"My son is 8, will be 9 in a few months; he is always running around the house in my heels, watching YouTube videos of boys doing their makeup, dancing around the house, he’s made some comments about a boy being cute or something, or he couldn’t like that boy because that boy already has a boyfriend.
I have never questioned him because I honestly don’t care, it doesn’t bother me one way or the other on his sexuality, and so many people tell me, ‘oh, he’s just a little boy; its a phase he will outgrow it.’
My question is, he just called me while I was at work to ask me if his grandma (my mom) could buy him some fake nails that he wears around the house but will take them off for school, so his friends don’t make fun of him.
I am torn. Is this something I allow and go with the flow or don’t allow and try to encourage him more towards ‘manly’ things?!? Our society sucks, and I don’t want him to be hurt emotionally or physically by his friends or classmates; I already see the day he is going to bring his boyfriend home, and that’s fine with me; that’s his choice later on. I am just not sure what to do."
RELATED QUESTION: Can a 12 year old for sure know their sexual orientation?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“I would allow him to wear fake nails at home if he wants. I would allow my son to if that’s what he wanted. Just love and support him and let him find his identity in the way he wants to.”
“I wouldn’t let my son or daughter wear fake nails at that age - only because it wrecks the nail - I’m assuming it’s the ones you glue on - why don’t you just let him paint his nails - that way he can try different colours and experiment doing it himself, but without all the difficulties of taking off the glued nail!”
“Would you let your daughter at that age? If no because it’s an age thing, maybe try painting them instead. If you answered yes, then yes you should let him express himself.”
“'d let him explore what he’s comfortable with on his own. If that’s what he wants to do, I’d allow it. This just builds confidence for the future. Support him and he will find all the strength he needs to deal with society’s criticism. Remember, there will always be someone out there who disagrees or doesn’t understand. You are a great mother! You already know what to do and what is best.”
“I say go for it. Let him express himself at home. There’s too many in this world that wouldn’t let him do it anywhere else. Help him grow up learning who he is and what he likes or doesn’t like. Raise him to fix his own crown in a world that will tear you apart no matter what you think or how you feel! Just my opinion.”
“The fact that you’re so accepting, is amazing. Even he notices it since he’s asking you… you’ve built that trust with him that one day if he does come out he’ll have a safe place/person to do so. I just want to say you’re doing a great job.”
“Our society sucks but you don’t have to! Why are you so conflicted on making him happy? Screw everyone else. If he likes girly things he likes girly things, there’s no changing it. Kids are mean, they’ll find something to laugh at regardless.”
“You sound like a wonderful mom. And as he grows up he will be happy that you support him and love him. Press-ons can damage your natural nails. So I say paint them.”
“Gonna be a No for me but you do what you think is best for your child. My personal opinion at that age is that he shouldn’t be allowed to watch makeup tutorials or apply any makeup or wear your heels around the house or be encouraged to wear fake nails. To each their own though.”
“Let him buy the nails, and wear them wherever he wants. You’re right, the world is prob not gonna be great to him, but you can be!”
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