"At what age would you allow your child to go trick-or-treating on their own? My 13-year-old wants to go on her own, but it makes me so nervous.
We live in a nice neighborhood, and she will be with friends, but I still dislike the thought. Should I just let her go? Follow her without her knowing? I wanna give her a chance to hang out with friends, and I trust her. It’s this world I don’t trust. Help?"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Never. If they are old enough to go alone they are too old to trick or treat.”
“My 19-year-old took my 4-year-old last year and I followed far behind them the whole way!! It’s not that I don’t trust my oldest; I trust her with my life! It’s the rest of the world I don’t trust!”
“I always told my kids when you are too old for me to go along, you are too old to go.”
“My face when I read ‘follow her without her knowing…’ Cut the cord mama. You’ve gotta trust her to be safe and responsible on her own sometimes. If she feels she’s ready then she’s ready. You could have her call you every so often just to check in if she has a phone or a friend does. She’ll be okay.”
“There’s a lot of creeps out there rn, so I think at least one adult should go with them and don’t take her word for it that ‘Ashley’s mom is gonna come.’ No, you talk to Ashley’s mom yourself and make sure that she is indeed going to go supervise. Back when I was 13, I did go on my own but times are different.”
“Maybe try giving her ‘check-in times’ so you know she isn’t too far away. At 13 you can’t be to careful. I was never allowed to do anything as a child. Now, since I have 2 (very young right now) I would give them space and make them show me they are trustworthy. Every 30 mins to an hour home to say hi. Then go back out. Still come home by the designated time. And bring friends by to say hi as well! Don’t make it weird. Give them candy as well each time (probably only twice) but at least you will know everyone is safe and cared for.”
“Let that girl go with her friends. You have to let kids live a little. If you shelter them so much they won’t know how to function when they become adults.”
“She will be fine!!! She’s 13!! Keep her phone on, let her have a good time! Definitely old enough & will love the independence.”
“If you’re not comfortable with it don’t allow it. I know it’s hard for a 13-year-old to understand but try to explain to her that it’s not about what she might do but what someone might do to her.”
“I remember going alone when I was 11-12, but that was 15 years ago & the world didn’t seem so bad. Does she have a phone? Turn on the share location & keep track of her that way? Does she have the “noon” app? Pepper spray & a defense flashlight? I would not just trust the nice neighborhood, I would send her with some sort of way to protect herself & maybe show her how to fight & make sure she knows to run if she feels unsafe?”
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