For those who remember I almost called it quits on my marriage, after my in-laws were horrible to me, most of you, voted for me to allow him to cut them off and move on with our marriage, for those who don’t know, I’m a 30yo woman married for five years to a 28yo man, my problem was that certain family members on my husbands side had been disrespecting me and making me feel uncomfortable pretty much the entirety of our marriage, the last time, it got so bad, my husband had to cut the entire family off for calling me out of my name. Now, I’m facing another dilemma. Well, one of them has been trying to reach out lately and (even though it makes me think it’s out of obligation) now I don’t know what to do, on one hand, even if the invitations are sincere, it’s only coming from 1 person, and that doesn’t mean they all feel the same way. I’d give them another chance, but going to the events I’m being invited to, means I’d have to be around people who probably still hate me, people who expect me just to let things go and start over, and people who have never really seen it for me, on the other, even though he won’t admit it, it would mean a lot to my husband. Am I petty by asking for an apology for the last time I was disrespected, or should I just pretend nothing ever happened as they want me to and start over? Please help! Xoxo
Maybe the invitation is an ‘apology’? Maybe it’s their way to smooth things over?
Toxic is toxic. They were cut out for a reason. Don’t fall back into the manipulation. Just go on about your life.
Nah girl… you need an apology,there is no reason why your in-laws should treat you and disrespect you like thst… I’ve got the same issues with my inlaws,and every time they get called out for what they have done,they act as if they haven’t done a damn thing and make themselves the victim… you deserve an apology.
Personally, with things like this I find it better to be he bigger person and just let go. Don’t let shitty people change your heart. If you feel like you could give a second chance and you know it would really mean something to your hubby then to hell with the haters kill them with kindness girl!
I dont go to any event that disrupts my peace. … My monster in law sits at some of my childs basket ball games and im called a shit mom for skipping out on my sons practices but at the same time my son knows i love him care for him and root for him. If someone disrupts the peace in my life being that toxic then i have the right to skip certain things. Best of luck hun
Girl if you have to ask for an apology you might as well not . I wouldn’t go back to something like that, no absolute way. If they are truly sorry they will reach out and apologize, and you have the right to still stay distant. You’ll be able to tell by their reactions from that over time if they are truly sorry or if they explode because they expect something from you because they “apologized.” I would sweat it and just keep moving on for now
They’re not gonna change trust me.
They won’t apologize or change. Let your husband go alone.
I would maybe give it one more shot that they dont deserve for your husband. Otherwise have him go alone.
I can tell you what I would do.
I’d have a heart to heart with that person to see if they are truly sincere. I would not want to be around people that treat me like shit and maybe this person was roped into it all with the rest of his family (as it happens sometimes).
Then once you’ve seen if they’re sincere -and they are- I would go and throw all that ish over my shoulder. Put my head up and act like none of their attitudes bother me (even if it does)
If they don’t seem sincere keep ya head up and keep it moving. Let your husband know you don’t feel comfortable and you don’t want to be around people who have treated you by shit and dont feel apologetic about it.
If you really want to support your husband -see option 1 and cry in the bathroom. …t least that’s what I’d probably do.
What was the act of disrespect?
I wouldn’t go. Let him go… but if my family treated my husband/wife like that I wouldn’t go!!! Both of you have to stand together United against them… or they will continue to be disrespectful
Been there; done that. My in-laws, MIL especially, made trouble from day one. My husband wrote them off for being cruel to me and our son. My MIL passed away a couple years ago but the divide she created never went away. Out of 6 kids, including my husband we speak to one and I refuse to speak to my FIL. There have been times when we tried to do ‘the right thing’ only to realize toxic is toxic. I’ve been with my husband almost 40 years; he chose me over them and that was all I needed. If you love your husband and he is standing with you I surely wouldn’t leave him because his family is screwed up.
I’m in the exact same boat but I’ve had to deal with that for 5 years girl and if you want my advice smile and look straight at them (the 1s that are hating on ya) and tell them fuck up cunt and walk away honestly I’m still getting treated like I that now no point trying to impress them they ain’t the ones you with its a relationship between 2 people not the whole damn village fuck them and their shit. And you not out here impressing the world girl just your man. And if you do get invited just go and smile and wave believe me let them hate it ain’t your problem lol its theirs
Leave it be. I wouldn’t. You and your husband need to stick together so if they can’t respect both. Then none go
You’re gonna embarrass yourself asking for an apology ! You’re gonna sound entitled to people who don’t even like you , and if the apology is not even genuine I wouldn’t want it at all
Life is too short just let it go
I can talk to a person and even accept their apology but I will not be pushed into uncomfortable situations around their family. There is nothing that says he cannot go spend time At his family functions without you. But if I’m disrespected and uncomfortable then no I won’t go.
My advice is, dont send just your husband. It shows a break in your unity. If your gonna go, go together. But I wouldnt. I’ve had the same problems and as many times as we tried reconciliation, it ALWAYS BLEW UP. So we are going on 4 years of no contact with any of them and it’s so peaceful.