire in a bucket in the back yard…only to have FD come and give you a lesson…you are no angel and should quit giving any advice

I played the step parent role and it didn’t end well in my situation. The girl got pregnant at 15 so mom give up on her. Mom was primary parent and we seen her every cple years. When she deemed it so. Well she tried to force her father to leave me saying because our son died and I was clinically depressed. I was being treated for this. That she feared for her safety and if he didn’t make me leave she would take the baby and leave. Unfortunately hes crushed but he hasn’t seen her or the grandchild in over 2 yrs. Good luck. Me and my husband have been together 27yrs now.

  1. Normal Behavior
  2. Ask her about real life consequences of stealing. Does she know what would happen if it was a store or someone else how she stole from. DO NOT say “if you were caught” that opens another door
  3. Ask her what she thinks the punishment should be. If it’s fitting go with it. An apology is not enough. Community service is great for a first offense. Can be helping neighbors or picking up trash instead of play time.
    ** Children are not born knowing all the things you do. They are learning from you. Make this into a learning moment about stealing and being punished.

Well my daughter was 5 she stole a piece of bubble gum from a store. I made her go in a return it telling the owner what she done. The owner told her aww its ok honey. Well that infuriated me because that taught my daughter it was ok to steal. So I took it a step further. I personally knew the chief of police. Soooo I took her to have a little talk with him. He talked to her for a good 10 mins explaining why stealing was wrong and the consequences of those actions…then showed her what happens if you steal… he took her to the empty holding cell and told her to listen as he closed the doors. He explained if she ever did this again mommy wouldn’t be able to keep her from being on the inside the next time she heard the door click shut. He asked did she have questions and explained/answered any she had. When he walked her back out front to me 5 mins later she said mommy im so sorry ill never steal again. And she has NEVER taken another thing that wasn’t hers. Side note: she still respects law enforcement and me.


So my youngest daughter has a step daughter that sounds just like yours. Whoop that ass! My daughter is getting a divorce because of her step daughter. She had had enough of the stealing, lies, breaking stuff, putting holes in walls because she was mad at my daughter. Now she lives full time with her dad and he’s seeing it wasn’t my daughter causing the bullshit, it was his child. Her own mother sent her to him. She couldn’t handle it anymore. He’s finding out, while raising her alone now, that it wasn’t everyone else. Take every toy she plays with, let her set there while the others play with her toys. She wont like it. But please do something about it before she’s able to do something worse.

The step mom will have to handle it. Apparently the parents are afraid to make them do right

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I would make her understand that u don’t steal anything. If u don’t make her understand that u don’t lie or steal . It will keep on going . She knew better . And I would take her something that she love so much and ground her too . And sit down and have talked with her of why she being grounded and tell her she has to write a letter tell her mom she sorry for lie . And why she did it