Okay, mamas. I have an almost eight year old son. He’s got some behavioral issues. I’m currently caught in the “monkey see monkey do” issue. I am a yeller. And it seems that that has rubbed off on my son. He’s getting angry tones of voices when frustrated, yelling at other students, and just being rude. I’m not above spanking some butt, but that worries me that he will eventually have an issue with keeping his hands to himself. I’m just kinda lost at how to handle this. I’m doing my best to keep stern voices but not raising my voice. I know it takes some time to reverse this, but I’m looking for some discipline that will stick.
Time outs, loosing favourite toys/games, plan something big for the weekend then take it away when he is naughty, he can earn it back by being good
So… act how you want him to act?
Take away everything but a mattress, pillow, blanket, & school books
Ultimately, if they dont follow rules, they end up in jail, so put him in jail~ at home. Grounding works! Do it! From a phone, video game, friends over, nights out. Do it & make it stick. No need to yell, behave or lose your “freedoms”. Just that easy. Start small, & work your way up. Then he earns things back. By doing chores, helping out, changing his behavior. & set a time limit, a week, or 2 weeks if its "bad’. & offer “early release” for good behaviors.
We favor time outs and taking tablets/games. However we also show our appreciation when our kids do something positive. A simple thanks for listening or thanks for following the rules, thanks for cleaning up the mess, etc.
Cut screen time down… take items away… make a deal n make sure they know the rules
- Stop yelling at a child with behavior issues
- Try some form of therapy
- You be the example he needs in his life
He would lose all privileges. He knows better and thinks that he can do it anyway. This happens a lot with children around this age. The thought that, at school, they can do whatever because the teacher wont do anything. Tell the teacher(s) that he has silent lunch and no recess. At home, take it all away. Once he feels those consequences, he will stop.
Learn a way to speak to him that’s not yelling. It doesn’t seem to be effective.
No more yelling. Buy two packs of tic tacs. You give him one and keep the other for yourself. When you have a disagreement you both reach for your tic tacs. Let 1-3 depending on the degree of the argument, dissolve on your tongue before speaking. Give yourself and him to have space and grace for your emotions. We yell when we 1. Feel out of control 2. Feel we are not being heard. In a moment of peace, tell him “ mommy hates when she yells and screams at you, because I feel that you aren’t listening and I’m afraid that the choices you’re making could get you hurt. I love you and I want you to be safe. So, the next time I feel like this we are going to take a tic tac break, so we both can be heard. I have done this with bosses, employees and even my own children and it works. When my assistant sees me pop a tic tac she knows that we all need to calm down. I call it space and grace time.
Stand in corner, take privileges away, and if all else fails then resort to spanking
Sit in a chair, in the middle of the room. Have him copy the dictionary or Readers Digest. Do not spank. I would put away all electronics. Give him extra attention.
Spank his butt, an explain why your doing it. Also explain that regardless if you raise your voice at him for miss behavior or yell at him it’s because he needs to know what he is doing wrong but when you spank him also explain the whoopin an yelling YOU do does not mean he can because your the adult an he is the child, yelling an hollering at adults will get your but whoopd
Discipline bad behaviour, but also make sure you are reinforcing good behaviour. Praise him when he is respectful and uses a calm voice.
The whole punishment/rewards system doesn’t work very well, especially with behavioural issues, and spanking is just going to make his aggression so much worse. I’d recommend anger management or therapy for you, so you can work on the deep-seeded reason for why you are a yeller, and to find your own coping strategies for when you are feeling frustrated so you can set a better example for your child.
Also, Gentle Parents Unite is an amazing group with so many references and tips on positive and gentle discipline.
If you have a good size yard or can follow him around the block I was made to run laps if I was disobeying my parents. Or any physical labor. Also vinegar for back talk or disrespect
Time outs, corners, taking toys,adding a chore to his chore list when misbehaving, in extreme situations like when my godson hit another student took all of his things from his room and he had to sit in there and stare at a wall the whole day or read a book the only options I gave him
Google positive parenting solutions. It will cut out the yelling from both of you.
I’m in the same boat with my 8 year old son. Nothing works. Talking to him, yelling, grounding, rewards, taking everything away except his bed, smacking his butt, it dosent work so we have made a counseling appointment. Hopefully this will help
When he yells , just look the other way, tell him he’s yelling, I’m not talking to a teller.