Needing advice on having kids close in age

I need advice on taking care of two kids close in age. I have a 9yo, a 7mo and we just found out I’m pregnant again :woman_facepalming:. My oldest goes to my ex husband’s house every other weekend, she recently expressed to me she misses our quality time together and she needs more one on one time with me. I’ve been making more of an effort but now I’m scared she’s going to be devastated I’m pregnant again. She’s a GREAT big sister though. Huge help. I have a good support system however my mom works and my grandma is just older and they live about 45 min away from me. My biggest concern is I had a csection with both my girls and I’m so nervous about having the two youngest so close together. Anyone else have this happen? Any advice?!?!

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I have 2 that are only 11 months apart and i just had twins a year ago… its a looooooottttt of work but very doable… we do however struggle with me being able to give time to all kids especially since im also a single mom who works 10 plus hours a day 5 days a week… yes your 9 year old will feel a little upset its normal i have a 9 amd 10 year old and i hear it constantly but at the end of the day they know mommy is doing her best and they even help out a LOT everything will work itself out with some tears down the road but they will eventually be ok… just try to include your 9 year old as much as possible with diaper changes or feeding or rocking the baby as well as with your 7 month old show her a way of it being fun or making her feel like she important thru it all… good luck mamma congratulations everything will work out for the better

I have two young kids close at age 20 months apart and I have 12 years old . It fine. My oldest sometimes do play with them . My two youngest they are always together. In the bedginnng it was hard because breastfeddng and other need my attention but I had help. You will be fine. It will be a challenge but it worth it.

You got this. Take it day by day!

Devote one day a month to oldest daughter. Do something fun together just the two of you. You’ll both enjoy the quality time alone.

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2 c sections babies are 15 months apart. Its hard my now 1.5 year old feels left out a lot. However he is starting to play with his little brother

I have a 3 and 4 year old. 13 months apart. Both C sections. The healing was awful because they were so close together. A lot of overwhelm but it gets easier. Strap in and get ready for the ride! You can do it!!

My two youngest boys are exactly 12 months apart. It’s really never been a problem other than the constant wrestling lol

My girls are 17 months a apart it will quickly become your new normal and you will find your grove…as far as your oldest keep her involved with everything! Also once your feeling up to it have your husband take the baby and you and your daughter have a mom and me day :slightly_smiling_face:

My oldest was 6 months old when I found out she was going to be a big sister and I forgot how much newborns sleep! I was so full of guilt and so nervous but they are almost 3 now and 4yrs old the closeness and love they share is amazing. I was also the oldest (quite a bit older than my 5 siblings) I would just reassure your 9yr old she will still get one on one time and continue to let her know how great of a big sister she is.

My kids are 5,3,1 and 9 months take it day by day and maybe have girl time when the youngest two are asleep or even make a day out of it when she’s with you on the weekend

Our family 3 months old 3yr 4 yr them.me step children 11 and 10 it can be challenging but it worth it xx

All 4 of my boys are 2 years apart. They are best friends. It’s seems like it may be hard but us mom’s are super hero’s. We can do whatever is thrown at us. Time to yourself every now and then is Ok too!

Try to make it a habit to take each kid out once a month for one on one time with you. My dad always gave a day to my brother once a month, heck even a few times if he had the chance. However he never got into the habit with me, made me feel awkward because he never made the effort for me that he did for my older brother. It’ll work out momma, you’ll do great! Xoxo

My oldest is 2 and I just had my 3rd baby on the 12th so 3 under 3 right here and all csections I did have more complications this 3rd time around my oldest two are 19 months apart but younger two are 13 months apart it’s hard but doable I’m exhausted like no other and PPD is very real this time around for me. I got my tubes tied during my csection this time so I’m not sure if that’s why I had more issues but I stayed in the hospital for 5 days I actually had a d&c done 8 hours after my csection because of clotting so bad than I ended up with extremely sick vomiting I had a blockage of my bowels two days after birth. Not everyone has the same experiences but it definitely made me greatful I will not be having anymore because I had zero complications with my older two then my last one it was just complication after complication after I gave birth.

I have a same situation. A 9 year old and 2 year old and 8 month old. I felt terrible. But remembered she got all my undivided time. Where as the other 2 will never get that. My 9 year old is a huge help too. But eventually I got the 2 littles on a nap schedule together so for that one nap its for me and her. And we do things just me and her. She goes to her dads every other weekend as well. I believe once my youngest is older and playing with the toddler my hands will be less full. I just told her to hang in there with me! We watch movies together that I liked as a kid. Color. Play board games. Do crafts.

Ask her for a list of things she thinks qualify as quality time with you then schedule it every couple weeks or so, depending on what it is. Sometimes it’s quick things like playing a game, which can be done fairly quickly while dad manages the other two kids for a few minutes or during nap time. I would also leave her little notes reminding her how special and loved she is.

Mine are 16 months apart. It was crucial for me to get and keep them both on the same schedule and routine. Once you get that down, the hardest part is dividing your time. When the NB is sleeping spend some time with your other 2, make sure they’re not feeling ignored, it’s a big adjustment for them as well. When both babies nap you could spend some one on one with your oldest, play a game or do something she likes.

My second and third are 13 months apart. It is tiring and hard to do one on one. My oldest is 9. Then my other two are 4 and 3 both boys. It’s getting easier but I’ve never been so exhausted haha. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Take it one day at a time and accept any help.

I have a 8 year old and my 2 younger ones are 13 months apart. Both c- sections, you will adjust! You’ve got this! I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest. It all worked out just taking it day by day. Now I’m pregnant with my 4th. :flushed::grinning:

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