So my husband and I both work 40 hours a week. We both have decently straining jobs. His more physical mine more mental. He believes we should split the bills 50/50, and we do—half on electric, gas, lease, car, down to the grocery bill. The problem is, he barely does any housework. I’m usually the one staying up on my days off to clean everything and running around after work to keep it that way. When our son has a difficult time sleeping, I’m usually the one that stays up with him whether I have off the next day or he does. I stay up with him and try to get him to sleep; I am usually taking care of most of his needs. Now my question is if he wants it to be 50/50 down the middle for bills, should it also be 50/50 on the house chores, and how should I approach him about him stepping up more in his son’s life? Stepping up more in the house duties, without some drastically displayed argument? TYIA.
If he’s demanding you pay half of the bills he better help with half the cooking and housework. Period.
If both of you work then both of you should be doing your share of the housework
I would just simply say. Listen I have no problem doing 50/50 with Bill’s but if we go that route then I need more help around the house and with son. If you’d rather me keep doing house then let’s do 60/40 or 70/30 bill… it doesnt need to a fight. State it respectfully and see how he responds.
He should definitely be helping around the house and with the child he helped make. My husband works 80 hours a week in a plant with no air conditioning. I work 30 hrs a week from home and take care of our child. He will still help me clean the house, do laundry, and whatever other chores need doing. Why? Because he lives here, too. His words. Your husband needs to step up.
I don’t work. I stay home with our 4 kids. My husband comes home daily (mechanic) and helps with chores, and sometimes even dinner… his kids and home also. He honestly prefers helping with the kids after work because he misses them all day.
Yep he wants to do 50/50 that means EVERYTHING…house work, tending to kids
Get a house keeper, if he complains, tell him to start pitching in
Get a housekeeper once a week and split that bill with him.
Make a chore chart like you would with children… Days when you cook, days when he cooks, who does the sweeping, the night time wake up calls etc… Approach him with it already made up and tell him, that you need a little bit of help as you’re finding it difficult to do everything, he either likes it or he doesn’t, hopefully he will go ahead and start helping… A lot of men are rubbish at forward thinking, they just see us getting on with things and think we love constantly cleaning and cooking, until it’s writing in front of them xxx
All our money in our household goes together. We pay what needs paid then spend and save what is needed. And for kids we split it up. Some days I’m exhausted from work so he does it and some days he’s exhausted so I do it. We split the house work the same. Who ever gets to it gets to it but it always gets done by one of us and ends up being about 50/50
We dont necessarily do 50/50, we are a team. Where one of us is lacking the other pulls more of the weight. I have a mentally strenuous job and my husband is out in the elements all day. If it’s super hot I don’t expect him to come home and stand in front of the grill. If I have a migraine he takes care of dinner. If a spouse is demanding everything be 50/50 then make sure it’s all 50/50. If my husband were demanding 50/50 oh you bet I’d have charts to quantify it all! Lol
Be an adult and sit him down and talk to him about it. It’s simple. If you both agree that everything should be split down the middle, that should extend beyond just the bills. It should extend to your child and household chores. If you’re worried about who does what, make yourself an adult chore list. He cooks, you clean up dinner. He sweeps and mops while you vacuum. You was and dry laundry, he folds and puts away. Or any variation of that. Figure out what works for your household because obviously what’s going on now isn’t working. As for your child, you made him together, you should take care of him together. Set a schedule for that too. If he’s in diapers, alternate who is on diaper duty every other day. Alternate every other day who is up with him, who makes his meals, who puts him to bed etc.
when u get married 2 people become 1 as in 50/50 went out the door 🤷 you both should do not just 1 pays bills or live there both do its both of your home prayers to you both
You shouldn’t even need to ask if he cares
Do people actual split bills with their spouses?
In our house all income is shared and bills are paid from our joint account regardless of who earns what
As for household chores and parenting our roles are slightly “unconventional” as in he does most the cleaning and I do the home repairs and such, with the parenting we seem to share it seamlessly where the person the child comes to handles it or whoever is not busy at that moment does
All our money goes into 1 account and I pay all the necessary Bill’s with whatever is in there… we also always make big purchase decisions together. It’s all his income that comes in also.
Yep. He needs to get off his ass and help. And seriously out of common courtesy if he has the next day off and you don’t he should be up with kid.
I think bill wise 50/50 is good. I think you should talk to him nicely and just ask if he can start helping around the house more. Do you guys have a yard? If you do, maybe he could be in charge of the yardwork if you do. That’s the system we have set up at my house. We pay 50/50 bills - just since we don’t have a joint account yet but will be getting one shortly with our LO on the way (other than our car payments + car insurance since they are different plans/policies), I clean + do our laundry, but he maintains the yard and does the grilling when we eat on the grill. This system works the best for us.
Your married!! Everything should be combined.