My boyfriend and I have been together for years, and he has been the only father figure my child has known for almost all of their life. Recently he wanted to tell our new landlord a little about us so they can get to know us. He chose to tell them that our child is not biologically his and that her bio dad is on drugs. I wasn’t there, but he told me about it after the fact, and I was really bothered by it. First It upset me that he feels the need to point out that they are not really his kid bc they are SUPER close. And then it is just embarrassing that my “baby daddy” is on drugs. To me, that’s not really his business to tell. Is it weird that I don’t feel like that is important or necessary info for ppl to find out to get to know us? He was super defensive and upset when I told him it bothered me. He feels like it’s not a big deal at all.
You could have preemptively let him know that information was private, but you didn’t. So let this one go. And make an agreement to keep that information private moving forward.
Honestly men can be stupid lol seriously. I feel like he was trying to just be friendly and meant no harm at all saying that, however I completely understand where you’re coming from not wanting that information shared especially when you weren’t even there. It sucks and you’re entitled to be upset but I’d also let it blow over and not get into a big fight over it especially since it’s now done and over with. Just tell him with anything personal wise to not go and tell strangers it anymore especially without you there
In my humble opinion…we cannot control what our mates tell others. In fact, we cannot control our mates at all. Your job is to tell him how that made you feel only. There is nothing else you can do. The rest is up to him and his values.
Definitely let this one go. He probably didn’t do it to hurt you. He probably is just an honest guy and feels like the truth is important, so he told your landlord the truth
To late now, he already said it😩 yeah it’d bother me also… like damn seems like he just threw you under the bus. Nothing you can do now tho so just leave it alone
I get where you’re coming from and the landlord is an odd choice of people to tell. But it is his life choice and his story to tell. He is raising children he loves right along beside you. The family you share is just as much his business as it is yours. And you shouldn’t be embarrassed about your baby daddy’s addiction, that’s on him. Just my opinion
I understand you being upset, as it wasn’t your finest family quality for an introduction, but some men need praise, need to feel valued for being there, when they don’t have to be, and I think validation is what he was going for…just in the wrong way.
So maybe give the man a bit of a break, and love on him a little harder, let him know how much it means to you that he is there.
…he, at this point, knows you don’t like that information shared, so don’t beat a dead horse— come at him with some love, prove to those landlords some ugly truths in our pasts only bring us closer and gives us more respect for each other!
In his eyes it’s not a big deal… he isnt their real dad… maybe he thought that would make him look good…like he has stepped up to raise kids that aren’t his… ya know… Idk it’s the truth so why be mad about it???
Sounds like he was just having a conversation with someone. Just tell him the bio dads drug use is private info and you don’t want it shared. That being said, if he wants to tell someone the kid isn’t his, he’s entitled to do so because it isn’t his kid, nor is he the step dad. It doesn’t make them any less close with each other.
Omg I feel the same way!!! My husband has been raising my daughter since she was 6 weeks old! And he STILL tells people “Yeah she’s not biologically mine” she’s 6 1/2 fucking years old! She doesn’t know that! (Her bio is not involved at all!) and the more people that know the more chance she’s going to find out from them when I wanted her to know when she’s a bit older. But no. I still get on him when he just mentions it to someone like why tf do they HAVE to know that??? They don’t! But oh well men are just so stupid. I think it’s a “Good guy” image
Soooo he is not allowed to a have conversation with anyone ever without ur approval on the subject?? Eh it is what it is…
Maybe he feels proud to be the father of her, even tho hes not biological.
You cant be angry with him for telling the truth… you said you dont feel its his place to discuss their bio dads info that to me honestly if hes their and rearing them its as much his right as urs
Of course he doesn’t see it as a big deal, he’s “The Good Guy”. I do see your point, it’s unnecessary and rude to shell out details like that. It’s just as easy to say neutral things like girl child is * old and in *grade, boy child likes * activity, gf works as a *, etc. No need to give out your personal history, he should have shared about your current situation.
It feels like a put down because he only highlighted how he’s a better choice than your previous relationship.
These other comments are bullshit. Only thing I agree with is yes, you’ll probably have to let this one go. But you have every right to be upset and he should definitely not be sharing your business with anyone who could be considered an acquaintance at best. Landlords are business associates. Not friends. And they don’t need to know your personal life- that’s just common sense.
Yes it is a big deal. That’s your business to tell or not. How would he feel if you told of all the negative events touching his life. Smh
While it may be uncomfortable, you are blessed to have a great guy in your kids life. My boyfriend has 3 stepchildren and raised them as his own. He tells people they are stepchildren but does it with pride. Sounds like he’s proud too and should be.
I agree that you should let this one go. Maybe he was just venting or explaining things.
Don’t let that get to u boo . I know he wasn’t thinking when he said that