My Teen Kids Are Always — Always! — on Their Phones or Other Devices: How Can I Stop This?

QUESTION:

Please help, please!!! I have three teen kids, and they don’t want to do anything but play on devices.

I am so tired of always having to yell at them every single day, day in and day out, to get them to do anything around the house. I have taken devices away, and after a while, they will do something around the house just so they can get them back, but once they get them back, it goes back to the same old thing.

I’m so tired of always having to be aggravated with them about this day in and day out. Please, no bashing. I’m hurt by this. Something has got to change."

RELATED QUESTION: Should I be concerned with what my son was looking up on his phone?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“Who’s the parent? Sorry, but I can’t wrap my head around my kids controlling me and running my household. Put your foot down. Be the parent. Set the rules, establish consequences, and stay consistent.”

“You can set parental controls on their phones that do time limits on apps, internet, where they can go on it, etc. You can also set timers on most routers now for devices that log in. We have Secure Teen to monitor calls, texts, etc. and I can set time parameters block apps and websites, and see texts, calls, and Lotta different social media apps that she might use.”

“Make a schedule of how much screen time they get, lead by example cut yourself off too for a certain amount of time so shut wifi completely off in the house and make them surrender electronics, tell them to do x amount of activities a day then you’ll get your device but that goes for you too momma. Monkey see monkey do no matter how old.”

“Turn the wifi off. I have an app for my kids where I’ve scheduled them to be on from 10 am until 5 pm. They don’t get them until everything in the house is done. And if they don’t do what I asked while they’re on it I can lock it from my phone. The only way to unlock it is my password or a generated passcode from the app. Which is a different code every time.”

“My kids have a check list of stuff they have to do before they get devices, including things like chores, eat something healthy, take a shower, and pretend like they like each other for 30 minutes. They lose the devices before bed every night.”

“Don’t give them back till you see consistent change. And if they revert back to old ways take them again. And then let them know this time it will be for even longer. I took my son’s Xbox one time for 6 months. Kids don’t need games those are a privilege, not a necessity.”

“I think just taking them away daily until chores are done just needs to be what is ‘the norm’ in your house. Keep it up until then just doing what is expected by you in your home becomes ‘the norm’ for them. They are old enough to know better. All these extra things aren’t part of our role to provide as parents… they are benefits that need to be earned and appreciated.”

“Have them put the devices aside until chores or whatever it is you want done is finished. I also have a set time where devices are no longer allowed after a certain time.”

“Stop giving it back to them. They don’t need their cell phone unless they are away from the house without you.”

“I put parental controls on everything. Three hours a day, they realize pretty quickly how to manage their time on them.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

8 Likes

Take it from them for about 2 weeks my 10 year step daughter has a phone and does the same thing and she knows not to touch her phone til after she cleans and we tell her to

Stop giving it back to them. They don’t need their cell phone unless they are away from the house without you.

2 Likes

Make a schedule of how much screen time they get, lead by example cut yourself off too for a certain amount of time so shut wifi completely off in house and make them surrender electronics, tell them to do x amount of activities a day then youll get your device but that goes for you too momma. Monkey see monkey do no matter how old.

2 Likes

:raising_hand_woman:t2:
Stop giving it back
:woman_facepalming:t2:

3 Likes

Why keep giving it back!??! As parents our kids do what we allow them to do.

Have them put the devices aside until chores or whatever it is you want done is finished. I also have a set time where devices are no longer allowed after a certain time.

Take the chargers and watch how fast they panic, but don’t give them back. 🤷

Make a chore chart chores are done then the devices can be given to them

Pull the plug to the internet, call cell phone provider suspend services, take all chargers!

After chores give them the wifi password?

My aunt just took my cousins electronics away cold turkey :woman_shrugging: they struggled for about a week but eventually got over it and they are starting to sleep better. She is slowly letting them have them again for 30 minutes a day.

Turn off the internet

Take them away?? Dont give them back till ur ready too. Make them work for device time by doing chores and school work.

Think they are all the same

My kids have a check list of stuff they have to do before they get devices, including things like chores, eat something healthy, take a shower, and pretend like they like each other for 30 minutes. They lose the devices before bed every night.

3 Likes

Change the wifi password.

Everyone making it sound so easy!! Im in the same boat with 2 teen girls!! Im tired of yelling at them taking things away they don’t care they will sit there and not do anything and what makes me give in is when they start saying suicidal things! :-1::sob::sob:

Chores first? Take away the chargers. If the chores aren’t complete the devices will die? Don’t give the chargers back until everything is complete ? I feel for you:( I hope things get better !

My 2 year old and 5 year old are the same. They’ve got iPhones and iPads. Just take it from them. They don’t pay the bills

2 Likes