Sex has been painful since I gave birth: Advice?

I had a traumatic delivery. On my practice pushes, before the doctor arrived in the room, I pushed my babies head out. In a panic, the nurse pushed him back inside, causing me to tear. I suffered fourth-degree tears, tearing off my labia, and had to have 26 stitches total. My SO said he is convinced that she added a “husband stitch” because it was so incredibly tight that we could not even fit a pinky finger in without stretching me and causing discomfort. The first two times having sex two months postpartum (I got the okay from two different OB doctors after I started birth control and got my exam done. My stitches were all healed and dissolved) was extremely painful. The second time around, I ended up tearing and bleeding heavily for about 10 minutes. After that, the entrance opened up, and I think the “husband stitch” ripped. It was instant relief. However, I am 3 months, almost four months postpartum, and sex is so painful. It is enjoyable once we get going; the entrance is the worst part, no matter how much lube is used. I have an extremely high pain tolerance. Every single time after sex I gush blood for about 5 minutes. Has any other mamas experienced this? Any advice? I completely understand sex may never feel the same again, but this seems to be too much.

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You need to see a pelvic floor physical therapist

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Sex isnt supposed to hurt. See a dr

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I didn’t experience this, but this sounds terrible! I’m so sorry!

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I would talk to a new obgyn at a new practice for help with the physical aspect of this and a lawyer for the damage caused to you and the dangerous and potentially life threatening for baby actions of that “nurse”!

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First of all is your baby ok?? The nurse should not bave pushed the baby back in!


See a dr. It should not cause you to bleed and it should not hurt.

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I had something similar but not as severe. There was a lot of scar tissue in there that was causing the pain for 8 months post partum. I would talk to your OB and ask for referral to pelvic floor PT!

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This is just gross. Go see a doctor


She…pushed the baby back in? Wtf? She shouldn’t be a nurse! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I think you need a pelvic floor therapist.


Oh my word I hope that you plan to sue the hospital for the nurse who did that. And it sounds to me like you need to work with a sex therapist. You are still healing from the trauma of the birth. Even if the physical injury is healed every time your hubby is entering you are still experiencing the pain of the nurse pushing baby bask in. And I think your stuck shut due to that. You should go to a urologist too and make sure you don’t have any internal issues including a prolapse of bladder or uterus. I’m so sorry but it sounds just horrific to have to go through that anytime you have sex. I will be praying that it gets rectified.


Definitely talk to someone about it. Maybe find something that you can massage the area prior to being intimate with your hubby, see if it helps relax that part and not tear

I had a 4th degree laceration but only 12 stitches. So first ouch momma holy fuck balls! Secondly I couldn’t have sex until I was 12weeks pp, used a ton of lube and still tore a little. Doctor showed the ol man a couple of “messages” to try and help my muscle relax

I’m more concerned and shocked that the nurse PUSHED THE BABY BACK IN?! :scream: it’s no wonder you’ve suffered the way you have!!!


Same here with the pain, never stopped for 5 years so far, hoping a tubal will help bring everything to normal again. I have mirena and not sure if that messed everything up

See a different practice than who stitched you for a visit with a doctor


You need to call your doctor and if they say it is fine then find another doctor. Sex shouldn’t be that painful and their shouldn’t be any amount of blood


I had issues with tearing and a poor stitch job. I finally tore about an inch after a year of painful sex. My doc told me the surgery to repair the large tear was not covered by my insurance because it is considered cosmetic. To be honest though I am glad the pain is gone but feel bad for the husband. I hope you get some sort of relief soon.

Have you talked to your doctor? You shouldn’t bleed like that after sex

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You need to get yourself to a dr