Does anyone else struggle with knowing if they want to be a mom or not? I have an 11-month-old boy; I love him. But sometimes I don’t want to be a mom; I wish I had my old life back (it wasn’t lavish or anything, I just had freedom). My son has been described as a “unicorn” baby; he sleeps 12 hrs a night, hardly ever cries, and is always happy! Yet I am still having a hard time, and would rather he play by himself than interact with him. When I try to interact with him, I lose interest so quickly; I am worried he isn’t getting enough stimulation and will fall behind. I don’t feel like I am a bad mom, but I don’t think I am a good mom. My husband works 12 hr shifts, so he is gone a lot. We moved to a new city while pregnant for his work, I know very few people here, and the family is multiple hrs away. I start work at the end of this month and I am very excited about my new job, but it is causing a lot of stress around childcare because of the atypical hours. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s worth it.
Many moms feel this way… U are not alone…
Many of us feel this way, but if it does get in the way please talk to ur dr you could have undiagnosed postpartum depression once I got antidepressant mine is starting to get better
Definitely not alone in that feeling!
The first year is always the hardest, because of how dependent babies are on you. It may not be so much that you don’t want to be a mom, as it is you need some time to yourself to recharge. It’s extremely important to take care of yourself, so you are in a healthy place to take care of your family. I hope it gets better.
I feel like you may have some depression . Do you work outside the home ? Do you go to the gym ? These things will help you . I am a gramma now but i didnt enjoy the early baby years of motherhood . Too much dependence on me . But as they got older i loved it . Now i miss it .
My youngest are 15. I have twins and I still feel that way sometimes
Your mind and body have gone through so much. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It will absolutely be worth it, you just have to push through the hard parts. You sound like a young mom who’s in an unfamiliar place with not much support. Maybe try finding mom groups on Facebook, you’d be surprised how many women have open arms and are going through the same situation. Or maybe seeing a doctor could be beneficial? Sometimes the chemical imbalance in our brains cause us to feel and think things and we have no control over it no matter what we do. You won’t be the first person to feel like this and you won’t be the last. Hang in there.
Alot of new moms go through this and its most likely post partum depression. You should talk to you obgyn about how you feel withdrawn. Its very very common. Post partum can last a few years not just months. As long as you reach out for help youre doing the right thing. If you can get a sitter there do it at least once a week and go do things just for you! You deserve it!
Don’t be to hard on yourself. Every mother faces these thoughts and feelings. Post-partum plays a lot into it and can last a while. Especially when you made an already life change by moving to a place where you don’t know many people. Job hours… you already have stress to begin with.
I have 4 children and all under 10. I know exactly what you mean because sometimes I play the, “what if” in my head from time to time. It’s okay but as for the baby, I would think of the moment I had them. What it felt like… the creation that myself and significant other had done and feel such happiness. Yes, I could’ve gone another route but, knowing that I’ve given life to something so beautiful over powers those thoughts.
You’re not just a mother but a woman with feelings. You’re more than that. You can still do things you wanted to do before that child. You just gotta give more to someone else. It’s stressful but you can do it. Take that baby with you and reconnect.
You can do it.
I suggest finding a counselor. You wouldn’t want this to affect your son. He will feel this disinterest and it will cause it’s emotional damage if you don’t get some help with it. Good luck.
I would talk to your dr it could be post partum depression.
Sounds like post partum depression… This can last for up to 3 years… Maybe you need a break to miss the baby… Get away for 4 hours and the baby will be all you think about… Sometimes, i think every mom goes through this in a way… You wake up tired, exhausted, and just not really wanting to do anything… Talk to a counselor if it gets worse… Definetly get a baby sitter for 4 hours, go out, get your freedom back… I know for a fact you’ll miss your baby… You must be a stay at home mom…
we have all been through it. i have 3 kids and still think about it. life could be so much easier without kids. but at the end of the day i love them. but watch yourself. it could be post partum depression as well. you do need to find a job at least part time to get out of the house and have adult stimulation and you will also gain friends from it. it gets hard being home alone with a baby all day. I’ve done it. in a city with nobody i know around as well. mentally it drives you nuts. we all need adult interactions.
Sorry but u should of thought about that before having a child 🤷and I DNT understand how any one could feel that way but that’s me
I’m a stay at home mom prior I worked 2 jobs had a fun social life and now its total opposite. I love the kids but some days I just want my old life back. Just take some alone time or something to help you recharge. It will also help you are going back to work. Being away will help you miss the baby!!!
Please get help. Sounds like post pardum depression. Prayers you will be better soon.
I had no one …each and everytime I had a child. I thought SUPPORT. Turned to taking everything I lived for.
U might have post partum depression
Totally understandable. Hopefully your new job will make a difference , make you feel more independent