Should I let my sons move in with their dad?

Help! How do you handle your sons wanting to move in with their dad, who’s located 2 hours away? My sons, aged 12 and 13, have expressed they want to move in with their dad, who lives 2 hours away. This would mean a change of school districts. My heart is broken! I had always been the primary caretaker since my divorce ten years ago. Their dad works very early in the morning (4 am) and would not be present to get them ready for school or attend school functions, dr appointments, etc. His girlfriend would be doing most of the parenting. My whole heart tells me this is not the best thing for my sons, but I also don’t want them to resent me. I’ve tried talking to them about why it’s not in their best interest but they are 12 and 13-year-old boys who can’t see past their own wants.

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That’s tough mama, I would hate letting them move out of my house but that is their dad :frowning:

I had a similar situation with my boys and their dad. In my case it was their dad pushing for the move more. We ended up going to court and letting a judge decide that way neither of us were the bad guy and my boys can’t blame or resent me for not letting them move.

They are at the age to say who they want to live with. If that’s what they want then let them go.

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I let my daughter move with her Dad best thing I could have done. It hurt like hell but are relationship is stronger.

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It may not be a “want” to them. This could be something that they need.
I can completely understand that it’s going to hurt you, but I doubt that it’s their intention to do so.

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What about doing a summer flip flop. Have them stay all summer with their dad you do weekends or what ever works then school year with you. Offer the alternative.

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Ugh…I just went thru this with my boys…they each lived with their dad (as they wanted) for 6 months…it was not at all what they thought it would be…they are back home now but I had to let them decide what they wanted…do a trial run in the summer months and see if it’s what they really want…

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Listen to your kids.

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I wouldn’t allow it since the girlfriend would be doing the parenting. Now if she were the stepmom, then I would maybe consider it.

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It hurts to think your child may chose one parent over another but we must acknowledge a child will always pick the parent who has the best or does the most it’s nothing to do with who they like more

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Tell them they need to finish out the school year with you and then if they still feel they want to live with their father that it is up to them but let them know they can come back any time they want.

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You’d get to sleep in

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No excuse to give into them. Maybe that’s what they want the freedom to do what they want. They could just tell the girlfriend they don’t have to listen to her. Do what is best for them.

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Depending on what state you live in, there is an age at which you can’t prevent them from making that choice. Where I live it’s 13 and the court will only prevent it, if you can prove it’s an unsafe place.

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If he’s a good dad then maybe let them go for the summer to feel it out and see how they think after 2 months.

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Been there. If you don’t let they they will come to recent you later. Maybe they will learn from it.

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I would let them go during the summer and see how they like it.

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Dont do it you know whats best for them and let them resent you for it they will thank you when they are older, are there less rules there than at yours?

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As hard as that is they should have that chance. Try not to take it as they love you any less. Take it as they want to know their dad better. Prayers mom they will never forget or replace you .

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