Should I stay in a relationship for my kids?

The most complicated situation I have EVER been in. I need some different perspective opinions. Okay. So my ex-husband and I got married at a very young age. We were together for a while, had a baby, then he left us. -Some time went by, I ended up taking him back. -In this time frame, we had a couple more kids & our marriage just wasn’t the same after he left me, so I left. Found me a guy that I was head over heels in love with. He was good to my kids. He was good to me. A good amount of time went by, my ex-husband would constantly call me, telling me how depressed the kids were and how broken they were. (The kids also came to my house, where they seemed to be perfectly fine) My ex would tell me that things would be so much better for them if I just came back and lived with him, where we could all be together again, but if I refused, then they were moving to another town where they could have a different life. Being my paranoid self, I immediately put my life that I built for myself (and my kids, I swear they were happy when they came to my house) I dropped all that. —I was up on my feet, happier than I had ever been. I was with a guy whom I loved dearly, I completely shattered his heart by letting myself be manipulated & I packed up my whole life and moved back in with my ex so that I could make sure that my kids were happy. Which they ARE. They always have been. My ex made it sound much worse than it actually was. I feel like the kids were actually getting the swing of things, life with separated parents. When I moved back down here, they’re excited that Mom’s back home, but deep down I can’t be myself here. I mean, I LOVE being with my kids full time. But I also can’t stand the fact that I broke down a good thing that I had going, and I also broke the heart of a really good guy that made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. What do I do? Do I find my own place again and regain my happiness? Or do I stay here & be with a person that I don’t have a future with? I feel like life is too short not to be happy. And if my kids see that I’m happy, they’ll follow suit. But I also down want to tear their world apart by moving out again. (By moving out, I mean within the same town, it’s not like I would be an hour away. I can go get them when I want to, and my ex came to come get them when he wants to) Could they ever recover from this if I did move again? But if I stay, I don’t want them to grow up & realize that mom made herself miserable by sticking around for us kids. (My mom did that & sure. It was selfless, but at the same time, she deserved happiness too. She wasted all them years and put herself on the back burner) I’m at war with my head & my heart.

216 Likes

Never stay in a relationship for the kids, you deserve happiness too.

I mean you tried to leave before but went back. So the question is if you leave this time are you gonna keep going back? Staying in an unhealthy relationship is not doing any good for your kids.

4 Likes

Take your exhusband to court so he cannot move away with your kids and stay away from the narcissistic man.

7 Likes

You should have never went back :woman_shrugging:t4: I’m a firm believer in not staying in a relationship for the kid(s)…go find your happiness

9 Likes

If your not happy, your kids won’t be either…

3 Likes

I’d take my kids with me!

22 Likes

No… idec what what the reason is never stay in the relationship “for the kids” the arguements, the no love will teach the boys goe to treat a woman and the girls what love looks like

1 Like

Tbh, I wouldn’t even need to read the rest of it. The answer is always no. Never stay for the kids. They will be able to tell eventually and will see how unhappy you are. They deserve better than that. Better to have two separated but happy parents than miserable ones together.

7 Likes

Leave the man, take your babies and go start a new chapter.

2 Likes

Never stay for the kids, when you’re unhappy they can see that too. They deserve happy parents and they deserve to be happy too.

4 Likes

You can’t stay in a relationship for the kids they will see how unhappy and miserable u are and think that’s how relationships r supposed to be stop letting him manipulate u go to court get a court order that way he can’t move away and take the kids and go find your happiness everyone deserves to be loved and be happy

2 Likes

You already know the answer to this.

3 Likes

I would of never went back to begin with. I know it’s hard when you have kids but he manipulated you. Move out and move on and take the kiddos.

2 Likes

Can the kids not stay with you?

10 Likes

Never stay for the kids. In the end he will turn the kids against you and when they are old enough they will leave you because, if he can trick you. He is tricking them to see you as the bad guy and if you are unhappy it shows. Once they move off he doesn’t need you anymore you will be alone anyway. Take the kids and show them what a Healthy Happy life should look like or they will marry a find the same relationship you have

1 Like

Don’t. Ever. Stay. For. The. Sake. Of. The. Kids. If. It’s. Not. A. Healthy. Relationship. :woman_facepalming:t3:

13 Likes

Never. Ever. Your kids will be the ones who suffer from it. Better to be a single mum with happy healthy kids than in a dead relationship with your self and your kids suffering

1 Like

Would you tell your daughter to stay to make someone else happy? They at the very least deserve a happy mother.

1 Like

He is manipulating you and is narcissistic. You and your kids deserve better and to be happy.

1 Like