Should I continue to initiate contact?

My son’s father left us when he was three months old for another woman and kicked us out, knowing we really didn’t have anywhere else to go. We moved in with my parents. My son is now three, and his father hasn’t seen him in 2 years. He doesn’t show to court visits, doesn’t initiate to see him or even ask for photos, completely blanked him out of his life. his friends and family have been going around town telling everyone I keep my son from them and that every time his father gets a job, I call the cops to get him arrested (which doesn’t even make sense in itself?). My son’s aunt and grandmother have had nothing to do with him since he was five months old. They walk past him all the time and don’t say one word to him, don’t try to ask to see him. On my son’s first birthday, the grandmother asked me for my phone number, and I gave it to her. She said she’d see him when she got a day off. It’s been two years now. I did see her again during the summer, and she stated she lost my number, so I told her, “I’ll message you from Facebook the number,” so she was aware she had more than one way to get into contact with me. Do I continue trying to initiate a relationship between the grandmother and aunt with my son? Do I leave it be? My son’s father just lost custody of his other two children and has booked state because he has warrants. So a relationship with his father isn’t really possible. I took him to court (which he didn’t show to) to take away his visitations since he didn’t utilize them at all.

37 Likes

If just let it lie where it is. If they are truly interested, they’ll find a way to get in touch with you.

3 Likes

Never force someone to be in your child’s life if they don’t want to be. The child will feel the resentment. Distance is better, especially when he is young

5 Likes

When he is older and wants to try and make contact himself, give him all the information he needs. For now, just remind him of how many people he has that loves him. He won’t miss a thing.

2 Likes

Leave it alone. He doesnt want him and neither does his family. They dont deserve him anyways. Move on!

5 Likes

Nope just leave it. It’s not worth the stress and they’re obviously not interested.

Omg! Why in the world wouldn’t you just leave it alone? Isn’t it quite obvious they want no contact with him? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that! :roll_eyes:

4 Likes

What a fucking piece of shit

A judge will terminate his parental rights. Get a hold of the other 2 children’s mother and ask them to help you get his parental rights terminated if he doesn’t have any for them.

1 Like

Just leave it alone. They have ways of contacting you.

Stop trying to force this relationship with these people. If they were going to be involved and were serious about it they would do it. It’s not going to make sense to you how someone could walk away from your child but don’t t worry about those people that left. You be there. It’s almost better to be all the way out than halfway in a child’s life. It’s sad but he’s telling you he’s not interested and your child has no relationship with them he doesn’t know them at all. So leave it be.

4 Likes

Don’t initiate contact at all! Sounds like you’re better off. Stop being stupid

Just leave it. You have enough to do as a single mom, trying to force a relationship with the dads side is just making more work for you. They are adults and if they wish to talk to you they can do a FB search. But honestly, you and your son are better off without them at all instead of them being in and out.

1 Like

Personally I wouldn’t bother

No I wouldn’t bother. If they cared they would make the effort.

It’s obviously a mute point by now they’ve had years and multiple opportunities they know how to get ahold of you if they have any interest in doing so in the future.

1 Like

Of they contact you to see him id let him but make sure you are there since he doesnt know them, but dont go out of your way to try to get them to be there if they want to they will. I tried for 7 years to get my daughters dad to be in her life she is now 10 and he acted like he wanted to last year then all of a sudden stopped

Leave it alone. Not worth the stress.

NO. As a Grandma myself I would give my arms and legs to see my grandchild. If your ex is telling people that just let him. This day and age most people know that courts step in if a custodial parent is keeping a child away from the other parent.

I would send him updates via certified mail once every six months. I wouldn’t give much information. Keep it short and sweet. Send a picture. To his mom. To him. And you have done your duty. You cannot make someone want to be a dad. A real man doesn’t do this to their children. So sad.

Your son don’t need them in his life …let it be

1 Like