Should I stay in the lives of my step kids after we divorce?

Has anyone dealt with divorce with both kids of your own and kids your spouse had from a previous marriage? How did you go about distancing yourself from the equation when you separated or did you stay as involved in their lives as you had been?


Well that would depend, there is no reason for distance between the kids. The divorce is between the adults, if the kids get along and you and he have good relationships with each others children it should not be a problem nor shoulld it be any different than any divorce.


I have stayed in my step daughter’s life, i divorced her father not her…

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i am the child of a divorce of my dad and step mother and i still talk to her and all of her family 15 years later. they were married for 10 years before getting divorced so i grew up with the whole family.

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I see no reason for you to stay in their lives…yall getting divorced and they are not your kids give them their space…seem like you want to stay bcuz of their father…focus on u an urs an let him focus on him and his own…plus it will be very difficult u still in the pic bcuz of his kids when he do find someone else…if they were ur own then i can understamd but they are not.

Really depends on the individual situation, how long have y’all been together what kind of relationship do you have with the others children. Talk to your ex and have him talk to the kids what are their feelings? Do you want to maintain a relationship with them? I had a step parent from age 6-10 when they were no longer involved with my parent they still called and checked in and we always had lunch on my bday:) now I am 37 and we still talk a few times a year and it means a lot to me.

Depends on the situation of everyone involved. My Mom and Stepdad got a divorce last year and I’m 31… I’ve known the man since I was 9 years old. He is still very much a part of my life and I would be devastated if he wasn’t!

I would say it depends on how old the kids are and how involved you were in their lives. My step dad was amazing to me. He and my mom got together when I was in high school and were only married a few years, but he treated me like his own child. Heck, he even co-signed on my house so I could get it at 21 since I had no credit. We still meet up and have breakfast, I still call to chat about our life’s happenings, and just be there. He’s even told me multiple times I’m the best thing that’s came out of that marriage. My mom knows we still talk. I don’t think she’s a huge fan, but she knows that regardless of how it played out with them, he loves me.

Good with one not the other

My ex husband’s kids are my world still!! I couldn’t deprive them bc of who their father was! And now the kids are old enough to where they call and text me everyday on their own just to talk or see me.

It’s a shame that you need to ask !!! :thinking::sunglasses:


When my cheating ex husband left to eventually marry ONE of his girlfriends. I tried to stay in my step children’s lives. I raised them for 15+ years. Their mom was totally AWOL for the first 10 years. The kids were under 9 months and under 3 years of age; when I married their father. They have Absolutely nothing to do with me or my family- who Always treated them like gold. They were 18, and 15 when he left. They are adults; and chose to not have a relationship. They post on Facebook how much they love their mom, and stepmom. It breaks my heart. But you learn to move on.

Everybody is different my son loves his step mom and when his dad left she was still apart of my sons life he would ask for her and she would speak to him everyday and ask about his day we would meet for parent teacher conference she will always be apart of my son’s life that’s his 2nd mom most people dont have that kind of relationship I’m happy that he has 2 moms

My ex’s soon to be ex wife wants to stay in my kids lives… there is nothing wrong with an extra person for them that wants to be there for them and love them… divorce is for the grown ups… kids shouldn’t suffer or feel abandoned when the adults can’t get along.

I don’t think it’s a cut and dry answer—their age, relationship with them matters. If they are young and you weren’t together long then I’d say no, but if you are the only mother figure they’ve known I think it would be something to think about.


My mom remarried my stepfather and my mother passed away about 10 years ago and my stepfather still helps me he stuck around even after my mom passed away he was heaven sent he helps me out immensely


I don’t have any step kids but I allowed my kids former step mom to be apart of their lives after she left their dad. We didn’t get along but I knew my kids loved her. After awhile she stopped seeing them and hasn’t in about 2 years now.


It depends on how long you were with them, the age of the kids, and if THEY wanna stay close to you too.
Family is family. Stay close if you CAN.
My step daughter things I am an evil. We married when she was 3. She is now 16. Things were great until she was a teen. Now she wants nothing to do with me. But who knows when she gets older… Keep the door open


Social stopped my kids seeing there dad as he’s abusive alcoholic but they loved his partner and she was good to them so I rang her asking if she still wanted to see them but he won’t let her

My bonus baby calls me mom she’s turning 5 soon I’ve known her since she was 16months. I couldn’t imagine not seeing her and shes one of the reasons her daddy still lives with me. I wouldn’t want to separate her from her brother (soon to be brothers) either

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