Should I have to wake up with my boyfriends child in the middle of the night?

I just wanted some advice about my current situation. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years, and he has a 2 year+7-month-old daughter. I’ve helped him take care of her since about a month after she was born. Don’t get me wrong; I love her a lot. I feed her, bathe her, help her go to sleep, etc. However, she does not sleep well at night, and I’m sure that is because she goes between houses… but she wakes up about six times throughout the night and sometimes more. We share a room with her as we live in his parent’s house. My problem is, is it my responsibility to sleep on the side of the bed closest to her and have to wake up 6+ times a night to tend to her while my boyfriend catches his zzz’s? I already have bad insomnia and have to take a medication just to get to sleep and constantly getting woken up by whining and crying is so draining for me as it’s hard for me to even get back to sleep. We typically switch off every night… as in he does one night and I do the other etc. But recently, it’s just really gotten on my nerves. I’ve talked to him about it, and he thinks I’m being overdramatic and still wants me to switch off nights with him. Am I selfish and overdramatic, or am I right by telling him it’s not my responsibility as I literally help him with everything else imaginable when it comes to her? Please, no negativity.


No he should be doing that.


Not to be mean, but Really why would you post here and not just tell your BF ?


Your first mistake was dating someone with a new baby. No, it’s not your husband and not your step child. That’s his job.


I would be more concerned with why at 2 she is still waking up that many times? Does she do that at moms house? At this point it should be just routine to go between houses for her. This is something both of you need to talk to mom about with the pediatrician.


in the end it is his child and his responsibility…you do alot of the mother stuff and that should be more than enough… I say moving forward that you won’t be doing the night time wake ups anymore period…


i think if your unable to step up and be the parent this child needs u to be during her time away from her mother than u should just walk away from the relationship as a whole. children need stability and moving between households is very difficult.


I think u should treat the child as ur own In all aspects. With that said he should be helping tho! Get up. Take turns!


You knew he had a child. A commitment to him is also a commitment to that child. Think of it this way,l…if the two of you were to have a child, switching off would be fair right?


yep this is your family, a family shares all


Why are you living with someone that still lives with his mom? :eyes:


When you’re in a relationship with someone that has kids… you need to treat that kid the same way you would your own or you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone with a child.


HE Lives with his mom and you his girlfriend takes care of child,
I would be gone


If you both work, you could both be getting up with her at night… however your boyfriend should be doing it a majority of the times as it’s his daughter.


Smh… Why get with a guy that has children ??? You guys been together over 2 years , Yes you should be helping but he also needs to do his part …

1 Like

After all this time it’s shocking you don’t consider the child as yours. It doesn’t sound like you have bonded with her. Makes me sad for this child. If you’re taking turns that seems fair to me.


You should take turns. No judgment here.

Well if u plan on being with this man for the rest of ur life then u should treat this baby as one of ur own… my youngest daughter woke up several time in the night screaming she finally grew out of it, but it can be exhausting.
I think if u plan on being with the father then stepping up and taking the role of a parent it comes with the package. Thats just my opinion.
Good luck.

If you took on a man with a child and you live with him you really should be sharing all responsibilities. If you both work all duties, Bills, chores etcetera including any care the child needs. Since you mentioned the child goes between homes it doesn’t seem like it is every night. Maybe you should consider a place of your own.


It should be shared, not one sided, same as any relationship with a child if you in it for the long haul. Otherwise it sounds like he is pulling the ass out of it.

1 Like