My wife and I haven't been intimate in a month: Advice?

Advice: My wife and I have a nine-month-old. I also have had a change in my libido since birthing him. She wanted sex when I didn’t. Then mine came back eventually, and now she doesn’t want it. She says she wants more of a connection and not just sex. But to me, having sex IS a connection. I’m frustrated that she isn’t frustrated and haven’t been intimate in over a month. Help.


Tell her how you feel and be open honest get a sitter go on a date night bring her flowers tell her she is beautiful take her to nice place or maybe rent a movie from redbox etc you have to reconnect the magic that was once there


Everyone has a different love language. Remember to choose your battles and what exactly you’re getting angry with her at. I personally use touch and sex as my love language. My partner had fallen out of love with me and didn’t want sex. All I saw was a lack of intimacy. After our breakup I saw how I was I was toxic bc I wasn’t listening to his love language. It’s all a balance and I know it’s frustrating but like get toys and listen to your wife’s love language


A whole month? That’s nothing, seriously, not being mean or sarcastic at all.
Tell you her feelings, but also start romancing. Cook dinner, do dishes, run her a bath and give her time to chill while you watch the baby.
Ask her how her day was, tell her she is beautiful. Shes human and is probably run ragged just with the 9 month alone.
Be patient and try to understand.
In the end. Be honest and do and say all out of love and adoration for her.
The 23rd I will be married 30 years and he does all that often.


A connection? Take her to dinner, have a nice date night remind her of the love connection. A baby is stressful for everyone.

Having kids is hard on couples. Hormones change and emotions go crazy. We went back to the dating phase. Movie night, a special dinner for just the two of us after kids went to bed. Cite sweet text through out the day. Little things. Communication is very important.

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Date night is required, show a lil affection on a daily. She’s just pooped out, not that she doesn’t desire you.


Okay i been in her shoes you rejected her so much that she don’t care about sex no more its no in her routine anymore and she’s realized with the new addition sleep is better


Sounds like she feels underappreciated. Make her feel special. Romance her before you romance her.


Find your connection again with no expectations. Leave her notes, bring her things she would love and do things she needs done in her own love language. Sit down and talk. After a baby so much changes and she could have felt very rejected by you and therefor is now shut down. She doesn’t want just sex, she wants to feel sexy and that you find her sexy. Woo her like you did when you first met. It sounds you both need a little more attention.


Intimacy is what she wants. Sex isn’t the only answer.
Communication, patience, understanding and effort!!!

Take her on a date, just because. Watch a movie and cuddle, just because. Shower together, brush her hair, kiss her on the forehead and give waist hugs. Go for daily walks (yes with the baby). Hold her hand.

Find a way to laugh together.

It’s small things but they’re big for emotional support.

Tell her you love her and you’re proud of her.

I’m hoping everything is reciprocated. Because you deserve all this as well.


Same thing here except my husband gained a lot of weight and now his low sex drive is even lower. Sucks

A month? That’s it? Sorry but deal. She did a HUGE thing that takes much longer than 9 months. Now go support her. Change a diaper and grab her something to drink.


Me and my wife have had this trouble since I had our son 6 almost 7 years ago. We have struggled sexually since but recently I started wearing sexy things lol. I got all kinds of new panties and sexy nightys. It makes me feel good about myself and makes my wife want me. I hope things work out for you and soon. It can be super hard but love will ultimately be what brings you together


She probably is. I have been here. Just keep trying and telling her she is beautiful. We eventually come around :heart:

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She wants affection and for it to be more than just sex. Make her feel special outside the bedroom. It’s not that hard.


Make a date night for the both of you. So you guys can just talk and enjoy each other’s company. Make her feel special


I can relate, im in the same shoes as your wife. You need to romance her.
Hug her unexpectedly. Kiss her forehead. Really kiss her. Snuggle with her when you can. Hold her hand. Tell her you love her. Tell her she is beautiful. Gently touch her without expecting anything in return. Help out with the house work.

She probably feels overwhelmed with everything she has going on. She probably feels defeated.


Try cuddling and making out just to make out. No sex expectation. I’ve found it helpful getting me and hubby connecting physically. Good luck!

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Have a 1 on 1 open conversation about it. U both need to b on the same page instead of both of u feeling differently. Maybe try cooking her a romantic dinner, a movie and throwing compliments her way. After having a baby a woman’s self confidence sometimes goes down let alone don’t feel the same. Maybe see if something is bugging her and try to understand what’s going on? Ur doing nothing wrong u both just need to b on the same page