"Guys, I need advice, and I’m kinda ashamed…
I was on Mirena. It got moved, and I didn’t realize it. Now I’m pregnant, not sure who the dad is. (It’s between my kid’s dad — we’ve been apart over a year just hooked up after he got out of jail — and a coworker.)
I’m terrified, not sure if I should tell either, or just say IDK who the dad is and leave it at that??? Help!!"
RELATED QUESTION: Can he legally order a paternity test?
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Been there. Be honest. Tell them both. Do DNA when the baby is born. Nobody can fault you for being honest.”
“I also went through not knowing and told both it was a possibility. My husband (then boyfriend on and off) decided he was going to be a dad to him either way, while the other possibility decided he wanted nothing to do with him either way. We eventually did a DNA test at 2 years and he is biologically (my husbands) but we weren’t 100% til then. Just like we have choices so do they, but make sure they both know so they can decide what they want. Hope everything turns out well!!! And congratulations!!!”
“Put your big girl pants on and tell both, each has a right to know they might be a dad and the kid has a right too.”
“Tell em both. You’re grown and so are they!”
“Be straight up with both of them. It’s an honest mistake! Plenty of people have sex with multiple people in a short period when they are single it’s totally not something to be ashamed of!”
“Be honest and tell both of them… No judgment… but just because you’re on birth control you still have to take precautions with whom you have sex with… You could have contracted a sti or something… You wanna sleep around… Go right on ahead lol but just take care of yourself and protect yourself from everything.”
“Be honest from the start. It’s scary but it’s honestly the easiest way to go for everyone.”
“I think you can do DNA testing through your blood test at 10 weeks, so it’s completely safe for the baby. I would say test it compared to one of your kid’s DNA to see if they are related. then tell the other person once you have the results.”
“I’ve never been in this situation but I see no reason to be ashamed. Just be honest with them both & take a paternity test after the baby is born. Hugs & prayers, mama.”
“I’d be honest about it. It’s not your fault, you used BC it just happened to fail.”
“No matter what enjoy your pregnancy! I went through this. Was honest and open, they did a test and I ended up being right anyways but we made sure! Just don’t let anyone ruin it for you with the opinions!”
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