Should family dicatate who comes to a childs birthday party?

The question to everyone about Birthday parties, you do let your family decide who you can and can not invite to your children’s parties… I was adopted when I was 15yrs old after being in and out of foster care. My adoptive parents always made it clear that I was just part of the package so they could get my younger siblings. My adoptive parents have always had an issue with anyone from my previous life (before them). I have always decided who I can and can’t have at my children’s party. Saying they won’t come if I invite so and so… I have always just bowed down to them and not invited that person. Well, now my biological dad, who I have not had contact with since I was 8yrs old due to my junkie of a mother, has recently contacted me in May of this yr. I have taken things slowly with him as far as introducing him to my kids. They met him back in Sept have been great, we spent Christmas and thanksgiving together this yr and I let him meet my boys. Well, my son, has a birthday coming up and I want to invite because he has been very good to us and my kids just love him. Do I invite him or just let my adoptive parents control my kid’s birthday? I don’t want to make him feel like he isn’t good enough to be at his, but I also don’t want my adoptive parents to feel like they are being pushed aside. My adoptive family parents barely contact me, and my dad texts me every day. I feel like this would be like drawing a line in the sand, and I will have to choose a side…


Let the birthday girl choose who comes… if she’s 15 …

Your party your choice. If they want to be petty n not come then fuck them. That’s not on you.

It sounds like your adoptive parents have already chosen their side and that wasn’t you. If they truly loved you, they’d put up with whoever to be apart of your life.


Your adoptive parents sound toxic. Invite your dad.


Screw that. Your kids party you are the mom. Clearly if they are that immature you don’t want them around anyways. Idk why this is even a debate. YOUR kids party.


The parents are the ones who should decide who to invite. Until the child is older.

You need to do what makes you comfortable not your adoptive parents. This is about you and your children.

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Let the child with the birthday choose. If your adoptive parents cant put aside their feelings then that is their problem and you and your children dont need that in your life.

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You are an adult with your own family now. You invite whoever you want. If your adoptive parents really have a problem with it, that’s their problem, not yours. Your only goal is to make that kids birthday a special day full of love and fun.


Invite both and if your adoptive parents chose not to come because your dad is going to be there, then that’s on them. Dont feel guilty because they want to be childish.


Don’t tell them, it’s none of their business who you invite and if they show up and don’t like it then it’s on them.

My mom was like this, I was adopted by my step-dad and lied to for 18 yrs til I went to get my birth certificate to get married.

When I got in contact with my bio- siblings and dad my mom flipped.

If they can’t understand then screw them, it’s your life.

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Invite him! It’s none of their business.


Also people should never do that. If they don’t come, that’s their choice!

You’re the mom, invite your dad if you and the kids want him there.

if your father is trying and ur kids accepted him please give him a chance sometimes its better late then never he was younger back then sounds to me he had regrets and is tryng to make up the lost time at least he is in your kids life im sorry id invite him let your adopted parents know he is coming that way they can decide whether your son important enough to be there cause in reality its about the child not them 🤷

Your adoptive parents sound like narcissistic assholes. Screw them. If you want your bio dad at YOUR child’s birthday party, then invite him. If your adoptive parent’s say they won’t go say “well, I’m sorry to hear your choosing to miss out on childs birthday.” Personally, I wouldn’t invite them at all because of their attitude at all of that.

I feel like if they cant be mature enough to suck it up for their grandson there is no need for them there.

You do whatever you want.

Why would grandparents have a say over who comes to their grandkids party?
Its your child you set that up.