How do you deal with a friend who got a divorce last year and constantly makes annoying comments like “you don’t know what it’s like to do everything on your own” She lives with her mother and has lots of help? She has nothing other than her own bedroom to clean, dinner is made every night for her and her kids, her kids go to their fathers every weekend, and when they don’t, she even leaves them at daycare for extra time to get her free time in. It baffles me how she can think for a single second she’s doing everything on her own. She has more help and more free time than any other parent I know. Would you bring this to her attention or let it go? I probably wouldn’t if she wasn’t constantly making these comments. I have my kids 24/7; my husband is home for two hours a night before he goes to sleep and is too tired to do anything other than hanging out with us for a bit, which we appreciate. I can’t stand the comments any longer. I don’t know why it bothers me, I think I can’t stand the fact she doesn’t realize how much help she is getting.
I would personally let it go. People have different struggles. And they are who they are
Well if it really bothers you just say I do know what it’s like cause I have to do everything with the house and the kids cause my husband is either working or asleep when he is home and doesn’t help out.
You’re jealous that she has something you don’t. And that’s ok. But yeah maybe you can tell her she’s being a little overbearing with it.
But understand that living with a parent as an adult definitely has its challenges too so she’s allowed to feel like her life is hard too.
We never know exactly what someone else is going through. You may assume everything is done for her when in reality it is not. Im a single mom 3 adults one younger child. I have never had family support for my older or younger children but to others they think just because I have family I have all kinds of help and happiness. When in reality my family isn’t good to myself or my children. Try not to judge and just tell her those comments hurt as you have alot on your plate as well.
Tell you know it is tough for her right now but it will get better. Suggest she take a class in something: yoga, biking, reading group, something to fill her time and fill her life again.
Depends on if you’re ready to potentially ready to lose a friend. People see what they want to see (meaning her).
I used to have a friend that would do this with finances, I never said anything.
I had a coworker like that and I got tired of her calling herself a single mom and using her kids as an excuse not to work weekends and holidays when I know for a fact their father had them cause I knew him too. The day she tried to compare herself to me as a single mom in front of everybody it pissed me off so bad I called her out because she truly has no idea what it’s like to do everything on your own. I don’t blame you for being annoyed
Sorry…it’s hard not to be envious…mb one day, you can tell her…you feel that way when she doesnt acknowledge all the help she has, and just because your team is staying together he doesnt do the help you get, because he is doing outside the home…let it go, if she does6get it…hugs
I had to spend 2 weeks staying at my parents. I wanted to die I wouldn’t assume it’s sunshine and rainbows.
I’ve been married over twenty years. I’m made to feel bad about it all the time. We row and have fights but we work things out. I get so much grief from people who’ve split up that I don’t get how things are. They have more money and freedom and benefits than we do and we can’t make ends meet because we’re married! Just sigh and ignore it!
I would just say “thank goodness for your mother” everytime she said that.
I know a few “mothers” like this. They get help, free babysitting, roof over their heads and child support but still find something to complain about. I personally just stay away from people like that. I get needing to vent. I do. At the same time, I don’t want to listen to a broken record if they have no legit reason to complain. Am I an asshole for it? I guess lol. I’m just the type of person that if you don’t like your current situation, do something about it to fix it. Just me tho.
If ur that close of friends u should say something. Don’t be rude ab it . Next time she brings it up say what u just said in a nice time. Say I wish I had the amount of free time u get. Or something like ur lucky u have ur mom to help. Something like that.
Good lord. Just because she lives with her parents now and her kids go to their dads on the weekend doesn’t mean she doesn’t have struggles too. She doesn’t have a partner to share life and the hardships of raising kids with so she likely feels like she is doing it all on her own because SHE IS, even if she does have her parents around. They still aren’t the grandparents kids to raise. You sound jealous that she gets free time to herself. Hire a babysitter and get you some free time. Seems like it could do you a world of good.
Victim mentality. And you can’t convince them of anything different than what they are telling you. From my experience the only thing to do is not listen.
I bet you she is just lonely and wants to vent to someone. You could always say I’m sorry you feel so alone, I’m always here if you need to talk. And if that doesn’t work, call her out nicely. And if that doesn’t work, cut her out of your life
Truth be told. The truth is rarely told. I would confront her in private. Don’t humiliate her but set her straight in a loving kind way. She needs to humble herself. But its nit your job to change anyone. All you should do is set a good example and in this case. Set the tone in a gracious loving manner. Teach her because she seems both ignorant and arrogant. But give it a shot. You can lead a horse water but there is no forcing to drink. God bless y’all
Projecting. It aint you at all…
I’d ignore or tell her it’s not a competition to see who is more miserable lol