My step-son is constantly driving me crazy: Advice?

I have an 11-year-old stepson, and he has driven me crazy ever since my partner and I have been together for the last couple of years. There is never a time he’s around. You don’t have to constantly tell him to stop or to just chill. He’s constantly doing something that makes annoying sounds or hitting things. He can never sit still in one place, and I’ve approached my partner about ADHD, and he refuses to look into it. My 1.5-year-old daughter even gets annoyed with him because he’s always in her face or doing things to annoy her or be mean to her. His mother is absolutely no help at all, she doesn’t think there is anything wrong or anything that needs to be dealt with. I feel like I’m constantly on edge because I’m always saying something to him or have to keep close attention when he’s around my daughter. I need advice on what to do.

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Sounds like ADHD I have son who used to do same

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Your first sentence makes you sound like a huge bitch. I’m sure you drive your stepson crazy as well.
Sounds like ADHD, seems like you and your partner need to have another talk about what can be done. But who are you to self-diagnose someone else’s child.

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U sound like an extremely huge bitch

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he’s a kid. that’s what kids do.

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don’t diagnose someone else kid bc he doesn’t want to be quiet when you want him to.

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You sound like an asshole… he’s a kid. You need to grow up

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He cant help if he has ADHD sounds like it!Especially if his parents arent taking him to a doctor to get help.Its not his fault.

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My 5 yr old is super chill and gets along with everyone but my nephew… he has some form of a learning disability and it’s the same thing for me girl! He’s constantly in my daughters face and I’m constantly on edge…

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I have ADHD it is not a bad thing. I would talk to your SO about it. I know when I was his age it was hard for me you will have to work with him. You can message me if you want to talk more about it.

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Kids who need some positive attention ask for it in negative ways.

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Wow, this is why I’d never come to this page for advice. You all sound like what you’re calling her… she obviously cares. She’s stuck around and just wants help for him and her. Maybe think before you say hateful things.

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You can tell you didn’t think this question through, and just jumped the gun out of anger since the first 3 sentences don’t even make any sense.

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He a little kid. 11 year olds are gonna constantly be obnoxious and do annoying things. And diagnosing a child that is not your shouldn’t be your problem. Yes, ADHD may be the cause but you don’t know that. His father may know about it but doesn’t want to look into it because the fear of having to pay for constant medication and help that he doesn’t want to go through and stress about and have his child struggle to go through it. I’ve seen out with my brother. If it’s an issue, maybe sit down and talk with him. He’s a kid and just talking with him calmly instead of looking at him like he’s some kind of annoyance, he’s sure to understand. He knows when you are against him and will continue to do what he is doing to annoy you on purpose. And most likely, he’s going through a phase in his life where he doesn’t understand why his parents aren’t together and he’s using that to lash out. He may not even have ADHD to begin with. When my parent split, I was constantly annoying the crap out of my mom and despised my stepdad. I hated them. Now I’m an adult and I’m over it.

Rule number one of being a step parent. Do not diagnose a child that is not your own blood. That’s a recipe for disaster.

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It sounds like a cry for attention/love!
Why don’t you try engaging him in family activity’s?
Puzzles, board games, bird watching, going on walks or what ever you all enjoy?

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I don’t think it’s fair to you when your husband won’t even discuss a problem regarding his son from a previous relationship. It is not fair to you and now you and the daughter you have together. Why don’t you find someone you can discuss this situation and if there is anything you can do to help him and yourself.

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This sounds just like my son. He has adhd and we believe he may have Tourette’s. He hasn’t been diagnosed with Tourette’s but he has multiple tics and has went through multiple tics over so many years. It’s SO stressful every single day. If you’ve never dealt with a child who has disabilities then you shouldn’t judge someone who does because it’s really hard.

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For everyone saying she’s a bitch and this & that… I KNOW for a fact at least half of y’all get pissed at your own kids and say they’re driving you crazy, wish they’d calm down, etc.
But when someone else does it, it’s a damn sin.
The child may have adhd and no that’s not his fault. That’s his mom & dads fault for not getting him proper care.
But if he’s mean to her child and always messing with her, that is no way ok. What if one day it gets taken too far? What if he actually hurts her on accident or on purpose. She’s trying to keep her sanity like ALL OF US MOTHERS and also keep her daughter safe.
You guys calling her a bitch should shut your hypocritical mouths and take a chill pill.

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Maybe he picks up that U arnt enjoying him being around kids pick up on things my son’s ADHD his youngest sibling is 2.5 and he is awesome with his brother don’t automatically assume there’s something wrong maybe look at your attitude towards him and go about things in a different way kid will play up and purposely do things because they know there getting on your last nerve

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Maybe you just have anxiety and he is fine? He is a child. You have to be patient. Im sorry you feel this way, but at the end of the day, you signed up to be in his life when you started dating your partner. Also it’s hard to admit there is something happening with your child. But if his parents refuse to get him evaluated, you have to kind of deal with that.

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