Should I say something to my friend or let it go?

Change the subject when she brings it up

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Tell her to Walk in your shoes for a bit :+1:

Who gives a shit? Stop being jealous of your friend having it easier than you? How do you know though? Are you there every waking second of her life? Do you know what goes on behind closed doors? I am currently going through a divorce and that’s the hardest thing ever. If it bothers you that much say something or stop being friends. That’s like being upset your friends parents paid for their wedding cuz they could afford it and you had to pay for yours cuz yours couldn’t afford it. She has help. That’s great. Just cuz your husband works doesn’t mean he can’t help you more either :woman_shrugging:t2:

SIL was like this…tossed her kids off on everyone…went on road trips all the time…different boyfriend every week…but nobody knew how tough it was to be her and be a mom…:expressionless: Especially not me or the others she constantly tossed her kids off on for days…if not weeks…at a time to buy food for and deal with their drama bc acted out bc no stable parent in their life. Just grandparents and aunts and uncles constantly raising them for her while she stayed in teenage party mode…Some people should never have kids…

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Say it how it is. People are so caught up in their own bubble and want others to continuously feel sorry for them. Tell her to suck it up and when she actually stands on her own two feet then she can say how hard it is to do it on her own

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I would totally say something. Do it in a nice way by saying something like: You don’t even realize how good you have it, and repeat what you just said here.

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Misery loves company I would bring it up one time that we all have our own share of problems if she keeps at it, drop her. I wouldn’t want to hear 24/7 “woe is me”

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as a forever singular parent whose “village” consists of my father who lives across town and works full time, I can understand your frustrations with her comments. I’ve done everything pretty much on my own with my daughter after she was two weeks old (I lived in a different state and my father came to help after I gave birth which was the BEST thing ever). I’ve heard some single parents say that raising kids are easy, or even say it’s tough being a coparent and only having their kid(s) a few days a week. I’ve found when I’ve pointed out how much easier they have it, it doesn’t end well. I’ve learned to keep my comments to myself. it’s not worth wasting your breath. besides, some people who look like they have it easy are also struggling with other things, even mental health. when she brings it up, just say that in some ways you understand how this person feels, and wish them an easier time. your friend may have her own struggles that she doesn’t talk about. we all have our own battles and we deal with and process them differently. our personal experiences in life change our perspective on things; like your idea of “pain” when you’ve never broken a bone is different from someone else’s idea of pain who has broken one

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I wonder if she is going through a bit of depression. Sometimes it’s hard to see all the blessing you have when your deeply depressed.

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Personally, I would call her out. But be prepared to lose a friend over it.

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Everyone deals with their own shit differently…you can’t see thru her eyes and she can’t see thru yours.

This is the second time I’ve read this today

I had a friend who would complain about money all the time. She was always broke (even though her husband was a cop who worked side jobs). They refinanced their house so many times so they could pay off credit cards, that they owed so much more than it was worth. I would have a bag of kids clothes for her that her husband would pick up but I’d sneak frozen chicken breasts in the bag to feed her kids. Then I’d be on the phone with her and she’d tell me how she had a taste for a beef sandwich and the kids wanted pizza so they were getting delivery.
Talked to my other friend and it turned out she ordered out for her and the kids several times a week. Sometimes lunch, sometimes dinner, sometimes both. Sometimes they all had a taste for different foods so, deliveries from different places…
I stopped sneaking her food…
I lost a friend
**Just found out she’s going to school. Instead of paying for school and books with her loans and grants, she bought her and her kid new bedroom sets. The next loan/grant for school she bought a new washer and dryer…

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Tell her something, I hate when girls cry that they are single moms when they have family to help them

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If it really bothers you ( clearly it does) next time she brings it up and there are not others around just say " Right its crazy hard and could you imagine having to do it all without your parents and all they do , single parenting is a challenge" . At least it might give her pause to think and if said right would not come off rude . Then leave it where it sits . It’s her way of poor me venting .

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Just tell her. And be honest. It might ruin your friendship, but seriously? Nobody wants to hear that type of complaint. I would flat out tell her to stop talking that nonsense, and then point out everything you told us. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Sounds like in her mind she is still over loaded, in her own way; perhaps especially mentally. It has to be frustrating to hear the comparison, but it’s your opportunity to say something genuine, supportive of both of your work load while also validating that hers is also difficult too. Agree that you both can have it hard.

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She’s self absorbed! Firstly you need a new friend and hell yeah I’d say something to her I’d definitely put her in her place

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She likely has mental illness, like depression. If it bugs you that much, stop spending time with her.

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Let it go, just don’t hang out with her!

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