Hi, moms are looking for some advice. My oldest son, who’s 6, dad, and I have been separated since right before his 2nd Xmas. We went to mediation about a year after because he kept jerking me around on visitation days, and he always wants him on the weekends. We also have a child support agreement witch he has always followed. So he’s currently paying child support monthly, and we follow mediation agreement with says he gets him every second weekend every Tuesday after school from 5-8 pm. Now his dad moved further away about a half-hour drive and complained that he wasn’t getting enough time on that day, so he wanted to keep him overnight and bring him to school in the am. Which, I finally agreed to. We also have worked out shared holidays or rotating holidays. His dad never really has any displace or consequences for his actions. He never tells him no and always buys him stuff just because he wants to be a nice fun dad. So when he comes home, he is rude, demanding, and instant-on getting his way. I also have two younger boys with my hubby of 3 years, and my son’s dad has a gf and 2 step kids. Now just two days ago, I was served with court papers is a dad is going for 5050/ visitation he already has joint custody where we both have to agree on medical religion and school decisions together. Now I’m wondering if it’s possible the courts will grant him this and we will change to change visitation too week on week off. My main concern is that my son needs routine and structure. Going and changing something that we’ve been following for 4ish years. His dad’s reasoning is that our son needs equal access for all family members, meaning he wants our son to be able to see his stepchildren more. With means, his step bothers I will suffer. So my main question is. Do/can I fight this in court or just work something out in mediation in agreeance to his dad?
Whats wrong with 50/50.?
Chances are slim if he is far away that it would be different schools.
Why not give him 50/50? It’s half his kid.
There is alot of court that are deciding this is good for the kids…I myself wouldnt see a problem with it… the more people to love my kids and the better we co parent the better the child…I think 50/50 is totally fair…and glad the court system finally acknowledges it
Just wait until court and let the judge decide.
Just go to court… show them what you all have already agreed upon and show he keeps trying to change it…
Go to court… He will not settle for anything less… Courts won’t allow a child education to fluxate because his father wants to spend more time… More likely to be granted more weekend time…
Ph a lawyer ASAP legal aide
Im not trying at all to be a jerk because it sucks when you have to share. But… You should share. Be thankful he wants to take on the responsibility of being a dad. I get its hard but its his child to. You made this child together therefore equal rights to parent the child equal time should be alowed.
Never underestimate a judge…
I doubt he’ll get 50 50 unless you agree.
I grew up on a visitation order. My dad got us every wednesday for a few hours and every other weekend. With shared holidays. (Xmas eve with dad, home like 10ish. And xmas at home). As far as i know, they will not split every week because of school, bussing, etc.
Go to court… you got served already so that means he won’t do negotiations… state your case and see what the judge says… if whatever is decided on, doesn’t work you go to court. Give him a chance… and tell the judge the spoiling needs to stop… everything needs to be earned
My friend has been doing the 50/50 thing with her ex since they separated. It works for their younger one, and it did for their older one until she hit High School and now she prefers to stay with her mom more. But they only live a mile apart and the girls no matter what house they are at is not far. Either parent can drop off and pick up easily. I mean I wonder both parents and their real motivations. Is it to pit the kid against each other? Could be? Custody agreements don’t all have to look alike. What works for one family might not for others. I say let him try the 50/50 agreement. If he has to drive the kid to school a half hour away every other week then it might not work for him. Another friend let his boys go live with their mom after he had them most of their lives. He let her to show her it won’t be easy. She needed to have some challenges with the boys.
You sound so entitled and ungrateful.
The child you SHARE with your ex will adjust to the new routine. And, even if you don’t like it, his father is entitled to as much time with his son as you are.
STOP MAKING IT ABOUT YOU. Give him 50/50 and stop being a control freak. He lives 30 mins away he can get your child to and from school. my ex husband and I live in the same city 30 mins from each other. We manage. So what, he buys him things it’s his way of making up for the time they lost if you do 50/50 it will stop. Stop being petty Betty and share because it’s what’s best for the child.
If he gets 50/50 we probably won’t have to pay support. I would Lawyer up. Just to be safe.
If he is participating and willing to keep the child in the same school then do the 50/50. You didn’t make him by yourself, that child is his too, sounds like you need to let him be a father instead of disney land dad.
Leave it up to a judge. Think of the kid.