“I’m in a rut. I’m an FTM, and My ex (my son’s father) hasn’t been in the picture from the time I found out I was pregnant til now. We split a week before I found out I was 18weeks pregnant, and after finding out, there was still no repairing it because of things he had done to me. He hasn’t cared for my son whatsoever, and he never tries to contact me about him. My son is now almost nine months and has no idea who his biological dad is or that side of the family because none of them care for him. My boyfriend that I’ve been with since my son was four months old, has been there for everything since he came into the picture. My son calls him dada and is his mini besides looks. I guess what I’m trying to get at is would it be a bad idea to terminate all rights of my ex to my child since he isn’t fit, won’t make an effort, and has nothing to do with him anyway. He won’t even pay or fill out child support like he’s supposed to, so he’s over six months behind. I have enough proof, but should I wait till after my son is a year old or try to just do it now because nothing I say to my ex influences him to have a bond in any way with my child. We can’t stand each other, but I try to be friends with our son and he doesn’t care. I just want to move on with it all and make sure my son is as happy as possible…any advice would be great.”
I think it hasn’t been that long and you should wait.
In my state, Tennessee, judges almost never terminate rights unless you are married and that person is willing to adopt the child.
Check your states rules. Some states don’t allow it unless child will be adopted.
My thoughts are if he has made no effort and left while you were pregnant, he shouldn’t have any rights at all. My aunt literally put unacknowledged on her daughters birth certificate because the father walked out while she was pregnant. But this is in Canada though so…
Depends on the state you live in. WI will not even allow you to terminate rights of a bio parent unless you have someone willing to step up, if your lucky …I have 3 kids with my ex husband (one has no biological connection but I got full custody of her because both her mom and dad dropped her like a bad habit and he has never met my 2 girls that are 6 and 4) and still isn’t allowed. Even worse, if something happens to me with a will drawn up he has first right to take my girls and he can’t even take care of himself…unless he is agreeable to it…messed up world we live in. Good luck!
My sons father has not been in the picture since he was 5 by his own choices. I have been with my husband since my son was 2 he’s 18 now. I never terminated my sons biological fathers rights because 1 he isn’t around so he doesn’t bother me 2 it’s not my place to take my sons fathers rights away period ! Had my son been in any danger I would have done what was needed to keep him safe and not around a dangerous situation but I still would not have terminated his rights if given the option, I just don’t feel like it’s my place to do so just because he isn’t/wasn’t around and doesn’t pay child support.
Just get a court order for full custody. Then move on. No need to terminate rights. Thats being petty.
Do it, my sons sperm donar was never ever there I didn’t put him in the birth certificate so he has no rights what so ever anyways. But doing what you want puts you in the place your future husband can adopt your child without any trouble.
I think you’re going to have your son calling every Tom, Dick, and Harry daddy until one of them steps up to actually be daddy. It’s too soon for all this crap. I’m not trying to be mean, but seriously. This kid is calling someone daddy he’s only known for 5 months. Get your crap together lady. This is the least of your worries and you’re moving way too fast.
Some states have unmarried mother laws and they also have abandonment laws. Is he on the birth certificate? If not in some states he would have to establish paternity to even have rights. Or if he is on the birth certificate and has had no contact with his child for that states set timeframe you can take him to court to terminate rights under the abandonment law, if he is a no show it’s usually granted. If he does show the judge might hit him with back child support and grant a visitation schedule. My best advice because every state is different look into your specific state laws, have a consultation with a family attorney and see if this is something you really want to do.
My son is 6. His bio has not provided or tried to be involved more than 1-2 times a year since he was born. Walked out 3 months after he was born and a 13 year relationship/marriage. Owes me $42,000 in child support. My boyfriend of 4 years has always provided for him and treated him as his own since day one…my son does not call him dad (probably because I never referred to him as that with my son). I haven’t even thought about terminating his rights. My boyfriend would love to adopt him so if/when that happens I’d sit down with bio dad and discuss it despite the fact that I despise him for walking out on our son. I think it’s wayyyyyy too early to be doing that. Who’s to say he won’t step up tmrw and be a father?!
If that’s what he wants then go for it
Indiana in less you have someone willing to adopted they won’t do it
I’d go for full custody instead of termination of rights. For one your relationship is fairly new and you need someone to adopt him in place of the dad. For 2 dads have a lot more rights now, if he refuses I hope you have money for the court fees & a lawyer. I helped my friend try to get her kids dads rights terminated and even with him being abusive & the whole 9 the judge didn’t do it. Take the child support case to court though for sure if you actually need the help. He won’t have a choice but to step up.
Good luck, I can’t terminate my baby daddy’s rights due to the fact that nobody will adopt my kids and he hasn’t been apart of their lives since my youngest was 6 months old and he’s now 6. He pays child support but only because the state takes it out of his check, if that wasn’t the case he wouldn’t pay a dime
It’s super hard to terminate rights.
If he hasn’t been in your life since you were 18weeks pregnant he’s not on the birth certificate. Right? If he’s not on the birth certificate, you haven’t gone after him for cs & he hasn’t gone to court for rights in the eyes of the law he isn’t his father unless he proves otherwise. Check your state’s laws. In many (all that I know of) the father has a year to sign AOP. If your current bf is serious about being this child’s father he can become his legal father. You’ll never have to deal with your ex. Becareful! Because you will be tied to this man forever. There’s no going back.
Don’t completely cut him out. You never know if your son will need blood or anything like that at some point. & before anyone says anything- yes, any decent person would help anyway But, we’re also talking about someone who had abandoned their responsibilities.
So a couple of things to take into consideration. Termination of parental rights is not easy. It’s much easier to get sole custody. This isn’t about you or your ex. The court is only going to look at what’s in the best interest of the child. Even if the child’s been “abandoned” by the other side. The court looks at things long term. TPR (as it’s referred to) would make it so (just an example) your child wouldn’t be able to collect inheritance from his bio dad when bio dad passes. Because he no longer has any rights to anything. Your son is for all intents and purposes no longer your ex’s son. In most cases the court needs to see you in a long term relationship with someone who has plans to adopt your son prior to termination of your ex’s right. If you do decide to do it you can do the TPR and step parent adoption without a lawyer. Most states have all the forms online, but I would suggest getting a consultation from one (normally free) to talk through options first. Good luck.