My wife cheated and is now pregnant: Advice?

My wife and I have been married for almost four years. We have a one-year-old son together. He is an exact replica of me. In April, my wife and I were going through some trust issues. I found out that she had been messaging a guy who wanted so badly to take my place, and she was falling for him hard. I decided we needed a break and took my son and me to my mom’s house, which lives about 3 hours away. I was gone for about three days. I started missing her and decided to go back home and forgive her. During that time, she swore she had blocked the guy. About a week after that, she admits to me that she slept with the guy unprotected, but he didn’t come in here. She said she did it to hurt me for leaving her. I have hurt alright, but for the sake of my marriage, I forgave her again. Her period was due in May, and she didn’t come. End of May, we decided to do a pregnancy test. She wasn’t on any birth control since January of this year. The test came back positive. It hurts to know that there is a possibility of the child not being mine. She and I do have unprotected sex because I try to trust her. I am praying that the child is mine, but a part of me feels it isn’t. I don’t want to leave her, but it hurts too much. I don’t know what to do. She said if I do a DNA test on the baby, she will leave me. I love her too much and don’t want my son to grow up in a separated household. I don’t know what to do.

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So many things wrong. 1st…she cheated and she is making you feel at fault? HER fault NOT yours. He didn’t “come in her?” She “didn’t come”? Where did you learn reproduction? None of that MATTERS! It depends on HER ovulation days. There is a 50/50 chance it is your child. I’d kick her ass out and file for immediate full custody of your child. And do NOT get on that birth certificate of current “love child” until a test is done. YOU will be financially responsible if you’re on the certificate. Get a lawyer, keep your house, your child, your MONEY AND heart. Dump the whore. Once a cheater always a cheater. Learn to forgive but if you let this slide, you are teaching her how to treat you.

This is a really tough situation. I am genuinely sorry for how you must feel. First and foremost, I think a decision needs to be made by you whether or not you can forgive her for what damage has been done regardless if the unborn child is yours or not.

With that said, you have the right to know if this child is yours or not regardless if you stay together. Her not seeming remorseful nor being understanding of your potential request for a DNA test are bad signs. I feel you’re love and vulnerability is being taken advantage of. It’s unfortunate and again I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

You have been stabbed from back ethically and emotionally. I’m sorry for your current and upcoming trauma. Unfortunately in my opinion there is no meaning taking the knife half out or fully out, emotionally you will be bleeding to dead in any cases, let it go and you will born again in time somehow and somewhat. Time will heal

If she’s already cheated on you, is pregnant, threatens you if you do a DNA test, she will leave you, with all that, she has gone too far. No matter how much it hurts, you should leave and not play into her controlling. She will NEVER be faithful and by staying, your child will feel the tension between you both and it WILL affect him whether you realize it or not.Your marriage will never be a happy one, you cannot fix this.She is using/manipulating you and she always will. If she truly loved you, she wouldn’t have been unfaithful to begin with. You and your child deserve better!! It may be better/healthier if you leave.

Call her bluff and do the DNA. How dare she threaten YOU, when SHE admittedly cheated? Children deserve to know their true parentage, for medical reasons, if nothing else. If she leaves, too bad, but a good guy like you deserves someone who can be loyal to you. When you say you love someone, the very LEAST you can do is be faithful to them. What a mess she has created and unfortunately, you and the children got swept up in her debacle. Best wishes that this all works out for your good and the good of the children. :heart:

Her threatening to leave if you do a DNA test should really tell you what you need to know about her. You deserve the truth. What you 2 decide to do with that is your business but if you are not the father then that child 100% deserves to know who is. Absolutely selfish for her to pull a garbage move like that.

Do what makes you happy and what is best for your son. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve somone who will love you the way you love them. Will it be better for you and him to live together and flourish or to stay in a situation that can become hostile and bitter? Children are sponges and even though he is young he can still feel the tention and feelings of those around him. Children are children and can adapt and morphe to their surroundings. It’s the adults that have a harder time adjusting.

So many things wrong. 1st…she cheated and she is making you feel at fault? HER fault NOT yours. He didn’t “come in her?” She “didn’t come”? Where did you learn reproduction? None of that MATTERS! It depends on HER ovulation days. There is a 50/50 chance it is your child. I’d kick her ass out and file for immediate full custody of your child. And do NOT get on that birth certificate of current “love child” until a test is done. YOU will be financially responsible if you’re on the certificate. Get a lawyer, keep your house, your child, your MONEY AND heart. Dump the whore. Once a cheater always a cheater. Learn to forgive but if you let this slide, you are teaching her how to treat you.

Do the DNA test child deserves it. Also it would like you child would be better in two home then in one where you guys are in a unhealthy relationship.

You have the right to know if that baby is yours. If she leaves you for demanding a DNA test, then she is bossy and too self absorbed. I’m sorry to say that about someone you love. If you really feel like you should get a DNA test, that is your right. Knowing there is literally a 50/50 chance, it’s the right call. This is literally going to be the longest and hardest part of your life. Trust is hard to gain back, been there done that. It can literally strip away who you are as a person. If you want your marriage to work, there can not be any secrets and any unknowns otherwise you’ll always have doubt and sadness.

I wish I could feel bad for him but he has allowed the disrespect. She cheated on you because you left after she emotionally cheated. She knows it’s a possibility the baby is not yours and is threatening to leave. And your excuses for staying are pathetic. Just say you are to weak to leave & let the lady cheat in peace. If I knew I could do what I want and make you in to the monster I would to! Sorry I don’t feel bad for you in fact this made me mad!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My wife cheated and is now pregnant: Advice?

Leave her then, u have a right to know if that baby is yours an if shes refusing thats a red flag, im so sorry for you

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Get a DNA test and let’s not forget to get you an STD test while your at it! You should NOT be having unprotected sex with someone who will have unprotected sex with anyone🤷🏻‍♀️That’s just plain nasty and why he’s still there baffles any mind! Run…fast and far🎉

Do it after you get your son out and continue on with your life!

You can love a child like it’s yours. There are medical reasons for a DNA the history is important

Soooo…after all she has put you through and you still stay with her and she will leave you for you wanting to know if the baby is yours? She is way too toxic

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Do the damn DNA test! Trust is already broken and you won’t be able to truly forgive her, plus it will drive you nuts if you don’t know the truth. Your son doesn’t deserve to be in a situation like that either

Leave her. She is manipulating and controlling you. It’s pretty obvious. “I did it to hurt you” “if you get a test done i will leave you”. I would also take the time to check that your original child is actually yours. It’s also gross you have unprotected sex only to somehow prove you “trust her” …