Probably overreacting, but with no family or friends close to vent to, my brain overthinks a lot of things… 12 months ago, a female my partner works with passed on an absolutely disgusting and vulgar video to him. I found out about it, and then he tells me he added her on FB. If she was someone that was a friend of mine as well instead of some random he works with and she had sent it to me as well, it’d be a completely different story but the fact that she isn’t, and I have never even spoken to this woman I see it as overstepping a boundary that shouldn’t be. When I voiced my dislike of the situation, my partner claimed that I was jealous and she’s nothing to worry about because she’s “one of the boys.” Now I find out most of the crew he works with are all cheating on their partners or taking inappropriately to other females that all work at the same place, and yet I’m not allowed to voice my opinion that I dislike these people and don’t want to hear about the disgusting behavior of them when he talks about it. Am I overreacting, or is it unacceptable behavior?
Yeah that would rub me the wrong way too
Just be glad he is telling you.
Yep’ Be very concerned!
If it makes you uncomfortable and you say something and he brushes it off you need to think about your relationship. If the shoe was on the other foot and it was your male coworker who did it to you and he showed concern how would you respond? How would he react to your response? If I don’t like my spouse doing something I think on how he would feel if I did the same thing and I ask him. Usually shuts it down pretty quickly
He told you, he could have kept to himself about it.
Was the vulgar video of her?
No your not overreacting! It’s a huge red flag. You see it obviously. He needs to respect that.
No, you are not overreacting. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with them being Facebook friends after she sent him something vulgar. No one can tell you how you’re supposed to feel about this. Your opinion is valid!
Men tell you so they seem trust worthy and can say “Would I have told you about her if something was going on?” They will also discuss other men who cheat negatively so you think they wouldn’t. Trust your gut.
If it was a vulgar video of her then you’re definitely not over reacting if it was just some random vulgar video then there’s other things I would
Consider. Is your partner the only one she sent it to or did all the “boys”, is he always honest as far as you know or have you had concerns in the past. There’s a few things that would make a difference to how I reacted anyway x
They’re messing around
I’d straight up delete and block her from his Facebook/insta/SC etc.
You’ve voiced your concerns about this woman and he brushed it off like it was nothing. It takes a LOT for some peoppe to open up about their insecurities and he didnt show one bit of care. So simply remove her. If shes nothing, he will barely notice or care. If theres sonething more, he’s likely to get mad/fight about it.
I used to work in a manufacturing plant and it was the same thing. It’s just the way people are in those situations. I would personally send her a friend request. If she accepts then no worries. If not, then I might start questioning things.
Your husband should be able to have friends that aren’t your friend I mean they are his co-workers I assume your coworker Don’t add him when they add you
No you’re not over reacting. I was in a similar situation with my husband. When split up for a year and during that time he befriend a woman at the dog park. They spent every day together with the dogs and occasionally they would spend time together at each other’s homes. When we got back together the friendship continued and we all spent time together but I saw some red flags it wasn’t on his end it was how she acted towards him. Her body language her little comments but the breaking point was the videos she sent him often. This woman would send him porn videos that were either nasty or funny but it made me uncomfortable. He would show me what she would send him and I told him it made me uncomfortable and that he should tell her how it made me feel which he did and she never sent him another inappropriate video again. They don’t spend time together anymore and only once in a blue moon talk. If your partner respects you he will put her in her place you just have to voice your opinion.
If I was you I would talk to her and tell her to stay away from him… It would have been over with the video the fact that you’re telling him and he’s reacting like that to keep her around should tell you something…
I sure would not curb him from talking about fellow employees. At least you will know what is going on when he isn’t home. Adding her to FB is a concern. Are you on FB? Easier to see posts if you are. Drop in where he works and see what kind of vibes you get.
Nope, be concerned about your partner.