My step-daughters mom keeps putting pull ups on herand ruining her progress: What should we do?

My stepdaughter is two will be 3 in less than a month. She uses to get up at night and take herself to the bathroom at the house, which she spends the majority of her time. Me and her dad have talked to her mom about not using pull-ups when she sleeps that if she cuts her juice off a good amount of time before bed and take her maybe once or twice a night to go potty she won’t pee the bed and will start going her own which she did until about the last few weeks she has been peeing the bed every night and we know it’s because at her moms house she puts pull-ups on her and she doesn’t have access to the bathroom. Her mom was telling us too bad but pull-ups and put them on her. But we don’t see why if she was once waking herself up and going? What should we do? Because obviously her mom is refusing to stop using them which really we think she is too lazy to get up and take her and doesn’t want to deal with her throwing a fit when she tells her she can’t go to bed with a cup (she doesn’t throw a fit at our house about it because she knows we won’t cave in) I feel like she is being held back from her full potential of using the potty lots of parents would team for their child to be able to wake themselves to go to the potty. She is so proud of herself when she does; it’s not like we are pushing her to get up and go. She does it just fine and will go straight back to be peacefully every time ( up until these last few weeks). What should we do cave in and get pull-ups? I don’t think so because she has made so much progress. She is at our house seven days a week, roughly 3-4 nights a week or more.

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This is more of a rant post. What can you really do? Her mom will do as she pleases with her child. All you can do is what you are doing at your home with her and it will stick at some point. She will at some point not even wet the pull up at moms house. Maybe try having dad talk to mom?

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Just remember that in the near future she will be potty-trained. Maybe she has lost some progress; but she won’t be starting school in pull-ups. It’s hard co-parenting. Hang in there.

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No. Don’t cave and tell lazy ass mom if she continues this behavior you’ll take her to court to amend custody further since she isn’t fit. Tell her she’s gonna be starting school soon and they won’t allow for that, because they won’t. Suggest a stool for the bathroom. My 3 year old uses one and has no problem taking herself and getting back in bed day or night.

What happens at her mom’s house is none of your business. Know your role and learn to pick your battles.

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This seems like you are being negative towards her mum. If all you can find wrong is her mum uses a pull up I would say she’s doing an amazing job. Theres no gospel way too raise children. Having negative feelings towards the other parent can damage a child much more.

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Let it go! You just keep doing you!

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Some of these comments are flat out ridiculous. “Know your role/place”… she’s simply trying to help potty train a child. I agree, it does sound like mom is lazy and wants to keep using the pull ups. If anything… I mean, since according to people’s comments, it’s done of your business… HA! I WOULD have mom provide pull ups for y’all’s house as well. If she doesn’t want her child potty trained… so be it.

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This is the childs mom. You need to butt out and quit causing issues

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You can’t tell her what to do with her child that she gave birth to…it seems like you’re overstepping your boundaries to me know your role and stay in your place #ThatIsAll

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Just keep doing what you are doing at your house. As far as the comments as “know your place” she does know her place and it’s as a parent. Step parents have just as much to say in raising step kids as they have with biological children. I applaud step parents. It’s not an easy roll and you chose to be a parent and part of a child’s life that wasn’t yours because of your love towards their mother/father and towards the child. Eventually the potty training will stick. Just be patient. In this case there is nothing you can do about how the mother wants to do things. And always, always make sure you never complain about mom in front of the child no matter how old that child is. Good luck!

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Imagine being told how to parent your own child by your ex husband’s new girl. As much as she’s hindering, just let the dad deal with it. Sometimes we women like to have control thus we fight each other. The little gonna wean off sooner or later

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Just because a child uses pull-ups at bedtime does not mean she will not get up and use the potty. She would be wearing underwear if not pull-ups. They are for training and protects the mattress and are used during the daytime, too.

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Firstly, my pediatrician has told me a long time ago with my oldest (now 30) and I have four. That you should never be waking your toddler up in the night to go to the bathroom. Secondly kids regress sometimes while potty training. That is normal. Thirdly you are blaming the mother for this child wetting the bed. Bed wetting is the last part of potty training to achieve. This child is two. It might take time to achieve dry nights permanently. You are expecting too much. Nobody has the right to blame the mom nor tell her what to do in her own home with her own child. The child is two everyone needs to be patient and consistent and it will eventually happen.

Unfortunately this is out of your control. All you can do is keep reinforcing potty training at your home. She will eventually get it, even if it takes longer.

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I am a step mom and I know how frustrating it is to try and coparent. cause all you want the best for the child. It’s very sad these days cause people don’t want to work together and do what’s best for the child. Instead people being negative. Why not all work together for this child.

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Nothing you can do it’s up to her mother with what she does there. But don’t buy pullups at your house. She will learn that both places are different.

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Sounds like it is her place and her business if she’s at her house seven days a week (Kanye shrug)

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It is frustrating that you can’t set rules at the other parents house, but yes child a 2 year old child will still have accidents. A pull-up isn’t going to cause the accidents. It’s unsettling for a kid that young to do so much back and forth with different rules at each house, but honestly, she’s the girls mother. You signed up for it. If the mom wants to use pull-ups, then use pull-ups. My daughter was in pull-ups for a month accident free before I stopped putting them on her and used big girl underwear. The kid is ALMOST 3 for Pete sake. She’s not 3 yet. And most kids I know still have accidents until they are 4

The know your place/role comments are ridiculous. Parenting doesnt have a place or a role. It doesnt have a “stay in your lane” option. There are just several people who parent instead of the original two, and there are 2 households intead of one. Point blank. :woman_shrugging: Things might be different between the two places but in the end there is “no role” but parenting for all.

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