Should I Let My 13-Year-Old Trick-or-Treat on Her Own? When Did You Let Your Kids?

QUESTION:

"At what age would you allow your child to go trick-or-treating on their own? My 13-year-old wants to go on her own, but it makes me so nervous.

We live in a nice neighborhood, and she will be with friends, but I still dislike the thought. Should I just let her go? Follow her without her knowing? I wanna give her a chance to hang out with friends, and I trust her. It’s this world I don’t trust. Help?"

RELATED QUESTION: I Don’t Know What to Do About Trick-or-Treating This Year Due to COVID-19: Advice?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“Never. If they are old enough to go alone they are too old to trick or treat.”

“My 19-year-old took my 4-year-old last year and I followed far behind them the whole way!! It’s not that I don’t trust my oldest; I trust her with my life! It’s the rest of the world I don’t trust!”

“I always told my kids when you are too old for me to go along, you are too old to go.”

“My face when I read ‘follow her without her knowing…’ Cut the cord mama. You’ve gotta trust her to be safe and responsible on her own sometimes. If she feels she’s ready then she’s ready. You could have her call you every so often just to check in if she has a phone or a friend does. She’ll be okay.”

“There’s a lot of creeps out there rn, so I think at least one adult should go with them and don’t take her word for it that ‘Ashley’s mom is gonna come.’ No, you talk to Ashley’s mom yourself and make sure that she is indeed going to go supervise. Back when I was 13, I did go on my own but times are different.”

“Maybe try giving her ‘check-in times’ so you know she isn’t too far away. At 13 you can’t be to careful. I was never allowed to do anything as a child. Now, since I have 2 (very young right now) I would give them space and make them show me they are trustworthy. Every 30 mins to an hour home to say hi. Then go back out. Still come home by the designated time. And bring friends by to say hi as well! Don’t make it weird. Give them candy as well each time (probably only twice) but at least you will know everyone is safe and cared for.”

“Let that girl go with her friends. You have to let kids live a little. If you shelter them so much they won’t know how to function when they become adults.”

“She will be fine!!! She’s 13!! Keep her phone on, let her have a good time! Definitely old enough & will love the independence.”

“If you’re not comfortable with it don’t allow it. I know it’s hard for a 13-year-old to understand but try to explain to her that it’s not about what she might do but what someone might do to her.”

“I remember going alone when I was 11-12, but that was 15 years ago & the world didn’t seem so bad. Does she have a phone? Turn on the share location & keep track of her that way? Does she have the “noon” app? Pepper spray & a defense flashlight? I would not just trust the nice neighborhood, I would send her with some sort of way to protect herself & maybe show her how to fight & make sure she knows to run if she feels unsafe?”

Have a response to this question? Leave it below to help a mama out! Or leave your own question and get responses from real moms!

READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

15 Likes

Once mine got to junior high I let them go with their friends.

The answer is NO! She’s not going by herself. Or alone with any other MINORS The mother is RIGHT about that… Even if you trust your children/teenagers whatever. There ARE mean evil & NASTY predators out there & you NEVER know who could be watching your child or following them. If you care about the SAFETY of your child then it will come before “fun” :speaking_head::speaking_head:anyday!!!:100:. Thats REAL parenting

10 Likes

Uh around 13 with freinds tho not by herself

1 Like

No way if she wants to go fine but only if you go.

I wouldn’t let my daughter go with friends with so many things going on in this world.

13 and in a group of friends should be fine that’s when I let my daughters go by themselves just around the neighborhood and they were to check in though

13 should be ok esp w friends. I let my kids play in our neighborhood. Cant baby them or they wont know what to do in the real world. And predators are usually family or close friends so the risk of a stranger doing something is slim.

It’s a tricky one, pardon the pun, but you have to go on your own instincts… you know you’re daughter better than anyone. It’s tough to let go and it’s a very difficult situation to be in as a parent and only you can make that decision. I personally wouldn’t just yet as said above, there are a lot of weirdos around and we have to protect our children at all costs.

you’ve obviously having a bad feeling about letting her go that evening so trust your gut and maternal instincts and dont let her go alone

1 Like

My mom let me go with friends when I was 13. We were in a good neighborhood. She had all my friends cell phone numbers and they had hers in case of emergency.
If you’re worried, maybe just trail behind her a little bit. Be with her, but from a little distance. That way she can “be on her own” with her friends but you’re also at easy because you can still keep an eye on her.

I trust my kids but I don’t trust strangers. It only takes once and your life can be changed forever. Ill always be a helicopter mom. Sorry, not sorry :slightly_smiling_face:

I personally will not allow my kids to wander off alone. Especially with how bad this world has been lately. I couldn’t live with the fact that if something happened I would be at fault for letting them go.

I think if you don’t let her she won’t be happy about it, if she has a phone I would offer to track it while she is out and only around the block or give her a curfew to be home. Obviously you would feel better if you where are with her but she wants to feel trusted by you to go on her own. :woman_shrugging:t4: that’s my view on it. Or if you have smaller children go a little behind her and her group a few houses down so you can keep an eye on her without hovering

Things are different from when we were all kids. Human trafficking is at an all time high and these predators aren’t being picky over who they snatch. So no. I wouldn’t risk it. A parent or 2 should chaperone the group that wants to go.

2 Likes

Mine was 12 , he went with friends . I gave him a time to come back . And he did . He does not have a phone .

Alone? Never. A group of 13 year olds. Yes.

I didn’t. Up until they were 16 and stopped on their own. They didn’t complain, at least not to me. It’s not them I didn’t trust. It was the people where we went.

1 Like

With her friends I would say yes and put down a few common sense rules as well as a time to b home. By common sense rules i mean like y’all stay together and dont go off alone kind of thing

1 Like

13 lol go buy her candy she to old to be going

3 Likes