Should I be concerned with what my son was looking up on his phone?

He about to be 15 and you haven’t talked to him yet? You need to talk to him. Also I would take the phone. You pay for it, he knows you check it. Anything on My cell phones, is my business. My kids are just barrowing it. If they want to look at things, thats on them. Get a book, use someone elses 🤷 They better be better at getting away with it then i am at finding out. :joy:
That being said sex is a 100% open topic with my kids. If they have a question, I answer it age appropriate. My oldest is 17 and mt youngest is 5. So yes, age appropriate matters. They all know they can come to me anytime.

Have a open discussion with him involving sex and it is normal to look at that stuff but also let him be aware that sex isn’t like it is in the media and he shouldn’t think girls are going to look how they do in movies and what he sees online because watching porn can lead to those thoughts try to make it that he can come to you with any questions he may have in that area I mean he will feel a bit upset you went through his phone but you are paying the bill and he is too young to have freedom of the internet in his hands unsupervised but that’s my advice

Just be open and honest with him. Don’t make a big deal out of it this is all a natural curiosity for teenagers. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and make sure he understands what’s appropriate and what isn’t and that he can come to you with any questions he has.

My son did the same he said he didn’t know what it was but he def did as he messaged back but I blocked that person had long talk and I check more often and have a block on certain sites

Porn is perfectly normal. Dont take his phone but you or better another man needs to sit down and talk to him about it. It’s ok to look at and to experiment with his own body.

I literally JUST went through this EXACT same thing with my 13 year old son, (he’ll be 14 in November) I bit my tongue to prevent freaking out on him (everything in me wanted to take his phone away and ground him until he’s 18 … lol) what I did was have the talk, we discussed the reasons why his actions were inappropriate, he of course promised me it would not happen again and I explained that until I feel that he can handle the use of his phone appropriately that I would be placing parental controls on his device… :woman_shrugging:t3: the Internet can be a very scary place for a curious teenager and if he has questions I’d rather have him feel comfortable talking to me… I am also a single mom btw, so it just makes all of this even more difficult …

I would have a talk with him about what is appropriate and that it’s natural to be curious however looking at porn is not ok. Because you never had the talk or expectations you shouldn’t punish him but let him understand that the next time their will be consequences. You cannot buy porn until you are an adult for a reason. Developing teens especially boys do not have the tools to keep porn in check and unfortunately it’s easily accessible. There has been a significant rise in teen and adult porn addiction and trust me you don’t want that for your son. Honest and open communication even though uncomfortable really helps teen navigate this confusing time. You can have rules and boundaries without shaming him or making it seem likely sex is this taboo thing. We limit things all the time for our kids based on age and this is no different. Explaining why you don’t want him looking at porn is the first step and leave it open for him to question your reasons.

You shouldn’t take his phone because you’re basically punishing him for going through puberty. Also, his phone isn’t the last device on this earth. He will find another way to look at it. The best thing that you can do is talk to him. Educate him on sex. No need to be uncomfortable because it’s a normal and natural part of life. Explain that he should wait for the right person but also educate and provide protection for him just in case. I’ve never met a person who actually got permission from their parents to have sex. He’s going to do it whether you want him to or not. Warn him of the dangers and potential consequences he may face by choosing to engage in sexual activity. I completely understand what you’re going through because I have a son who is now 23 years old. You cannot be everywhere and see everything that your son does. Remember how it was at that age? You may not have been sexually active but you had friends or classmates who were. Several of mine were pregnant in middle school. Make it easy for your son to come to you about this so that he isn’t forced to lie or sneak around. Alot of the girls in school who ended up pregnant because they couldn’t openly discuss sex with their parents and couldn’t get protect for fear of their parents finding it. Educating him and giving him protection is the best way to handle it.

Talk straight forward as an one adult to another. Make sure you are not embarrassed yourself talking about this subject.

Have the talk with him. Be open and honest but also be informative. When I caught my son I had the talk with him and also discussed legal porn (although not moral it was legal) and illegal porn (because what if he was to search for porn for his age group, not thinking anything about child porn and the laws). I also asked if he would prefer to read a book about puberty versus having the embarrassing talk with his mom. They do have age appropriate books on puberty. He preferred the books but i told him if he had any questions to ask me, not google.

It’s completely normal. Don’t mortify him into thinking it’s shameful. Be open. The tell should’ve been a while ago but it’s never too late

It’s definitely a teen boy thing to be curious about that. Even some teen girls are doing the same. I know my 16 yr old was curious about all that at the same age as well and probably still is. I don’t think taking his phone is a good thing. Then you are basically saying sex is bad. Instead, explain that porn gives people unrealistic expectations of sex, that what is shown in videos and what happens in real life isn’t the same. I’d also take the time to explain to him not to ever send inappropriate pics of himself or ask for them from someone else. Himself and or the other person could be charged with child porn since he is underage.

We are all curious thats why most people use google. Just talk to him, tell him everything he wants to know and probably a few things he doesnt. Let him know that you understand that he is getting older and other kids his age maybe younger are talking about sex and porn but he is his own person. He needs to know sex has responsible that he isnt ready for. Like birth control std and that now he has to think twice before just kissing a girl, i had this talk with my nephew (who is 19). If he does get with a girl, he needs to know that alot of things could go wrong even if she agreed when it was in the moment or when it was just them. She could regret the choice, he need to know that stuff. And thats why he can talk to you about this cause you want him to be safe and understand that sex is more than just sex… Its alot.

Please talk to him. It’s embarrassing, you don’t have to mention that you found it, but just have a generalized sex talk, realistic expectations for sex and that real sex isn’t always like porn, and this could be a great time to discuss female anatomy and talk about periods and contraceptives. Don’t make the talk heavy, make it light and educational and include ways to protect himself and others from STI’s.

Def have the talk with him. He is gonna act like he don’t know what you are talking about but still continue. Make sure he knows.

I would not bring up what you found I would ask him if he if he has any question about sex and if no let him you all are available for any questions he may have. I think bringing up what you found may be embarrassing for him. My son and I have a very open dialogue about sex.

Porn is normal. Give him privacy. Talk to him about safe sex and buy him condoms. And don’t check his phone anymore.

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Have the talk. In the car. He doesn’t have to look at you. Captive audience.

Yes, of course you should speak with him about it. I feel you should have had “the talk” already a few years ago.

I personally believe you should be talking with your kids about sex and life since they are young. Tell them what’s you believe and what’s you expect and always talk about how we grow. Don’t wait. And definitely talk to him by asking what he thinks and what’s going on with girls and also what appropriate internet viewing. Be open and non judgmental