Should I say something to my sister in law about never wanting to hang out?

Recently my sister-in-law will invite her other brother and his four and 6-year-olds to hang out with her and her 14&16-year-old. She does not extend the invite to my husband, myself, and our eight-month-old. Now I don’t really want to hang out with her, but I put my feelings aside so my daughter can have a relationship with her cousins. I want her to grow up feeling included. I know my daughter is young and isn’t running around yet, but it doesn’t seem fair to not include her at all. Should I say something or just let it go?? It really is starting to bother me bc my daughter has only seen her older cousins a handful of times in 8 months. Thanks in advance for your advise!


Let it go she obviously feels the same as you and doesn’t want your company

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Yeah who knows what her problem is , I would Talk about it with your husband first, ask him to have a talk with her and if she keeps doing it, say something to her and then just keep it moving like it doesn’t even bother you, can’t force family to act like family.

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Talk to her. If she doesn’t want to hang out then let it go. If your husband isn’t worried about it then you don’t. You can tell when your not wanted somewhere

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Is this really about the 8 month old or do you feel like you and your husband are being left out? Is your husband concerned?


Talk to ur husband and let him talk to his sister. If it still happens have a talk with her and see why its happening

I felt the same thing before, your sil is like mine. I used to feel hurt because i want us to be really close. Years later it turned out to be the best for me, my husband and our son not to be connected with them. They are so toxic. Now they are the ones begging us to have a relationship with them but cutting them off means more peace and blessings for me.

Meh screw it focus on your family you made!!! Don’t beg to be involved and I sure wouldn’t want to be somewhere I’m unwanted!!! Enjoy your baby they grow up way too fast!!!


My children are 33 and 31 they met paternal grandmother twice in their lives. Can’t miss what you never had in first place. Let it go

Well, tbh maybe she doesn’t like you or it could be she feels awkward because she doesn’t know you like that. Why don’t you invite the cousins over, if you really want your daughter to be included then take initiative and be the host.


I’d suggest to let it go. No point in forcing a relationship for you or your daughter. Spend that time instead with those who want to be with you and your daughter. Maybe invite them to do stuff with you and your daughter. If they continue to not accept your offer then you know you tried and then move on.


At 8 months she could be looking at it as if she cant keep up with the older kids for playtime. If you want interaction…invite the kids to an event you plan.

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Invite them to your house.

Invite them to your place

I wouldnt bother esp since your daughter is so young. Theres not going to be any real relationship w cousins that much older.


Well with Covid they probably haven’t felt comfortable having an actual baby at their house…I wouldn’t take it personally and doesn’t seem like you like her that much anyways🤷‍♀️


Although I can understand how you feel, speak with her before you read something into it. Have the courage to nip any misunderstandings in the bud, your sister-in-law may have reasons unknown to you. Asking her directly will convey the message that you care and let her know that you want your families to be close. Family relationships are the most important relationships we will ever have and sometimes the most challenging. You are at least 50 percent responsible for the relationships you build, your husband can’t build them for you, it will be up to you. This is an opportunity for you to begin planting the seeds that will grow into a family legacy. I agree with Tomika Hall, you could plan an event and invite them to join you.

Invite them to your place for dinner or something casual a few times, she could simply just be giving you space as new borns can be a lot of work and she’s waiting for you to come up for air :slight_smile: if she blows you off you know you’re not imagining it and move on.

Why don’t you take that step invite her first ,then you will see how she reacts to that, that’s when you can conclude

Even if you say something, it probably won’t change, but you should give it a try, at least so she knows and it’s her turn to change. But I guess, it won’t change, so after you let her know, give it some time to see and then just let it go, otherwise it will bother you forever, better have peace on your mind. Don’t worry about the people who don’t care about you!