My stepson still pees the bed at night: Advice?

Please keep anonymous. My husband’s son is ten, and he still pees in the bed. We have to buy him small adult pull-ups for men bc he has already outgrown the kid pull-ups. Like this isn’t just a little bit of pee; we can wake him up several times throughout the night to get up and go pee, but by the time he wakes up, he has soaked through the pull-up, the pee pad, sheets and has already soaked to the mattress. This is a nightly thing, and having to wash the bed sheets and mattress every day is getting to be a little much. My husband, which is the child’s father, already asked the mother to take him to the doctor bc this isn’t normal and the amount that he pees. He has nothing to drink after 7 pm, and we cut out soda altogether. His mother has insurance on him and said he pediatrician said it’s normal and he will grow out of it, but I think there is something else going on like he needs to go to a urologist and be checked out. My husband has told his son’s mother that he will make the appointment and take his son, so she doesn’t have to, but she always says he’s fine. This is so frustrating and upsets me so much bc the mother acts like this isn’t something she should be concerned about. I have a 9-year-old, and the boys can’t even share their bed together bc my stepson completely soaks him at night, and they both wake up wet and have to take showers. This is not fair to anyone, especially my stepson bc I just feel like his mother doesn’t care, and if I try to step in and say something, she will get upset. My husband and I have been together for three years and have a child together, so I feel like I should have some say in this and get this figured out, but I just don’t know how to approach the mother without starting an argument. Any advice would be great, thanks!

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Needs to see a doctor both physical and psychological.


I peed the bed until I was 22. My mom took me to the doctor and they said I just had a small bladder. Try setting an alarm for him to wake up and go potty. Sometimes it just happens and nothing we do can stop it.

You dont really have any say unless your husband takes him to the doctor. Boys wetting the bed is normal and until he hits puberty a doctor probably wont do anything about it. I would suggest a chiropractor I’ve heard that helps ( if dad doesnt have legal custody he needs to work on getting it so he can make medical decisions too) he could simply have a small bladder and there is nothing you can do about it.

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Maybe just say “ I think maybe we should get a second opinion so that we can all help him get through this. If it’s nothing then we all know that we did the right thing!”


Take him to the doctor. Some children don’t develop the part of the brain that wakes you up to pee until way later. There are medications and routines that can help develop it and prevent future issues.

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I have heard of ppl using devices that help wake kids up on there own. I believe there is a watch he can wear and it may vibrate or alarm to wake him up so he doesn’t pee the bed. Definitely Google that before getting him put on any medicine for it.

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My brother had to be on medication for this for a few years at that age! My 10 year old will have the occasional accident because he sleeps to hard. It could be normal and it could be a condition. I highly doubt a pediatrician said it’s normal though! That is definitely not normal. He needs to see a urologist. If I was your husband I’d make the appointment and take him regardless of what the mother says.


It is very normal. My son did till around 13. Boys are prone to bed wetting. And let him kn now it’s ok and dont make him feel bad


I took a few classes in psychology and sociology and that is a sign of anxiety. If he doesn’t do it through out the day time and has complete control, I don’t know/think it would be a physical condition.


Have dad make appointment and take him anyways. If your that worried. I peed the bed till I was 12. Both my sons still so at almost 11yrs and 6 yrs old. He’s seen the doctor and specialist and it’s pretty normally they said. You can try the vibrating thing that wakes him up just wait liquid should be cut off a little earlier than 7 and of course the waking him up more often to go to the bathroom in at night is about all you can do.

My 10 year old also pees the bed still. We have seen doctors and done everything imaginable even hormone medicine and the bed alarms. Nothing has worked… :confused: I’d take him to rule anything bad out but basically it just is what it is until he grows out if it.

Been there and it’s normal. Probably a small bladder. Best bet is yeah get a second opinion. But ours has been to 3 doctors and still the same. Now he’s getting better but 3 days out of 4 he has dry nights

So…why cant your husband take him to the dr?

Everything I’ve ever read in scientific journals regarding bed wetting says not to wake them in the middle of the night just to use the bathroom. Do your own research before a Dr visit, if that ends up happening; Google scholar. Also, his dad doesn’t need mom’s permission to take him to a Dr. I agree with others above, should definitely consider medical Dr and psychologist.

Call the doctor n get him checked out even if the mother disagrees cause something not right. They obviously share custody so he can make an appointment too.

No more overnights until she takes him.


Not to be the its normal crowd, but my little brother peed to bed until he was almost 14. And my own son peed to bed until he was about 12-13. My brothers pediatrician and my sons said the same thing rhat its normal and will be outgrown. Kind of a boy thing. My sons ped did prescribe a nasal spray that was supposed to help but it wasn’t covered under state medical and cost over $100 out of pocket, so we hust dealt with it. I never made a big deal out of it. From experience with my brother because I did attend his dr appts I knew it can be normal for boys. But I took my son just to be on the safe side. But I didn’t make a big deal out of it just cleaned up, morning baths, etc…

I wet the bed until 9/10. My mum took me to the doctor, said it was my body growing so very fast, also holding it all day long.
I would keep insisting he go to his PCP.

This is coming from someone who watches way too much TV. But is there any emotional or behavioral problems? Unfortunately (but definitely not in all cases), bedwetting is a sign of abuse. I definitely suggest the same as above. Needs to see a pediatrician & a mental health doctor