Please post anonymously. My friend has a 5 yr son whose father has been absent from his life except for when he was two until he was 3. At 3, he told her that he didn’t have the patience to deal with him. He doesn’t pay child support, nor does he even call/text to check on his child. The father’s family has only been around for two birthday parties and nothing else. They had never expressed interest in being in his life until a couple of days ago when the grandma asked my friend if her son could come over to spend Father’s Day with them. My friend explained that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea because she doesn’t want her son to face any emotional damage from the father and his family being inconsistent in his life. The only thing her son says about his father is that he wishes he would take him fishing. He doesn’t ask where he is or says that he misses him. Is she wrong for not wanting to let her son spend the day with family that he doesn’t even know?
This sounds like a duh moment … no you dont send a child to a stranger even biological its still strangers and you just dont do that to a child shes definitely in the right if they showed interest outta no where and took slow steps to befriend them and like slowly get to know him and he knows them maybe but no not strangers off a random interest
I don’t think she’s wrong at all, why put the baby through that if they wanted to be in his life they would have
Never put s child in that position …if you were there that’s different but you don’t drop a five year old off with a bunch a strangers …that’s like throwing the stranger danger rule out the window
This relationship has to start somewere regardless . SO WHO IS GOING BE THE BETTER ADULT .
Heck no! Do not allow them any unsupervised visits until they’ve a proper relationship plus a court order. You wouldn’t drop your kid to a random house of people neither of you know so why would you do it just because they are blood. He doesn’t know them. Say you can meet in a mutual place for an hour but you will be staying with him. Its really odd after 2 years they randomly want him for a day. Red flag completely
That would be a big NO for me. If they want to visit and make an effort that’s fine. But no I wouldn’t send my kid over there. Not until they showed some honest consistency. My husbands dad and step mom love to see our girls(2 and 3)if we take them over there but never call and check on them or ask to see them. They see them only on a holiday for a couple hours. They have even been here to our house but didn’t come in and didn’t even ask to see the girls. I’d never just take them over there and drop them off. My husband has a strained relationship with his mother but she makes the effort to see the girls a few times a week as well as my family does.
The relationship has to start somewhere. These people are reaching out, I would jump on that if it meant my child knowing more of his family! However I would not drop and run. I would counter back with “WE would love to come spend a couple hours visiting! Would you like me to bring anything along with us?”
It is not the grandma’s fault the father is a dick…and a child should be given the opportunity to get to know them!
Way to much too soon. I would sugest a lunch at my sons fav restaurant or park if areas are open due to Covid. Or they can meet at my sons home for short period for a start. Then they can get to know each other and take it from their.
This exactly my story. I wish I would of seen these comments 15 years ago. My son is emotionally damaged and they just come and go when they please… his entire side of his father side done absolutely nothing. One one thing out of a year if that. He go over there once in awhile and they try to have him around on holidays smh when there are 365 in a year. Don’t do it
If she’s there too it’s fine. Not alone.
Dont do it. Because all that needs to happen is for dad to come back and unless she has full custody of child and dad has no legal or physical custody. He can with hold the child from her until court. It will be messy and heart wrenching
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No i wouldn’t, maybe if your willing to go too (mom) then that might work. But would not abandon my child with people he doesnt know. Be firm. Even courts wouldn’t allow this.
The best would be start lunch dates at Peter piper or the park. The child has to know who they are and the mom should feel comfortable enough to know who these people are before she lets her child go with them. But it’s great that the grandma wants to be a part of her grandchild even if the dad doesn’t.
Probably not… Or maybe suggest she bring the chd over to visit but she stays as well. So he is not uncomfortable and she can monitor the situation.
Too little too late in my opinion
Maybe invite them to do something you all are able to do together so he can meet them but he is not alone. My sons father was absent but his family would invite US to events so they could see him
It’s a diffecuilt one. Will your son be emotionally disturbed if he found out you denied him the right to see his gran. In yrs to come. So you must weigh the situation up yourself. But of course don’t leave him alone with anyone until your comfortable
No way and if tries need be supervised sense hasn’t been present. I have a almost25 yr old daughter and her dad walked away because wasn’t getting his way last time saw her she was between 3and 5 preschool age and now almost 25 and she will tell her dad off if she’s there was only one member kept contact until passed few yrs ago fell I’ll few yrs back