My step-son terrorizes my kids: Advice?

Just venting, I’m about to lose it y’all. I understand child development, and I’m super patient. But I’ve had enough. My almost-four-year-old step son tortures and terrorizes my children (close in age) nonstop, especially my baby daughter. He’s usually here a couple of days a week and then each weekend. My husband gets furious if I say anything. He pinches, hits, bites, kicks them, bosses them around, takes things from them, follows them around whispering threats to them. He’ll follow them sneakily into another room and start beating them if my husband and I turn our back for one sec. Just a moment ago, my baby daughter was just standing there watching tv, and he snuck up while I was cooking, grabbed her, and dug his fingers into her palms and punched her in the head! He didn’t know I saw it, and I came running and grabbed her and kept her in the kitchen so he couldn’t go after her again. I’m not allowed to discipline him at all, and he knows it, and they’re terrified of him. He constantly attacks my husband, his mother, and I’ve caught him torturing our neighbor’s cats behind our playhouse. We’ve got a baby coming soon, and I’m going to be too scared to even put the baby down because I know this child, will hurt him. I’ve told my husband, very gently and respectfully, that this child needs to see a psychologist or therapist or something, and he gets mad and says that he’s just got a “rough” personality. Has anybody been through this? I’m exhausted. My stepdaughter is really sweet and doesn’t seem to have any behavior problems.

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He needs help!!! Something has HAPPENED to him. Your children are not safe

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Get that child help! Something has happened for this child to be like that…When baby gets here ,it will get worse!

Oh my gosh…I am so sorry this is happening. I would be terrified.

I wouldn’t put up with it and if at all possible I’d leave with my kids when he is there.

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Set up a trail cam in the house show your hubby what’s going on

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If you’re helping raise them, you should have the ability to discipline. Its not good for a child or fair to you for him to go without discipline.

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If he isn’t going to listen to your concerns and the abuse your children are under, pack some bags and leave for awhile. He will either open his eyes and see that things need to change or keep living with his head in the sand.

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To protect your own kids, if the dad isn’t willing to step in and discipline (or even allow you to?) I’d leave when that child is there. I could not tolerate that at all.

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I’d be telling him to get him help or to take him and leave.

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That boy needs help before it gets worse! He is still a young child, but this behavior needs to stop. The dad and mom need to do something ASAP. He sounds like he needs psychological help immediately.

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If talking to your husband nicely doesn’t work. You need to decide if being with him is the right thing. Maybe it’s time you take a break from one another and re evaluate your situation. That’s abusive behavior and completely unacceptable. It may be time to give your husband an ultimatum. If he doesn’t allow you to discipline its time for you to step up and protect your children. As hard of a situation as it is… action needs to be taken. Period. I would not tolerate this kind of behavior and neither should you.

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That child needs some help. Maybe counseling, but if he is basically trying to force u into a situation that endangers your other children I would leave ASAP

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That is not just a rough personality… and that child needs punishment. Both parents are just allowing it to happen

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Screw that, I’d start disciplining that child. He does need help and a lot of it.

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I personally would leave until he gets help

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Fuck that I’m whoopin ass! His dad better get it together or be ready for this divorce! I’m not lettin any child make mine feel terrified in their home and I’m not walking around my house afraid that you will harm my child…

I would not be present during times he is there. My kids & I would be out the door, and if it continued, Id be looking at divorce with supervised visits for the safety of my children.

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Decipline him!! If not then I would not allow him to be around your kids! They don’t sound safe and eventually someone’s going to notice the marks on them from him and notify cps

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I would honestly tell him that if you can’t discipline an if your husband doesn’t start to, then they both need to leave. No reason to allow a child to hurt another one. Or you leave, you can loose your kids if teacher or even neighbors are concerned. Remember you are your children’s voice an safe place do.

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