I have been having an issue with my mother in law. My husband and two children and I currently live and rent out rooms from her home. She convinced us to move in when my husband was transitioning to a job closer to here. We are planning to move out in the next few months. So here’s the issue. When we first moved in, everything went great. We got along really well. I always went out of my way to clean, cook, pay her bills, which she asked me to do for her. And many other things she asked of me. I have literally done any and everything she’s asked me to and has always treated her with kindness and respect. A few months ago, she just started to say things here and there like little jabs. It started when we went for a walk together, and she told me she told her daughter how annoying I was. She talks about my skin, my hair, how I dress, what I cook. She talks about my parenting and how my son loves her the most, and she’s the only one who plays with him, which is so completely untrue. It seems like I can’t win with her, and she can’t wait to find something else to pick at me about. When she found out we are going to move, she said that the babies are the only thing that makes her happy, and she hates her life and her husband and so on, trying to make me feel guilty. I am honestly so tired of her. Even though all of this, I have never disrespected her. I just walk away when she says something. But lately, I feel like I’m losing my patience. My question is, should I tell her how awful she’s been and how totally uncalled for it is or just let it be because we are leaving soon?
Wait until you guys move, you don’t want or need more unnecessary BS before you leave. You never know what MIL is capable of doing.
Wait until you move then put some boundaries up because she’s sounds like a narc. Make sure you speak to your hubby privately and see he’s on the same page, that he understands how you feel
Talking about it will get you nowhere. You live in her house. Unfortunately, some people think that if they are helping you in anyway, it entitles them to treat you however or say whatever they want￼…
Once you move out I would establish boundaries. Saying something now will just tighten the tension and potentially piss your husband off if he’s a mama‘s boy￼… Then it’ll be the whole house against you. I would just be quiet
I would not say anything until you move. Definitely make sure your husband is on the same page too. If she ever says anything in front of him I hope he can stick up for you, although it sounds like she’s doing it when no one else is around. She’s also picking on you for things you can’t really control - which just shows there’s not too much about you that she can criticize if she has to pick on your skin and fashion sense?? Sorry you’re dealing with that.
Be very careful… grand parent rights are a thing in a lot of states and where you’ve lived with her it can be used against you if she goes that route in a grandparent rights state.
My advice…shut your mouth, suck it up and get the hell out as soon as possible!
I wouldn’t say a word. Keep contributing like you are and when the time comes, get out of there.
I wouldn’t say anything until you moved out but I would also be careful and watch because she may be saying things to your kids bad about you good luck in your future
I agree with previous posts . Just let it go in one ear & out the other . Mil sounds like a very unhappy person .
I DONT think this is worth confronting her about. Very kindly thank her for all her help and generosity and leave. Once you’re gone distance yourself and slowly figure out how to set healthy boundaries with her.
Bid your time. Be less available to her. Go to the library or take long walks or rides. After you get into your own place you can totally stay away. No home is big enough for two families. Good luck and God bless you.
Personally I would have to say something. Because if not I would end up blowing up about something else and it would be a complete shit show.
If you can just take it until you move out, go ahead but you also don’t want to let it build up and explode later. That would be worse in the long run.
What does your husband say about it? Maybe he could talk to her…
I ageee with the above 100% once you move, then le it all be known ~ also draw clear lines in the sand and let her know “bitches can’t cross!!”
I wouldn’t say anything first because you are in her house, it will make things very uncomfortable. And most MIL are like that mine included.
Hell yeah you need to tell her how she’s making you feel
I would wait until I moved to avoid a big dramatic fight. When you do move I would say something. Kinda sounds like she is jealous.
It’s never a good idea to live with family… Too many relationships crammed into one space. Bite your tongue and focus on moving out… and never move in with family again if you value your sanity. How she feels about you guys moving out is irrelevant, especially considering how she has been treating you.
Thank her kindly & then …Tell her ALL about HERSELF on the way out, the day you move !..
I’d let it go… if she continues to be rude once y’all move out, then I’d say something. It could just be tension from having so many people under one roof, or her odd way of showing she’s scared for y’all to leave. Time will tell.
Killing with kindness is a thing I believe in highly in these situations. I know it’s hard and once you vent about it it gets harder. But just keep a smile on your face and breathe.