Should I make contact with my daughters fraternal grandmother?

My daughter will be 11. Her father left without notice at 7mths old. She has never known him. I had to do some sleuthing to serve him court papers so I could have custody. I ended up having him sub-served. He left us while we were at a dentist appointment for my oldest and moved back in with his parents. He never showed up for court. Therefore I earned full custody. In the beginning, I made contact and tried to open the lines of communication with my daughter’s fraternal grandmother. I welcomed her to call us and see her grand-daughter. She never once made an attempt. I even shop at the grocery store she works at. (Guilty, I avoid her checkout) Been through several times with my daughter. Never once has she spoke kindly to me, nor has she asked about my daughter. My daughter is at the age now, where she has been questioning seeing her grandmother. She has been living with a step-father for the last eight years. Should I open the door to communication with her fraternal grandmother again? What if my husband disapproves? I believe I know what is best…keep her close, protect from heartbreaking situations… but… would I be right to keep her away? …or… should I make another attempt for my daughter because she wants to meet her fraternal grandmother.??? :expressionless::cry:


She’s at the age where she should be the one deciding so if she wants to meet her try to make it happen! She can make the final call whether she wants to have a relationship with her or not after a meeting happens, IF it happens


I would move on! Clearly they have no interest…


I would tell her to keep her expectations small regarding grandmom and try again to reach out. Just to show your daughter you at least tried


It is ultimately her choice, I feel. She is older now. BUT be real with her and explain that you don’t mind her seeing that side of the family but that you don’t want to see her hurt if they choose not to be there, etc. Leave it up to her but give her the knowledge in advance.

They obviously want nothing to do with you guys, consider it a blessing

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I’d tell her the truth. And let her reach out on her own when she’s old enough to handle the heartbreak.


If the woman has seen your child in person and hasn’t acknowledged her, do not bring that person into your child’s life.


He checked out years ago, why not just move on with your now husband, who sounds like he’s been a great step dad the last 8 years? The father and grandmother clearly want nothing to do with either of you and I agree with your husband. She’s only 11, let her decide on her own once she has all the facts at 18.

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If your daughter is asking and wants that I would reach out. And let her know her granddaughter has been asking about her and maybe you can for.lunch? If she denies than just move on

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No. A child shouldn’t have to make the effort to an adult. You’ve kept the door open as you should. Shitty the grandma can’t reach out. Her loss

Talk to him first. I would not contact her grandmother, she does not speak to her or u

You reached out, she know’s about her granddaughter and she doesnt make any effort to call or be in her life in any way. People dont change, from experience, I would let the past be and move on. If you daughter wants to contact her once she’s older that would be OK but be prepared for the emotional toll when the gma doesnt want anything to do with her.

Definitely let her have a relationship with the Grandmother, as long as it’s a healthy relationship. If you do not let her, she might feel resentment, and blame you.

If she isn’t nice to you and never asks about her own granddaughter why is this even being questioned? She obviously doesn’t care…when your daughter is older if she chooses to reach out let her but until then I’d leave it alone…

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Honestly the grandmother would know how to contact you, yet she hasn’t.
So I wouldn’t worry

if that woman doesnt even care about her granddaughter n hasnt made a move to see her or even ask her … plz do not bring ur child to her life. She will be hurt knowing the truth


No if she isn’t making an effort you shouldn’t either

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Ur daughter won’t miss what she never had


I’d make a SILENT attempt, then go from there.