So my wife, mother of my children, high school sweetheart have been together for 5 years. She has made a full 180. She was all about living life together experiencing new things together, etc. Now she stays out all night without letting me know she has gotten off of work or where she is. Her phone is always on silent. She has unsaved numbers that she texts and i am not allowed to touch her phone. Intimacy has fallen to a zero. She doesn’t help with household duties. What should I do. I’m so lost.
I agree, talk to her and see how she’s feeling. She may be feeling stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, maybe even PPD, something you aren’t even aware of. Maybe ask her to do counseling. If that doesn’t work, you have to decide what’s best for you and the kids.
Communicate!! If she won’t, it may be time for a break. I’m not an advocate for giving up on a relation without working on it first…but one person can’t do it all. That kind of treatment is unfair. Especially, all the secrecy.
If you’re a part of a church I would speak to the person that handles Family Matters as they would probably know you both. If not try to get some personal counseling and set up a plan. Setting up a plan helps things not blow up in your face. There may be something wrong or she may just be going through a phase. The important thing is to find out the truth of the situation rather then inject jealousy or insecurity. Definitely do not discuss with family or friends at this time. Things have a way of getting back to people and making things worse before you ever have an opportunity to make them better.
Could be many things. You’ll have to ask her. Tell her what you are noticing and let her say what she needs to say. If the behavior doesn’t clean up within a certain time period, separate. If this is a deal breaker, understandibly, than walk away from the deal. You deserve to be happy too, but it may not even need to go that far, depending on what’s going on with her. Being a wife and a mother has to be her priority and that behavior shows it isn’t for some reason.
Sit her down and have a heart to heart with her. Ask her what is wrong. Communicate! Listen and REALLY listen to her. Dont interrupt. Tell her how you feel. Dont back down or let her shrug it off. With that being said dont raise your voices, talk civilly. Start setting up a date night weekly. No phones! Try couples therapy. If the funds are available try taking a small family vacation. Do not keep your phones on you! Really spend time with your family! Try everything before you throw in the towel. I hope everything works out for yall
I’m sorry you must be in terrible pain. What do your instincts tell You? That is what you need to follow, not the advice of others such as myself that carry a lot of baggage.
I’m very sorry for what your going thru. She cld be doing so many different things. Ppl automatically think she’s cheating however ppl have done the oddest things, hidden jobs, hidden alcohol abuse, hidden going to school… honestly only she can tell you. Without more information it wld be hard to day what she is doing. Has there bn any big losses in your family? You either need to get her to talk to you or find someone who can mediate for you. Good luck. I know this has to be awful.
Maybe she isn’t up too no good and she’s stressed as stress can make us do very odd things out off character try talking too her and ask her where is her head at and explain your concerns and if possible try too get too the root of the problem this maybe a process over a few weeks ECT try going out for dinner or movie I u understand we are human and we can all jump too conclusions so sometimes it’s important for open communication all the best hope it all works out for you both
Talk with her first and maybe seek counseling together. Try and get to the root of the actual problem or problems and go from there.
Do what she doing and keep it moving life to short. For the bs
Sounds like she is Cheating on you
Well I will say it. She is cheating or thinking about it. If she has one foot out the door there is nothing you can do. Take care of your kids make sure they are ok thats it.
Sound like she’s cheating. I’m sorry but I feel if it was on the other foot the assumption would automatically be him cheating. Since it’s the wife it’s just sit down and talk to her
That was me in my first marriage, I was having an affair, because I felt neglected
Find a counselor. Obviously something is going on.
She’s up to no good. Time to go
Get a new wife…you know what she doing!!!
She’s too far gone. Time to move on.
Did anything happen between you two, like an argument or anything? Anything that may have contributed (not excuse) this behavior? Has she said anything directly or indirectly perhaps about feeling confined, or needing time to herself? Have you been absent in the relationship physically due to work or emotionally? Has she shown any signs of being overwhelmed with work, home or life? Was this behavior suddenly or did it develop over time? Do you have reason to believe that she is being unfaithful?
There’s are a few important things in marriage, trust, communication and honesty. It’s important that you communicate how you feel and start to ask questions. If she’s unwilling to talk or provides evasive answers. I would suggest counseling. If she refuses then you have a few choices. You can perhaps believe that this is only a phase that she’s going through. Maybe she needs a break from parenting and her wifely duties. You could believe ( not accuse) her of cheating. In this case you would probably need to do some private investigator work on your own. In other words snoop around to see if there’s any evidence of infidelity. You know her better than anyone else. You also know what your gut feeling is telling you. Only you can find the answers that you need.
One last question, have you cheated or been unfaithful? Because if you have, based on her actions there one or two things happening. She’s either teaching you a lesson or you taught her one and she’s getting even.